Michelle Douglas - The Secretary's Secret

And then he went pale. Perspiration beaded his forehead, his top lip.

‘Would you like to know the sex of your baby?’

Alex dropped her hand, he backed up and then he bolted from the room. A chil settled over her. She tried to blink the sting from her eyes.

‘Kit?’ the doctor queried softly.

She stared back at the screen and shook her head. ‘I…uh…think I’d like that to be a surprise.’

He nodded and let her stare at the screen for a bit longer.

‘You know what the pregnancy books say, don’t you?’ he final y said.

It took a force of wil to focus on the doctor’s words rather than the doubts cascading through her mind. ‘What’s that?’

‘A woman becomes a mother the moment she finds out she’s pregnant. A man becomes a father only when his child is placed in his arms.’

She moistened her lips. Could he be right?

Her heart burned. She had a feeling it would take a miracle for Alex to embrace fatherhood again.

Then she recal ed the hunger that had stretched across his face. Maybe it wasn’t a miracle they needed, just some time?

She fastened her jeans again, thanked the doctor and left the consulting room to find Alex pacing in the corridor. Without a word, he took her arm and led her corridor. Without a word, he took her arm and led her outside to the car. He opened the passenger door for her, but she didn’t duck inside. She stood her ground until he met her eyes. ‘I’m sorry I put you through that. I’m sorry I asked you to stay when it quite obviously brought back bad memories for you.’

‘You have nothing to apologise for, Kit.’ His voice was clipped and short. ‘I’m just glad that your baby is wel .’

It’s your baby too! she wanted to shout as he walked around to the driver’s side.

She ducked inside the car and waited until he was seated beside her. ‘If I’d known the scan would remind you of Chad I wouldn’t have asked you to stay.’

He didn’t say anything.

‘The thing is—’ she swal owed ‘—I wouldn’t have thought the memory of Chad’s scan would be a bad thing. I’d have thought it’d be a happy memory.’

‘There is nothing happy to be had in any of those memories!’

She flinched at his tone, its hardness. ‘I…I was afraid that the scan would show something bad. I couldn’t face that on my own. Your being there, it helped…thank you.’

The pounding behind Alex’s eyes intensified at Kit’s simple words. Finding out her baby was wel and healthy—it should have been a moment of joy for her.

He’d ruined that.

But he hadn’t been able to stay in that room a moment longer. His stomach had become a hard bal of anguish that he thought would split him in two.

The picture on the screen and the sound of the baby’s heartbeat had threatened to tear him apart.

A bead of perspiration detached itself from his nape to trickle al the way down his back.

That’s not Kit’s fault.

He closed his eyes and dragged in a breath, tried to grab the tatters of his control and shape them back into place around him. He would fix her house; he would make arrangements to pay her child support. He’d fulfil his obligations. And then he’d get the hel out of her life. He didn’t have anything more to offer her.

He sent her a sidelong glance. She’d gone pale.

The knowledge that he’d robbed her of her joy left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had to clench his hands on the steering wheel to stop from leaning forward and resting his head on it.

He started up the car because there wasn’t anything else he could think to do. ‘I thought we could do some shopping, do something about the woeful state of your freezer. I figured it was time someone taught you to cook.’

His attempt at levity didn’t work.

‘I don’t much feel like shopping.’

Idiot! Why hadn’t he been able to control his reaction to the scan? She’d been il . She was stil recovering. He was supposed to be looking out for her.

He opened his mouth to apologise, to explain, but the words wouldn’t come. He revved the car extra hard. He shoved his shoulders back. ‘You’re right.

It’s time we got back. I’m expecting a delivery from the hardware store.’

The delivery had already arrived by the time they returned. The wood was neatly stacked in the front garden beneath a tarpaulin. Frank was in the process of stacking al the tools Alex had hired onto the veranda out of the weather.

He strode up to Alex and clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Howdy, neighbour.’

The familiarity had him rol ing his shoulders.

‘Hel o, Frank.’ It took a concerted effort not to add, I’m only here temporarily, you know?

‘What did the doctor say, Kitty-Kat?’

Kit lifted her chin and smiled at Frank with an easiness that made his heart burn. She hadn’t smiled at him like that since he’d arrived in Tuncurry.

‘I got the al -clear. Mother and baby are doing fine.’

‘That’s grand news, love.’

It was. And Alex had rained on her parade. He didn’t deserve her smiles.

Frank gestured to the tools. ‘Good to see you haven’t wasted any time. What’s the plan?’

Alex told him because it was easier than fol owing Kit into the house and dealing with the reproachful silence she’d subjected him to in the car.

He’d deserved it, he knew that, but he didn’t know how to put things right. It’d be better for al concerned if she just kept thinking of him as some kind of unfeeling monster.

He battled the scowl building up inside him and told Frank how he meant to replace the joists and wal studs in the living room wal after he’d fixed the broken tiles on the roof, and then how he was going to re-plaster the wal and paint the house.

‘If you need a hand…’

Frank’s eager face final y burned itself into his brain. Frank wanted to help, was dying to be useful, and Alex didn’t have the heart to rain on another person’s parade today. ‘You wouldn’t happen to be handy with a sander by any chance, would you?’

‘I would be.’

Alex clapped the older man on the shoulder. ‘Then you’re hired. A second pair of hands wil be a godsend.’

Frank beamed at him and Alex found he could stil smile. After a fashion.

CHAPTER EIGHT

KIT and Alex spent the next week working on their individual projects. Because there was so much dust and noise from the work Alex was doing in the living-dining area, Kit had set up a temporary office in one corner of her bedroom—a card table, her laptop and a file that was over a foot thick that had been couriered from Sydney.

Alex always broke off at lunchtime to make sure she ate. And that Frank ate too, if the older man was helping and hadn’t already left for one of his tri-weekly swims that Doreen insisted he keep up.

‘Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, lovey. Doctor’s orders.’

Kit had the distinct impression that some days Frank was more of a hindrance than a help. His pleasure at being of use, though, touched her. So did Alex’s patience with him.

It was a side she hadn’t seen to Alex before. As the multi-mil ionaire executive in Sydney, Alex had been demanding, dictatorial and, at times, difficult.

He paid his executives top dol ar and as a result he expected them to be on the bal —no excuses. But this Alex, the builder-tradesman working on her house in Tuncurry, he was more laid-back, more relaxed. More human.

He made her heart beat harder too.

Nonsense! Don’t rhapsodise.

It was just…if Alex could be this good with an eager elderly gentleman, then wouldn’t he be great with a child?

The thought hitched her breath, made her stomach churn and her fingers tremble. She pushed away from the card table to pace. She’d been lucky thus far in her pregnancy—she hadn’t suffered much from nausea. But whenever she thought of Alex’s reaction during her scan, her stomach rebel ed and bile rose in her throat.