Michelle Douglas - The Secretary's Secret

He shifted his feet, scowled at the ground and knocked.

‘Lovey!’ Doreen appeared. ‘C’mon in.’

He shook his head and fought the urge to fidget. ‘I don’t want to leave Kit for too long in case she needs me. I just—’

‘Frank! It’s Kit’s young man, Alex.’

Alex gritted his teeth.

‘Come in and have a beer, young man,’ Frank offered.

Again, Alex shook his head. ‘The doctor has diagnosed Kit with a kidney infection. She should be fine but he’s ordered bed rest for the next few days. I don’t want to leave her alone for too long.’

Both Frank and Doreen nodded sagely, as if this made perfect sense. As far as Alex was concerned, the longer he remained in Tuncurry, the less sense anything made.

‘Kit wanted me to come over and thank you.’ He suddenly realized how grudging that sounded, as if he hadn’t appreciated what they’d done—their attempts to tidy up, the casserole. ‘I mean we wanted to thank you.’ But he and Kit, they weren’t a we and he didn’t want to give the wrong impression.

‘Just…’ He gave up. ‘Thank you. It was thoughtful of you.’

Frank eyed him. ‘You’re a city boy, right, Alex?’

When Alex didn’t say anything he added, ‘You’l find we’re more community-minded out here.’

Community? It took an effort to stop his lips from twisting. From where he was standing, that just meant Kit would probably get stuck with looking after Frank and Doreen in a few years’ time when they both started losing their faculties.

Stil , they had checked up on her today and that had been a nice thing to do. And they’d made sure she had food.

Both Frank and Doreen looked at him expectantly.

He cleared his throat. ‘It’s nice to know Kit has such good neighbours.’

‘No doubt we’l al get better acquainted now you’re here, lad.’

Alex took a step back. No way! The expectation, the cosy familiarity, the good-spiritedness, it wrapped around him, threatening to suffocate him, to bury him. He took another step back. ‘I…uh…should get back to Kit. Goodnight.’

He turned and fled.

There wasn’t any comfort in returning to Kit’s house, though. He glared at the hole in her wal and then threw himself down on the nearest sofa. White dust rose up al around him.

His curse ground out from between gritted teeth.

He couldn’t bolt and leave Kit’s living room looking like a demolition site.

If the child she was carrying was his…

He leapt up and stomped off to find a broom, a bucket and some cleaning cloths. Tonight he’d be sleeping on plastic because he wasn’t taking the wrapping off the sofas until he’d had a chance to vacuum, and he wasn’t vacuuming tonight. It’d wake Kit and she needed to rest.

Alex checked on Kit again at midnight. She’d taken her antibiotics, she’d eaten some dinner and then she’d slept. So far, so good. She needed to get wel .

He wanted her to get wel as soon as possible.

So you can leave?

He tried not to scowl.

From the light of the hal way he caught sight of the title of the book on her bedside table— What To Expect When You’re Expecting . He picked it up and tiptoed back out into the living room. Lowering himself to the sofa that would be his bed for the night, he turned to the page she had bookmarked.

And froze.

Everything went blank.

The bookmark—it was an ultrasound photograph of Kit’s child.

Of his child.

He snapped the book shut and rested his head in his hands. A baby. A child.

He lifted his head, darkness surging up to fil the empty places inside him. He wasn’t doing that again.

He couldn’t.

You don’t care what’s best for our baby. All you care about is what’s best for you.

Kit didn’t understand. Him getting out of her and the baby’s lives—that would be best for her and the baby.

And for you too.

He nodded heavily. And for him too. It didn’t stop a part of him from feeling as if it were dying, though.

When he final y fel asleep that night, Alex had a nightmare about Chad. He raced through a darkened mansion, his legs wooden and heavy, his heart pounding faster and faster as he searched for the two-year-old. Chad’s laughter, always just out of reach, taunted him and spurred him on. The rooms in the mansion went on and on. He tried cal ing out Chad’s name but his voice wouldn’t work. His legs grew heavier and heavier. It took al his energy to push forward. He pul ed open the final door, surged through it, to find himself plummeting off the edge of a cliff.

He woke before he slammed into the jagged rocks at the bottom, breathing hard and with Chad’s name on his lips. He lay in the dark and tried to catch his breath, his skin damp and clammy with perspiration. He tried tel ing himself Chad was safe, living somewhere in Buenos Aires with his mother, but that didn’t ease the darkness that stole through his soul.

Before he and Kit had made love, he hadn’t had a nightmare about Chad in over ten months.

He shoved the thought away. It wasn’t Kit’s fault she made him feel things he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was his fault for giving in to temptation. Biting back a groan, he pushed up into a sitting position.

Past experience told him he would get no more sleep tonight. He dragged a hand down his face.

That was okay. There was stil plenty of cleaning to do.

A sharp rap on the front door just after nine o’clock had Alex fal ing over his feet to answer it before the noise of another knock could wake Kit.

The woman who stood on the other side raked him up and down with bold, unimpressed eyes. ‘I’m Caro,’ she said without preamble. ‘Kit’s best friend.’

She didn’t stick her hand out. ‘Doreen rang me. I take it you’re Alex?’

‘That’s right.’

She folded her arms. ‘I’ve heard al about you.’

He gathered none of it had been complimentary.

‘How’s Kit?’

‘Asleep,’ he ground out.

‘Al night?’

‘She was up—’

She brushed past him into the living room. ‘She’s not supposed to be up!’

He clenched his jaw til he thought his teeth might snap. He unclenched it to say, ‘The doctor said she was al owed up to have a quick shower once a day.’

He felt like a schoolboy hauled up in front of the principal. ‘She had breakfast, took her antibiotics and now she’s sleeping again.’

‘You’d better tel me you prepared her breakfast.’

Who the hel did this woman think she was? He was tempted to shove her back out of the door again. ‘Look, I’m worried about her too. I mean to make sure she fol ows the doctor’s orders to the letter.’

‘I’m going to pop my head in to check on her.’

‘Don’t wake her,’ he growled.

She tossed him a withering glance before disappearing down the hal way that led to Kit’s bedroom.

He scowled after her. She had another thing coming if she thought he was offering her coffee.

Darn it! She was Kit’s friend. He stalked into the kitchen and put the jug on to boil.

Caro entered moments later. ‘You and me—’ she pointed to him ‘—outside, now.’

He blinked. ‘Are you cal ing me out for a fight? I’ve got to warn you, Caro, I don’t hit women.’

She smiled sweetly. ‘It should be a walkover then, shouldn’t it?’ She glared and held the back door open. ‘I want to talk to you and I don’t want to disturb Kit while I’m doing it.’

And she was itching to bawl him out. It didn’t take a degree in economics and a finely honed ability to read people to figure that one out. He decided it might be safer if Caro didn’t have a hot drink in her hand. He preceded her out of the door and into the back garden. Kit’s bedroom faced the street. They shouldn’t disturb her out here.