Andrew Vachss - False Allegations

I could feel Heather's eyes, but not Kite's—like he wasn't giving off any heat, just a piece of furniture. When I looked past the woman, Heather had turned her back to me. She was looking at the hologram, standing hip–shot, one hand under her chin, like she was studying a painting. I looked where her eyes were trained. The child's kite was gone. Now there was a bird, hovering high, face to the wind. A hawk, maybe, watching the ground. I couldn't see where the hawk was looking—Heather's hips blocked that part.

"All that time," I asked Jennifer, "you never—"

"All what time?"

"From when you walked out of Brother Jacob's house in Buffalo to when you tried to kill yourself. How long was that?"

"Nine, ten years."

"You never thought about what happened? Never thought about Brother Jacob?"

"No. If I had, I would have gone to a judge."

"Sued him?"

"No, the church has a judge. Every congregation has a judge. Any neighbor can file a complaint against any other neighbor, even a minister. Judges have to investigate the complaints, and then they report to the Council."

"That's still in the church."

"Yes. The Council is always seven: three judges, two deacons, and two neighbors. They're elected. If the judge files a report, the Council decides if there's guilt. And if there's guilt, the Council decides on the punishment."

"Which can be what?"

"You can be fined. Or suspended. Even banned from the church, depending on what you did."

"But you never—"

"No. I never thought about it. Not about going to the judge. I mean, about…it."

"You never called Brother Jacob, or wrote a letter?"

"No. I mean, not after that time when I found out—"

"And he never contacted you."

"No. I just went into a void, I guess. I don't really know—I don't understand that part so well."

"So how did you—?"

"When I started the counseling, I just told them the truth. I failed at everything, and I didn't know why. After a while, they said there were…gaps, like. That's when I went for hypnosis."

I could feel Kite stiffen next to me, but he didn't make a sound. "By yourself?" I asked her.

"Yes. Oh! You mean…no, I mean, it wasn't my idea. They found the therapist for me. The hypnosis, that was just part of it, not the whole thing. And it was a doctor. A real one, I mean. Not a Ph.D. doctor, like I have for my regular therapy."

"How long were you in—"

"I still am," she said, cutting into my question. "I guess I will be for a long time. It was…months before I even started to remember."

"But then it all came out?"

"I don't know if it's all out," she said, her voice resigned. "I don't know…yet. I remember stuff more and more all the time. But what I told you, that much I know is true."

"We've been doing this for a while," I said, glancing at my watch. "I need some time to absorb everything before we talk again, all right?"

"Yes," she said. Her eyes confronted mine. "Do you believe me?" she asked, her voice so thickly veined it vibrated a little.

"I don't think you're lying," I said carefully.

"Heather will show you out," Kite said to her, suddenly coming alive. "And I'll call you as soon as we have another appointment."

"All right," she said quietly, getting to her feet. Heather was at her side instantly, a pudgy hand on the woman's forearm. I heard Heather's heels moving away on the hardwood floor. Closed my eyes.

Iheard a faint rustle from Kite's direction—he was getting to his feet. He moved away, soundlessly. I kept my eyes closed.

The tap of Heather's heels, coming close. Blood–orchid perfume. Sharp intake of breath.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I could feel her voice on my face. I didn't open my eyes. "Yeah," I told her. "Just…processing it all."

"He's an evil man," she said.

"Brother Jacob?"

"Yes. An evil man. A liar. That's the worst thing you can be."

"The worst thing?"

"Lying is the root. Every time. But he wasn't just lying for himself, was he? He made her a liar too. He changed the truth for her."

"Heather, have you ever talked to her?"

"Well…sure."

"I don't mean here. Anyplace else? Just you and her, alone?"

"No. I mean…when would I?"

"I don't know. I was just asking."

"I'd tell you if I had. I'll tell you everything, if you want to know."

"When?"

"Someday," she whispered, leaning so close her lips were against me. I felt the kiss on my face. Right under my cheekbone, next to the bruise. Then I heard her heels tap away until she was standing behind me, waiting for Kite.

When I opened my eyes, they were on Kite's reposed face. He'd slipped back into his chair as quietly as a bird landing on a branch.

"It bothers me too," he said. "The whole hypnosis thing. You know about the so–called 'false memory' controversy?"

"I heard about it," I said, neutral.

"The water is very murky. There is no question but that the recovery of repressed memory is a documented, scientific fact. Repression? Of course it exists."

I listened to him. Wishing some of my memories were repressed. Maybe there wouldn't have been that dead kid in that basement in the Bronx…

"You can't 'remember' pain," Kite went on. "You'd go stark raving mad if you could. Not physical pain, anyway. But some memories certainly can be repressed…and then surface without warning. Take the 'Vietnam Vet' syndrome. I actually provided some help to the defense in one such case—a man who committed a series of rapes while reexperiencing combat in Vietnam. Flashbacks caused him to—"

"That guy was convicted, right?" I said. I remembered the case. One of Wolfe's, before she got fired. The perp said he'd been flashbacking, believed he was back in Vietnam when he committed the rapes. But he'd robbed the women after he was through with them every time—and he came unglued when Wolfe asked him how many gold chains he'd snatched in Vietnam.

"Society is not always alert to scientific advances," Kite replied, undisturbed. His face shifted into harsh lines, and his voice tightened. "But that does not change the truth. We will never succeed as professional debunkers, we will never be able to testify credibly in a court of law, we will never be able to make a real contribution to society…to the world …if we persist in the overheated rhetoric that none of those with recovered memories are telling the truth!"

I heard the tap of Heather's heels behind me, but she wasn't moving, just shifting her weight, caught up in Kite's jury–summation voice.

"I realize I may be dismissed from the movement for this," he said, letting a deeper organ–stop into his voice, as though he realized it was getting shrill. "But I will not be humiliated in court the way I have seen it happen to my colleagues. 'Have all the cases you've investigated turned out to be false allegations, Mr. Kite?' he said in a sarcastic imitation of a high–pitched woman's voice. 'And if you ever found out an allegation was true, you'd go right to the police, wouldn't you, Mr. Kite? I will never go through such an experience. I need one victim, one real victim, one whose memories are just resurfacing. And now, I've found one. At least, I believe I have…"

"A legit—?"

"Trauma is scar tissue over memory," he said, his voice changing to a reasonable tone. "There have been cases of violent bank robberies, for example. A woman teller is terrified, goes into traumatic shock. She can't identify the robbers, not even their age or race or height. She undergoes clinical hypnosis at the hands of an experienced, trained professional. And she recovers her memory to the point where she can describe the robbers perfectly. The defense says that you can't trust memories like that—too many other factors might have interfered with the 'picture' the woman's getting. But the videotape from the bank surveillance camera shows her description of the robbers was dead accurate. So we know it can happen. But…"