Andrew Vachss - Dead and Gone

They all breathed in rhythm with me, helping.

I felt Gem’s hand against my cheek, her little thumb against the bullet hole, rubbing it in tiny circles.

My screen cleared. I knew where I was. Why I was there.

And where I’d been.

I turned to Lune. “You broke me out, brother,” I told him.

His eyes looked wet. Or maybe my own were still cloudy from the trip.

I told them the whole story, exactly as it had just flashed back to me. How the freak had stumbled into the trap I’d set and found out his “immunity” was as real as his “love” for little boys. I knew he went down, heard it was a pretty significant jolt.

“He fits either side of the pattern,” Lune said. “He might want vengeance for what you did to him. Or he might believe you would be coming after him, anyway, once you connected him to Darcadia.”

“Or both,” the Latina said.

“Or both,” Lune acknowledged. “He knows you are dangerous in ways your ‘reputation’ does not indicate. And he knows you have resources within law enforcement. This Wolfe … the prosecutor who—”

“She’s gone,” I told him. “Off the job. Fired for not kissing political ass. Wolfe wouldn’t be a problem to him.”

“The way you describe her, she sounds like a fierce woman,” Heidi said. “What does she do now?”

“She runs a private network. Mostly info-trafficking.”

Clint and Minh exchanged looks, but it was Levi who put it into words: “And she still has deep law-enforcement contacts, yes?”

“She does,” I admitted.

“And if she came across this Darcadia thing, she’d know who to take it to, right?” Clint asked.

“Yeah,” I said, seeing the tiles drop into the mosaic.

“This man knows you have a … relationship with Wolfe, as well,” Lune said. It wasn’t a question.

I just nodded.

“And he must have considerable resources. Indicated by several authenticated factors in addition to his financing of the assassination attempt. But the Darcadia project has already taken in …?” he asked, turning to Heidi.

“No less than twenty million. Double that would not be beyond probability,” the math girl answered.

“I got it,” I told them all.

And I did. It was a familiar song. I’d learned it as a tortured baby, and heard it the rest of my life.

What it always comes down to.

Them or me.

Just before we were ready to pull out the next morning, I went to see Lune. He was in the command center, working at his charts.

“Lune, will you do something for me?”

“I would do anything for you,” he said. “If it wasn’t for—”

“If it wasn’t for you , I’d be a walking target, stumbling around in the dark until they finally took me out,” I cut him off. “I know what to do now. That isn’t the favor.”

“Just tell me.”

“Tell me , Lune. Tell me about your real parents.”

“Why?” he asked, topaz eyes bright with something I’d never understand.

“Because, as soon as this is over, I’m going to try and find them for you, brother.”

And for the next couple of hours, I listened while the beautiful crazy man with the desperado’s searching heart told me all about his parents, who never were.

We went out the same way we’d come in. Not the same route, but with Heidi and the Latina pack-muling, while Levi led the way, his sniper’s eyes checking the path. Indeh trotted alongside, happy to be out working again.

Even though it was pretty much downhill, it was a good thing we had help lugging out our stuff. Lune’s crew had put together reams of material about Darcadia and the man behind it, and I was going to need it to get my work done.

They walked with us all the way to where Levi had stashed the Land Rover. The Latina gave Gem a deep hug while Heidi shook hands with me and said, “Good luck, Burke.” Then she turned to hug Gem herself. The Latina turned her back and started walking away.

Levi drove us down through the mountains, his Canary dog on the front seat next to him. He didn’t say a word until we got into Albuquerque.

“Lune gave you a way to reach us,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

“He did,” I acknowledged.

“There are always two tasks. One is to find the path; the other is to walk the path. Yes?”

“Yes.”

“There is no rule about walking the path alone,” he said.

“I won’t be,” I promised him.

“I would walk it with you, if you wish.”

I was too stunned at the Indian’s dealing himself in to say anything. Gem didn’t have that problem. “We would be honored,” she said.

On the trip back, I stayed inside myself, thinking through that last exchange. Gem didn’t press me, letting me have my silence. Finally, on the last leg of the flight into PDX, I told her where we stood: “What you said to the Indian … There’s no more ‘we’ in this, little girl. Understand?”

“It is not your choice,” she said, her lips drawn tight.

“You know what I have to do now?”

“Yes. I am not stupid.”

“I have to go back to New York,” I said, ignoring her tart answer. “To my family. I need a plan. This is a bad guy. With bad people backing him up. When it’s over, I’ll—”

“I will come to New York with you,” she announced, like it was something she planned to serve for dinner.

“You don’t understand, Gem. I got no place to go to there. I’m supposed to be dead. I don’t know who’s looking … or even if anyone is. But I have to stay very low. You’d just be in the way.”

“I will not. I have places I could stay there myself.”

“No.”

“No? You are my husband, not my master. I am going to New York. I will give you a phone number where you can find me there. I will be close, if you need me.”

“Gem …”

“In the meantime, it is better if we travel together. As I said before, that is not what people would expect of you.”

Two weeks later, I watched Wolfe’s tango-dancer legs flash in the sunlight as she climbed out of her battered old Audi. Her Rottweiler stayed in the car. I was glad of that, and not just because I was afraid of the beast. Seeing people with their dogs …

“I heard you were dead,” she said, sarcastically.

“Sure. Are you telling me nobody’s buying?”

“Oh, I think they are. Word is you got blown away by some drug dealers you’d ripped off a long time ago. Remember that?”

Remember it? I’d done time for it when the wheels came off. And I’d done it the right way, too. Alone .

I didn’t bother to answer her.

“So what do you want?” she asked, gray eyes glacial.

I told her everything. Well, not everything. Nothing about Lune. Or how I got the information. But all the facts.

“So this dirtbag has graduated to international, is that what you’re telling me?” she finally asked.

“What I’m telling you is that he tried to take me out. Spent a lot of money doing it. If it’s revenge for what we did to him years ago, you could be on his list, too.”

“Fine. Now he’s on mine,” is all I got out of her.

“You never heard of this Darcadia thing before?”

“Sure. It’s no real secret, especially with the kind of money they’ve been raking in. But I didn’t know this freak was the big player.”

“Aren’t the federales interested?”

“Maybe IRS. Or the money-laundering guys. Might even be a candidate for RICO-fraud, I don’t know. But it’s not lighting up anybody’s screen, I can tell you that.”

“Good.”

“I don’t under—Oh. It’s like that, huh?”

“I’ve got no choice.”

“You had choices once,” Wolfe said. Then she turned and walked away.