Abigail Browining: Murder Most Merry

Disaster was in tears, Miss MacArthur was loudly indignant and threatened to sue the police for false arrest, and Mr. Harrington developed what he called a nervous stomach, on account, he said, of the way the toy department was being left understaffed and unsupervised on one of the busiest days of the year.

At long last Superintendent Armitage came in. He said, “Nothing. Abso-bloody-lutely nothing. Well, I can’t keep you people here indefinitely. I suggest you all go out and get yourselves some lunch.” He sounded very tired and cross and almost human.

With considerable relief we prepared to leave the staffroom. Only Mr. Harrington announced that he felt too ill to eat anything, and that he would remain in the department. The Misses MacArthur and Aster left together. I put on my coat and took the escalator down to the ground floor, among the burdened, chattering crowd.

I was out in the brisk air of the street when I heard Armitage’s voice behind me.

“Just one moment, if you please, Mr. Borrowdale.”

I turned. “Yes, Superintendent. Can I help you?”

“You’re up at the university, aren’t you, sir? Just taken a temporary job at Barnum’s for the vacation?”

“That’s right.”

“Do quite a bit of fencing, don’t you?”

He had my cane out of my hand before I knew what was happening. The sergeant, an extraordinarily tough and unattractive character, showed surprising dexterity and speed in getting an arm grip on me. Armitage had unscrewed the top of the cane, and was whistling in a quiet, appreciative manner. “Very nice. Very nice little sword stick. Something like a stilletto. I don’t suppose Charlie felt a thing.”

“Now, look here,” I said. “You can’t make insinuations like that. Just because I’m known as a bit of dandy, and carry a sword stick, that’s no reason—”

“A dandy, eh?” said Armitage thoughtfully. He looked me up and down in a curious manner, as if he thought something was missing.

It was at that moment that Miss MacArthur suddenly appeared round the corner of the building.

“Oh, Mr. Borrowdale, look what I found! Lying down in the mews by the goods entrance! It must have fallen out of the staffroom window! Lucky I’ve got sharp eyes—it was behind a rubbish bin, I might easily have missed it!” And she handed me my bowler hat.

That is to say, she would have done if Armitage hadn’t intercepted it. It didn’t take him more than five seconds to find the packages of white powder hidden between the hard shell of the hat and the oiled-silk lining.

Armitage said, “So you were going to peddle this stuff to young men and women at the university, were you? Charming, I must say. Now you can come back to the Yard and tell us all about your employers—if you want a chance at saving your own neck, that is.”

Miss MacArthur was goggling at me. “Oh, Mr. Borrowdale!” she squeaked. “Have I gone and done something wrong?”

I never did like Miss MacArthur.

[i] Ed. note: A joyful note to anachronism—shortly after this story was written.

Table of Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

A WINTER’S TALE – Ann Cleeves

GRIST FOR THE MILLS OF CHRISTMAS – James Powell

AS DARK AS CHRISTMAS GETS – Lawrence Block

RUMPOLE AND THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS – John Mortimer

DEAD ON CHRISTMAS STREET – John D. MacDonald

MISS CRINDLE AND FATHER CHRISTMAS – Malcolm Gray

MYSTERY FOR CHRISTMAS – Anthony Boucher

THE CASE IS ALTERED – Margery Allingham

CHRISTMAS COP – Thomas Larry Adcock

THE THEFT OF THE CHRISTMAS STOCKING – Edward D. Hoch

THE CHRISTMAS BEAR – Herbert Resnicow

THE SHAPE OF THE NIGHTMARE – Francis M. Nevins, Jr.

CHRISTMAS GIFT – Robert Turner

SANTA’S WAY – James Powell

I SAW MOMMY KILLING SANTA CLAUS – George Baxt

SUPPER WITH MISS SHIVERS – Peter Lovesey

APPALACHIAN BLACKMAIL – Jacqueline Vivelo

ON CHRISTMAS DAY IN THE MORNING – Margery Allingham

SANTA CLAUS BEAT – Rex Stout

WHITE LIKE THE SNOW – Dan Stumpf

RUMPOLE AND THE CHAMBERS PARTY – John Mortimer

THE SPY AND THE CHRISTMAS CIPHER – Edward D. Hoch

INSPECTOR TIERCE AND THE CHRISTMAS VISITS – Jeffry Scott

CHRISTMAS PARTY – Martin Werner

THE ADVENTURE OF THE BLUE CARBUNCLE – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

THE EMBEZZLER’S CHRISTMAS PRESENT – Ennis Duling

BELIEVING IN SANTA – Ron Goulart

PASS THE PARCEL – Peter Lovesey

THE THEFT OF SANTA’S BEARD – Edward D. Hoch

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH – Georges Simenon

MURDER UNDER THE MISTLETOE – Margery Allingham

WHO KILLED FATHER CHRISTMAS? – Patricia Moyes

[i]