Christian Cameron - God of War - The Epic Story of Alexander the Great

Of course we played hockey in Macedon. Do you think we’re barbarians?

Hah! Don’t answer that.

At any rate, putting my recruits into their places, making sure that every new man was on duty with a reliable oldster – it used up half my evening, and I was late to the great hall.

Olympias was there. I missed what had transpired, but I gathered from witnesses that Alexander had taken her to task for her wholesale massacre of young Cleopatra’s relatives, and she had told him to get more realistic about his approach to imperial politics.

As I entered, Olympias had just lain down on a couch – something Macedonian women most emphatically did not do, back then. ‘At any rate,’ she drawled, ‘you need their money, dear. You have none.’

‘Money is easy,’ Alexander said, and snapped his fingers. ‘I’ll act, and the money will come.’

Antipater shook his head. ‘We’ve reached a stable point,’ he said. ‘With the money from your last campaigns, which is just enough to pay most of your father’s debts. Disband the army, and we’re home free.’

You have to imagine the scene – forty senior officers and noblemen – Laodon and Erygius, Cleitus, Perdiccas, Hephaestion, of course – all the inner circle, dressed in their best, but relaxed, lying about the place drinking too much. We’d gone a year without a break, and the atmosphere was . . . festive. Even dangerous. Slave girls walked carefully, or bow-legged. Boys too.

Olympias downed her wine. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Disband the army, call Parmenio home where you can keep an eye on him, and we’ll be fine.’ She smiled demurely. ‘I’m sure we can live safe and happy, after that.’

Alexander stood up. Hephaestion knew him best and caught at his hand, but Alexander was too fast. His cup crashed to the floor a hand’s breadth from his mother’s head. ‘I am going to Asia!’ he shrieked. ‘I am not disbanding my army. I am not releasing one man .’ He was shaking. ‘I care nothing for the cost. My men will march without air if I march.’

Uh-oh. I knew that the pezhetaeroi had been home three days and they were already muttering about back pay, land grants, new clothes, sandals – all the things soldiers require.

Antipater had been away from the king too long, and had forgotten how to manage him. He took on a pompous tone. ‘Eventually, we can consider Asia, lord. But for now, we have to be realistic.’

Alexander stopped shrieking. He turned on Antipater, and his hands were shaking. ‘Listen, you,’ he said quietly. ‘I don’t care if I have to have my mother murder every aristocrat in Macedon so that I can seize their estates. I am marching on Asia at the head of a magnificent army – all the allies – the crusade to avenge Xerxes.’ He walked carefully over to Antipater. ‘Do – you – understand?’

Antipater was shaken. We all were. Alexander had been on the edge of this sort of explosion before, but he didn’t actually cross a certain line.

Right then, he had his hidden dagger in his hand, and I thought he was going to kill Antipater. So did Antipater.

Olympias got to her feet – she came up to Alexander’s shoulder, or a little more – and took his hand. ‘There, there, my love,’ she said cautiously but firmly. She took the dagger from him and put her wine cup in its place.

He drank, but his eyes had more white than pupil, and he terrified all of us so much that we didn’t talk about it.

The next day, Antipater sent for Parmenio. He did it with Alexander’s permission and over the royal seal, but we knew who ordered whom, and again, I was afraid. I suspected that Parmenio and Antipater were now going to murder Alexander because they were afraid of him.

Parmenio arrived two days later. He’d already been on his way – or, as Thaïs suggested, he’d been near by, waiting for Antipater to arrange his arrival. Either way, his timing was propitious.

I’m going to pause in my historical account here to talk about Thaïs. We were ‘getting along’. Athens had poisoned something between us. It is difficult to explain, because I understood enough to worry and not enough to make it right. Had she been unfaithful with Alexander? What was unfaithfulness, in a hetaera? And had the situation – loyalty to me, to Alexander, to Athens – unbalanced her? What role had pregnancy played? Pregnant women can be deeply irrational. Men use this as an excuse to describe women as irrational as a tribe – unfair, stupid, vicious, of men, but let’s face it. Pregnant women can be very difficult.

Hey, you’d be difficult, too, if you were carrying a baby between your legs in a Greek summer.

At any rate, we avoided all these topics. We were like allies, not lovers. We lived together, we were intimate enough. I thought I’d outlast her anger.

Sometimes, I’m quite intelligent.

Parmenio’s welcome was tumultuous and magnificent. Alexander spared no effort for him, and he received much the sort of welcome we had received. He had, after all, taken and held the crossings into Asia, even though he’d lost most of the cities to Memnon, who had, let’s face it, outgeneralled Parmenio in each of three encounters. Something else you won’t find in the Military Journal.

Parmenio was a careful man, a professional soldier and not a courtier. He’d been Philip’s favourite, and he and Antipater were, I think, actually, genuinely friends, not just tolerant allies and rivals. As soon as Parmenio arrived and was welcomed, he and Antipater vanished into the part of the palace that functioned as the headquarters of the army and the secretariat of the king – the bureaucracy, if you like. They spoke for four hours, and Parmenio emerged smiling.

I say he emerged, because I was right there. Alexander had ordered me to provide Parmenio with a direct escort. He had a troop of Thessalian cavalry of his own – his ‘grooms’, if you like, although he was so famous that they were all knights – but they were not allowed in the palace (my new security cordon in effect) and I watched the great man myself.

When he came out of the ‘office’ wing, he looked around as my guards moved to surround him.

‘Young Ptolemy, I think? Last time I saw you, lad, you were naked and playing in the mud.’ He held out a hand. But despite his patronising words, he offered me the full hand and arm clasp of the warrior, and held it warmly. ‘Your father would, I think, be quite proud.’

‘From your mouth to the ears of the gods,’ I said. ‘The king is waiting for you, sir.’

He nodded. As we walked, he said, ‘I gather you and Nicanor had a disagreement.’

I nodded. ‘A misunderstanding, I think. My impression is that Nicanor and I are good, now. If not, let’s settle it. Your family and mine are old allies.’

‘By Zeus, lad, you speak just like your father. “Let’s settle it”. Herakles’ dick, Ptolemy, how do you survive here, if you speak the truth?’ Parmenio was like a force of nature. It was impossible – impossible – not to like him.

I grinned. ‘It’s my job. Ask the king. He’ll say the same. Hephaestion tells him what he wants to hear and I tell him what he doesn’t want to hear.’

Parmenio stopped. ‘Like what?’

I saw the pit yawning at my feet. ‘Best ask the king, sir.’

He nodded. ‘You want to go to Asia?’

Now I stopped. ‘Is this a trick question? I command a squadron of the Hetaeroi.’

He shrugged. ‘I don’t know if we’re going to Asia, and I don’t know if I’m taking you, even if we go. If this talk is too straight for you, you tell me, son of Lagus.’

‘Meaning that I’m no longer commanding my Hetaeroi?’ I asked.

He looked at me. ‘We’ll see, lad. You did a fine job this summer, but you’re no veteran. And Antipater wants you.’ He looked around – an astounding gesture from a man so powerful. Creepy, almost. ‘You are a great landowner, not a penniless mercenary. Think about it.’