Cody McFadyen - The Face of Death

"You murder those who enrage and frustrate you," an instructor once noted. "Who better to incite rage and frustration than the object of your desire? Or," he continued, "to put it more crudely: When he closes his eyes and masturbates, what sex does he see--a man or a woman? The answer will be the gender of his victims."

I nod. Something to think about. I continue with my notes. PERP ATTACKED DURING THE DAY. WHY TAKE THE RISK? THERE'S A REASON FOR THIS.

PERP LEFT SARAH ALIVE.

COMMUNICATES WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT. A PLANNER.

HE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.

MESSAGE LEFT AT THE KINGSLEY SCENE IN SARAH'S BEDROOM: THIS PLACE = PAIN. MESSAGE LEFT AT THE VARGAS SCENE: THIS

PLACE = JUSTICE.

(Note to self: Why "pain"for Sarah, and "justice"for Vargas? This is significant.)

APPEARS DISORGANIZED.

I look at this line. Tap the pen against my teeth. I make a decision. I add some emphasis and two words:

APPEARSDISORGANIZED--BUT ISN'T.

(Theory: The disembowelment in this case is notindicative of a loss of control. It's a part of his overall message, as is the blood and the daytime attack.) CONCLUSION: PERPETRATOR = ORGANIZED. COMPONENTS THAT

APPEAR DISORGANIZED ARE SIMPLY A PART OF HIS MESSAGE. Occam's razor strikes again. An organized killer can appear disorganized at times. The reverse will not be true. He held himself to a script, demonstrated planning and control and resolve. Organized.

KNOWN CHARACTERISTICS: SOLES OF HIS FEET ARE SCARRED. POSSIBLY A RESULT OF TORTURE (CANING), WHICH IS INDIGENOUS

TO SOUTH AMERICA, THE MIDDLE EAST, SINGAPORE, MALAYSIA, PHILIPPINES.

(Note: Vargas is from Argentina. Coincidence?)

Oh, yeah, I think, sarcastic. Coincidence. You bet. (Note: Unidentified teenage female at Vargas scene had similar scars on her feet. What's the connection here?)

I remember something else from the Kingsley scene. I move back up to where I had written METHODOLOGY and add:

EVIDENCE OF HESITATION CUTS ON MR. AND MRS. KINGSLEY. RESULT OF SEXUAL EXCITEMENT?

Uncertainty is the sign of a novice, a hunter who hasn't calmed down yet or found his stride. This doesn't fit the man I'm seeing in my mind. I don't think he hesitated; I think his hand shook because he was too aroused to control it.

HE PROTECTS THE WOMEN BY CLOSING THEIR EYES, EVEN THOUGH

HE STILL KILLS THEM AND DISEMBOWELS THEM. HE KILLS THE

CHILDREN BUT HE DOESN'T CLOSE THEIR EYES OR DISEMBOWEL

THEM.

I read this paragraph again. And again. Something is tapping on the door of my mind, something that wants to be let in. I am familiar with this feeling and know I need to be quiet and let it come. Why the gradations? Men are worse than women but women are worse than children.

The knocking stops as the door swings wide.

HE HAS BEEN HURT BY MEN. HE HAS NOT BEEN DIRECTLY HARMED BY

WOMEN, BUT LEFT UNPROTECTED BY THEM. BOTH OF THESE THINGS

HAPPENED TO HIM WHEN HE WAS A CHILD.

There is no proof of these conclusions, nothing to put under a microscope or up on a screen, but I know they are correct. I feel it. I feel him.

Men are the object of his fear and his rage. He leaves their eyes open so they can see everything that happens to them. Women die, and deserve it, but there's a nod to tenderness there in the closing of the eyes.

A mother, maybe? Who didn't protect him from an abusive father?

If she was abused by the father as well, the killer would hate her and empathize with her at the same time.

The children aren't mutilated but their eyes are left open so they can see .

See what I did to him, see what the world does to us. The girl at Vargas's apartment was a mix of the two, eyes closed but not disemboweled. Was this a reflection of her age? Almost a woman, still mostly a child? Did this confuse him?

What's it all about? Two sets of murders on back-to-back days. Hatred of men, anger at women, empathy for children. This place = pain. This place = justice . . .

A revelation appears, a rush of wind in my head. I blink at the realization. I write it down.

THIS IS ABOUT REVENGE. REVENGE FOR ACTUAL WRONGS, NOT

IMAGINED ABUSE.

Pain for some, justice for others. Both add up to vengeance. It fits with his victims and methodology.

I consider this, excited.

THIS IS WHY HE COMES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. HE'S SAYING TO

HIS VICTIMS, TO THE OBJECTS OF HIS VENGEANCE, "YOU'RE NOT

SAFE ANYWHERE. I CAN BRING JUSTICE TO YOU EVEN WHEN THE SUN

IS OUT, EVEN IN A HOME SURROUNDED BY STRANGERS."

Because justice is righteous, and the righteous are invincible. He may or may not be gay, but the sexual component isn't in the present, it's in the past. He's getting revenge for abuse that was almost certainly sexual in nature.

Abuse by men.

My building excitement derails as it hits the unexplained. What about Sarah? Why leave her alive and in pain as opposed to killing her? More relevant: Revenge is personal. What is Sarah's connection to him?

I accept that I have no answer for these questions. The rest still feels right.

Vengeance. This is his motivation, this is the reason behind his choice of victim and his method of murder. Sarah is just a puzzle piece I haven't found the fit for yet.

I think some more, decide there's nothing else I can add to this page for now.

Examine his victims.

I grab another page and write across the top:

VICTIM JOSE VARGAS:

FIFTY-EIGHT, ORIGINALLY FROM ARGENTINA.

(Note: Find out how long he's been in the US and how he got here.) BEHAVIORS: EX-CON. VIOLENT OFFENDER, INCLUDING CRIMES

AGAINST CHILDREN.

I consider the obvious connection here. Had Vargas abused the perpetrator?

SUSPECTED OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING SOMETIME IN THE SEVENTIES. MANNER OF DEATH: THROAT WAS CUT. HE WAS DISEMBOWELED

POSTMORTEM.

QUESTION: WAS VARGAS CONNECTED TO EITHER SARAH OR THE

KINGSLEYS IN SOME WAY? OR WAS VARGAS CONNECTED ONLY TO

THE KILLER?

A lack of connection between the two sets of victims would indicate that the killer was finally starting on something he'd been planning for a while and hitting it fast. Making a list, checking it twice . . .

VARGAS APPEARS TO HAVE CONTINUED TO ABUSE MINORS. (FOUND

WITH AN UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE COMPANION WHO WAS NOT OF

AGE.)

I consider the page, set it aside. I grab another and across the top I write:

SARAH KINGSLEY:

ADOPTED DAUGHTER OF DEAN AND LAUREL KINGSLEY (SO WHAT'S

HER REAL LAST NAME?).

SIXTEEN YEARS OLD.

LEFT ALIVE BY THE PERPETRATOR. (WHY?)

SAYS HER BIRTH PARENTS WERE MURDERED. (VERIFY)

ADDENDUM: SAYS HER BIRTH PARENTS WERE MURDERED BY THIS

PERPETRATOR.

ODDITY: CLAIMS THE PERP HAS BEEN STALKING HER FOR YEARS.

I turn my gaze back to the ceiling. Sarah's importance is glaring and obvious. She's the only living witness, and she claims to have knowledge of the perp. She also represents a significant anomaly in the perp's behavior: He didn't kill her. He left her alive as part of his vengeance plan. If what Sarah says is true, he's been at this for a good long while. He's not delusional, he's capable of differentiation of desires, and he's very, very smart. All bad for us. Planned vengeance killers are harder to catch than sexual sadists or ritual murderers. They aren't crazy enough. But why the intimacy?

In vengeance murders, you generally see more anger than joy. It's about destruction. What I had seen at the Kingsleys' was an almost equal balance. The messages on the wall, the disembowelments, these were compelled by rage, they fit. The blood paintings didn't. They were a sexual act. Memories to masturbate to.