“We could cut the lock,” Alan offers.
“No. What if he’s there and watching the entrance? Even if he’s not, what if he comes back while we’re trying to get a warrant, sees that we’ve cut the lock, and bolts?”
“Good point. Then what?”
I use my hand as a visor, scanning the surrounding area. The gas station sits to the right. “What if we cut the lock to the gas station instead?”
We find a hardware store just a block away and buy a pair of bolt cutters. We cut the chain rather than the lock, so we can make it seem as though the fence is still buttoned up tight. “Here goes nothing,” I say. I enter the lot.
I make my way past the side of the station, parallel to the Meet Storage Solutions building, until I reach the back of the lot. I put my face close to the chain-link fence and peer at the concrete structure. I see a roll-up door that’s big enough to let a car through. I turn around, putting it and the fence to my back. I crouch down, trying to get myself to the level I would have been when I was in the trunk. I stare at the sky, searching for certainty. I see nothing I could swear to recognize under oath.
But you know this is the place. Do what’s right.
In my years as an agent, I have always prided myself on the truth that never once have I bent the law to serve my own ends. Searches have always been preceded by a warrant cleanly gotten. Arrests have always included a reading of rights, and those rights have been respected.
What’s a little lie if the plan is to kill him anyway?
Something inside me answers, but I block it out. I walk back to the front of the lot and exit the gate.
“This is the place,” I say. “This is where Dali took me.”
“Goooood,” Callie purrs. “Let’s go get our warrant, my hubby’s team, and a bunch of guns.”
I’m going to voice my agreement when we hear a loud bang, as from a gunshot. Everyone reaches for their weapon.
“That came from the Meet Storage building,” Alan says.
“Sounds like probable cause to me,” I say. “James, cut the lock.”
He doesn’t hesitate—none of them does—and this, if nothing else, gives me pause. I am the leader. The shot caller. We should call it in, ask for backup. Let the guys with the big guns do the job they’re trained for.
Another gunshot goes off, obliterating my doubts. We draw our weapons. Another gunshot.
“Jesus,” Alan mutters. “What if he’s executing prisoners in there?”
“Go!” I say.
James shoves the gate open and we make a beeline for the building’s front door. I try the knob.
“Locked!” I whisper. I wave to the right. “Let’s go around.”
We head at a dead run toward the right side of the building. Sweat runs freely down my scalp. My heart hammers in my chest. My teeth chatter, and I feel cold and hot at the same time.
We get to the roll-up door. “Try it,” I tell James.
He reaches down and, to our surprise, it opens without difficulty.
I recognize the space immediately. My heart does a jig. This is where the darkness came.
“This is where he brought me,” I say. “Entry into the main part of the building is through that door.”
James rushes forward and tries it. Again, it opens without a problem. My finger throbs and, for a moment, I wish I could take a Percocet after all. Bells of alarm clang away in my head.
“Too easy,” I tell James, putting my free hand on his back. “Let’s go slow.”
He frowns back at me. Nods. He takes the lead, entering. I am behind him. Callie and Alan are behind me. We head down the hallway, passing the three doors that I remember, turning right to find the stairs. We climb the stairs until we reach the top. To the right is the door that leads to the hallway my cell was in. To the left is another door.
“Left one,” I whisper.
James opens it and we enter a longer hallway. Doors are on both sides. My stomach churns when I see the padlocks and hasps.
How many? Ten doors on each side? Are they all occupied?
I ignore my nausea and the yammering. We head down the hallway until it turns, and then there are only two doors, one at the end and one on the wall to the right. The doorway to the right is open. James puts a finger to his lips and inches toward it. I smell blood and death, that scent of shit and copper. James enters the room, gun trembling in his hands. I follow. The smells are stronger here.
I almost faint when I see the two tables and the two women there.
This is it. The place where he made me choose.
I lurch forward and vomit. Not because of the women with the fresh bullet holes in their foreheads, but because of the memories. My vision swims, and I stagger to one knee.
“You okay?” Alan whispers.
I can’t respond. I point out to the hallway. We have another room to clear.
Then a sound of another gunshot, the fourth and last, louder this time. James and Callie race out the door toward the other room. I hear a door open and then I hear nothing. I force myself to ignore the flashing white lights behind my eyes. The meadow calls, maybe my baby is there waiting, but now is not the time. I walk out of the room on unsteady legs. The other door has been flung wide.
“What is it?” I call out. “Is everyone okay?”
“Come and see,” Callie calls back softly. “Come and see.”
I enter the room with my head and finger throbbing. It’s a large room, made into an office. It’s stark. The floor is uncarpeted, the walls bare and unpainted. A single file cabinet sits next to a cheap faux-wood desk. There’s a computer monitor on the desk. A man is there too. His brains are splashed on the wall behind him.
“Coward,” James mutters. “He must have known we were coming.” He sounds frustrated. I understand. I wanted to kill Dali too.
“What about it?” Callie asks. “Do you recognize any part of him?”
I lean forward. I see an obliterated forehead above a set of surprised eyes and a slack mouth. I put him in his late forties to early fifties. His hair is in a crew cut, and it’s a semi-handsome but mostly unremarkable face. All of these things fit, except for perhaps the most important thing: the thing I saw and kept to myself. I wasn’t sure why I did it, before. Now I do.
“Yes,” I say. “That’s him. That’s Dali.”
It’s a lie, but that’s okay. I think I understand everything now.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

We sit in my living room, Tommy, Kirby, and I. Bonnie is being watched by Alan and Elaina for a few days. They think it’s to give me time to recover from everything that’s happened. The truth is that it’s to give me time to do what must be done.
“He knew you were coming because he was tracking the GPS chip in your phone,” Tommy says. “The techs didn’t find anything when they checked out your phone because there was nothing to find. He just locked on the signal and kept an eye out. A little reverse telemetry gave us what we need.”
Kirby examines me with an unreadable gaze as she cracks her gum. “You sure about this, boss lady? I have no problem with it, but this is new territory for you.” She nods a head at Tommy. “And you.”
“I’m sure,” I reply.
Tommy says nothing.
“Okeydokey,” Kirby says, grinning. “Let’s saddle up.”
Eric Kellerman. That is the name of the man with the obliterated forehead. He was forty-eight years old. He was an orphan, adopted by no one but the city, put out to pasture when he was eighteen. There’s not much after that but an excess of evidence.
His fingerprints matched the unknowns that were inside the body bags. Videos and photographs of the car accidents were found at the Los Angeles location, along with some poetry he’d written about how watching a car crash was better than having sex with any woman. There was a trunk containing over fifty thousand dollars in cash. Finally, in a desk drawer, held inside a plastic bag covered with his fingerprints, was the severed end of my own finger. It was all incontrovertible.
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