Dewey Lambdin - The French Admiral

"Damn you to hell, Avery," Railsford snapped, his mouth screwed up as though he were chewing the words. "Damn your black soul to hell."

"Aye, aye, sir," David replied, thoroughly abashed and realizing just how bad it was if Railsford, normally the most forgiving and understanding officer he had, was vexed at him.

"And you, Mister Lewrie." Railsford spun on him. "Very stupid, I must say, Mister Lewrie!"

"Aye, aye, sir," Alan said, ready to be bent over a gun and given a dozen of the bosun's best as punishment. "But we did…"

"Silence!" Railsford roared. He stroked his lean jaws, perhaps to keep from turning his hands into fists. "I heard from the sergeant of the watch what happened. I have told the captain about the particulars, but he is… remarkably exercised about this. Whatever I could say to you shall most likely pale in comparison to what Captain Treghues shall say. Get you aft to his cabins at once, gentlemen!"

"Aye, aye, sir."

They followed Railsford below to the private companion-way to their lord and master's chambers. A marine sentry in red uniform and white crossbelts was there, and was it Alan's imagination, or did he glare at them a little more evilly than most marines regarded midshipmen, and did he bang his musket butt on the deck with a little more enthusiasm and bellow their names to the waiting captain behind the door more loudly than usual?

"Enter!" Treghues yelled back.

They entered the captain's quarters, a fairly spacious stretch of deck in the stern of the upper gun deck, went past the coach where their captain dined, past the chart room and the berth space, and met their judge and jury seated at his desk in the day cabin. He had on his best uniform, and a black expression—a devilish black expression.

He's so purple in the face he looks already hanged, Alan marveled as he came to attention before the desk. He had no sense of guilt for following his baser nature and had not provoked the fight with their assailants, but he was trembling with unease to be facing his captain in such a mood.

"So," Treghues said. Their captain was young and handsome, slim and manly and noble looking, as an aristocrat should be. In better times, he might have made a jolly companion, as long as one preferred hymn-singing and tea instead of caterwauling in the streets. But in the light of the swaying coin-silver lamps, he looked the very Devil incarnate, the sort of man one should rightly fear.

"That will be all, Mister Railsford," Treghues said, as though a curtain had fallen on his anger. "The tide shall slack four hours from now, and you shall stand ready to get the ship under way at that time. I shall inform you as to their punishment."

"Aye, aye, sir," Railsford said, departing, evidently hoping to be allowed to stay to partake of their chastisement, if only to savor the sharper bits.

"So, my two prize wretches have decided to return to us," he said after Railsford had gone. "After they had slaked their vile lusts to the full. Stuffed yourselves to bursting with food, did you?"

"Aye, sir," David ventured in a small voice. "It was my birthday…"

"Gluttony!" Treghues roared, back in his original demeanor, as when they had first entered. "Pigs-at-trough Gluttony, rolling about in your slops like Babylonian Pagans!"

We're going to catch Old Testament Hell, thought Alan.

"Washed it down with oceans of beer and wine, too, did you?" the captain continued, sitting prim behind his glossy desk with his hands on the surface, folded as in supplication for their salvation, even if he did privately consider them demon-spawn. "Got rolling drunk like some godless wretches in Gin Lane! Visited a house of prostitution, I'm told! Spent hours spending , weakening yourselves forever, risking the vilest diseases in the perfumed arms of… of… the Devil himself in disguise!"

"Uh, we did not get drunk, sir," Alan offered, considering that charge at least to be baseless; he could own up to the rest with pleasure.

"Did you not, sir!" Treghues said, slapping a hand on the mahogany with the crash of a six-pounder cannon. "You stand there swaying back and forth, barely in control of yourselves, reduced to the level of animals… reeking of putrefaction and… and… you dare to sass me?"

"No, sir!" Alan said quickly.

"The moment my back was turned, you gulled the first lieutenant to allow you to go ashore, knowing I would have not permitted it under any circumstances, inveigled your way into the purser's working party and took as your shield your own compatriot, used Mister Avery as an excuse to take all the pleasure you could gather!"

"It was my birthday, sir," David said, but not with much hope.

"And is that a reason to fall into the gutter with this poor example of a miscreant, vile, swaggering, crowing cock? I had better hopes for you, Mister Avery. I thought you were a Godfearing young man from a good family, and the moment I withdrew my gaze from you, you let Lewrie lead you astray into the swine pen as though you wished to join the Prodigal Son in his depravity and debauchery."

Try making an answer to that, why don't you, David, Alan thought to himself, amazed at Treghues's speech. Damme if David ain't going to get off with a tongue-lashing, and the real thunder'll be saved for me.

"Well?" Treghues demanded.

"Sir, I asked to go ashore, and I requested Mister Lewrie to go as my companion because he is my friend," David finally said, after gnawing on the inside of his mouth for a long moment. "It was my idea, all of it."

"You take as a friend a caterwauling dissembler who would force himself on his own blood? Then I tell you truly, Mister Avery, you are damned to eternal perdition unless you change your ways, and that right smartly! Well, that is the last time I shall allow either of you ashore for any reason except the good of our Service until I have decided that you have mended your ways and become the sort of Christian Englishmen I would like to have as midshipmen under me."

Treghues stopped, took a deep breath, and sipped at a pewter mug of something. Tea, most like, Alan decided. Whatever it was, it seemed to calm him down, for he leaned back in his chair and almost, but not quite, made a smile—which was more frightening to them than anything they had seen as of yet.

"You both wanted shore leave. You both wanted to partake in all the sordidness this miserable town has to offer," he told them, and found no disagreement from either midshipman. "Then, on your way back, you fought with a party of men and killed two of them and wounded another. You both brought discredit on our Service, our uniform, and our ship. Ten days' salt meat and ship's rations—no duffs, no spirits, no rum issue, no tobacco. Ten days' watch and watch duty. And a dozen each from the bosun."

"Aye, aye, sir," David said, letting out a sigh of relief. It could have been a lot worse.

"Aye, aye, sir," Alan said. He had spent nearly two years being deprived and degraded in the Navy; he could do ten days' minor deprivation standing on his head in the crosstrees.

"And, to improve your souls, you shall, when off watch, come to my cabins and read aloud a chapter of the Holy Bible each day. That, you shall continue to perform until this ship pays off her commission." Treghues spoke with finality.

"Aye, aye, sir."

"Now get out of here and give my compliments to the bosun as soon as you can find him. I shall be listening." Treghues pointed to the open skylight over his cabins.

Once on deck, David gave a little groan.

"Go in peace, the service is ended," Alan whispered, removing his hat and mopping his brow. "Christ, what an asylum this ship is!"

"Well, the more we cry, the less we'll piss," David said.

"Speaking of." Alan sighed. "Bosun! Passing the word for the bosun!"