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Edward Lee: Family Tradition

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Edward Lee Family Tradition

Family Tradition: краткое содержание, описание и аннотация

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Edward Lee and John Pelan have cooked up yet another tasty treat. They will whet your appetite with a delectable trip to the Pacific Northwest in search of the rare Crackjaw Eel. This romp through the woods is flavored with inbred rednecks, sauced with generous helpings of sex, and topped with an ending that’s sure to have food critics raving the world over. Only those with strong stomachs and a taste for heavy spice should attempt this meal. In FAMILY TRADITION, Lee and Pelan show that there are far more terrible things lurking in the rain forests of the Pacific Northwest than amphetamine-crazed rednecks...secrets man was not meant to sample. Indulge yourself and enjoy the sumptuous haute cuisine served up by these two masters of guerilla gastronomic outrage. Not only will you think twice before visiting the woods again, you just might never look at food in quite the same way. From the duo that brought you Goon, Shifters, and the cult favorite Splatterspunk, FAMILY TRADITION is a feast of the senses that is best devoured before it devours you. Enjoy the grub!

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But it wasn’t quite empty, was it?

No.

The boat contained two piles of human innards.

— | — | —

Chapter Twelve

Esau had found Darren wandering around the north shore, babbling inanely, of course, and still covered with shit. “Got’cha, fella!” Esau had exclaimed upon the capture. “Fun time’s over!”

“Frab-blab-yoo-hlab!” Darren objected.

Esau drew his buck knife cleanly through the tendons behind each of Darren’s knees, and that put an end to any further jaunts. The fact that the boy was still enslimed in his own fecal matter didn’t faze Esau in the least. His hands were used to fecal matter. He merely flipped the boy over his back and tromped back to the prep shack.

“There ya go, Fattie,” Enoch was saying, having just dragged Bob into the shack too.

“Hey, brother!” Esau greeted. “Lookit what I found!” He flopped Darren down onto a wood table; speckles of shit flew off of him at the impact.

“Ya found him,” Enoch grunted approval. “But what about that skinny girl?”

“Ain’t found her yet, Enoch. But I’se kin tell ya, she cain’t get far.”

“You better hope so, boy.”

Esau grinned. “Did’ja find my surprise?”

“Say what?”

“The surprise I left for ya! A right purdy blondie, she is.” Then Esau turned up one of the oil lamps, illuminating the corner of the shack.

There hung Carol, blanked-faced in her compounded horror, her big tits pushing out her top.

Enoch scowled. “Aw, boy, ya dang know I don’t wanna fuck gals.”

Esau proudly walked over to the wall, flipped up Carol’s denim skirt.

“Look like a gal to you?” he asked.

Enoch’s gaze peeled. “Ya don’t say? Dang!”

“All fer you, my good brother! Take a look at that dick on this bitch!”

Enoch was taking a look, all right, and giving his crotch a rub ta boot. “And not a hair on it,” he remarked.

“No, sir. She—er he, er whatever—ain’t even got a hair in her ass-crack. Not a single one! I’se looked!”

“Shee-it, I gots ta have me some of this,” Enoch informed, unbuckling the shoulder straps of his overalls.

“And I see you done fetched Bob,” Esau said, noticing the obese, unconscious man on the table.

“The fat dumbass stepped on the blammed tarp we got coverin’ the pit. I hauled him out, brung his fat ass here.” Enoch hocked on the dirt floor. “Take care’a that skinny kid while I put the blocks to this big-tit bitch with a cock.”

It didn’t take him long. From the place which she’d been efficiently nailed to the wall, Enoch pushed Carol’s knees back to her shoulders.

Meanwhile, Esau walked not to Darren but to Bob, inquisitive at the newest capture. He slammed the man’s head repeatedly against the tabletop. The warning was redundant, however; their captive was obviously not in any condition to go anywhere. Blood streamed down the side of his face from a cut on his head, the cut centered in the midst of a rapidly swelling lump the size of a halved pear. Close to the same time, Carol revived, twisting and struggling to pull free of the nails which affixed her hands to the wall, squirming in a desperate effort to see if Bob was, in fact, still alive.

“Bob!” she screamed. “Bob!”

Enoch licked the side of her face as she struggled. His breath stank as though he’d been eating roadkill.

Carol began to sob again as she felt her knees being pushed farther back, blood welling slowly from her ruined hands. It was useless to try to pull free; the slightest motion filled her with nauseating waves of pain.

Enoch spit in his palm and lubricated his organ. Carol felt pressure, then a blinding, rending pain as he forced himself into her, so startled by the pain was she that both bowel and bladder voided simultaneously.

“Damn!” roared Enoch as he pulled out with a wet squishing sound. “Lookit that, that nasty he-bitch just shit and pissed all over me!”

“Dang, she shore shits a lot,” Esau said, plying Bob’s face like fresh sourdough. “That’s what she was doin’ when I’se caught her—takin’ a big shit in the woods. She left a dang pile , she did.”

To emphasize his complaints, Enoch ran his hand up the crack of Carol’s ass, brushing her flaccid cock and balls aside.

Carol tried to wrench her head back, but he’d grabbed a handful of hair and twisted it around his hand so that she was unable to move. The stench of her own shit made her retch as he wiped his hand off in her long blond hair. “I don’t like this he-bitch,” Enoch complained next. “I’ll fuck that fat ’un there on the table. Meantime—” his eyes flicked toward Carol. “Cut this one’s peter off.”

Esau amusedly shook his head. “Ya know, Enoch, I was thinkin’ ’bout that earlier. Thought maybe it’d be better to cut it out instead’a cuttin’ it off. I’se got cookin’ ta do, and there ain’t nothin’ better than a whole set of a guy’s works on the grill. Ya cut the whole thing out from the root. Watch me.”

Enoch had little interest in watching his brother’s skills. Instead he yanked Bob’s slacks off, spread his fat, log-like legs, and sunk his genitals right deep up Bob’s back-end.

“Yeah, there ya go,” Enoch grunted, humping on the table. The table bowed.

Bob regained consciousness a rather hasty fashion, screaming like a truck horn.

“Sorry, fella,” Esau sniggered at Carol, “but my Grandpa likes a wiener roast just like anyone,” and he drew a sharp boning knife very quickly up Carol’s perineum, two fast swipes upward at an angle, one side, then the next. A few more slices along the top and around the scrotum, and he was removing the entirety of Carol’s very male genitalia from the base of the root. Carol gargled her horror, flipped and flopped against the bare wood wall, feet kicking madly. The blood flooded from her newly carved groin.

“That’s it,” Esau said with pride, holding up the cleanly severed works. “Think I’ll marinate it in some yakisoba sauce fer an hour or so.” He tossed the cock and balls into a plastic bucket..

“And those big ol’ titties?” he celebrated. “They’ll come in handy later!”

Enoch’s big body remained atop of Bob’s back, pumping and pumping, while Bob was puking and puking. “Yeah, boy, I’se kin tell ya had it up the ass before. Guess yer one’a them queer-boy city faggots, huh? Yeah…” Enoch pumped harder and harder, then buckled and came. And he came, it should be added, in considerable volume. “Cain’t help the last part, Tubby,” he said through a chuckle. “See, I’se a little different.”

By now, of course, it didn’t matter much to Bob; he was already unconscious again and suffering from horrendous internal bleeding. So the revelation was moot.

When Enoch withdrew his “cock” from Bob’s rectal vault, this same withdrawal pulled something out along with it: most of Bob’s large intestine.

It lay there between his spread legs like a fat coil of dark dough. The reason that Enoch had been able to yank out Bob’s lower g.i. tract with his penis was fairly simple when one calculated the most obvious point: Enoch’s “cock” was a bit more than that.

It was a tentacle, red-tipped and complete with suckers. Several feet long in its excited state. In this case, it was a diminutive egress in the tip from which Enoch pissed and ejaculated. And just as Esau had only one testicle, Enoch had none. His spermatic ducts were internal, just like that of an octopus.

Both brothers, in other words, were genetic freaks, in varying stages of evolution. Esau had something more semblant of a dick—however lumpen—Enoch had something a bit more close to his chromosomal home.

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