Edward Lee - The Black Train

“You see! You see!” railed the clerk out front. “Ignorant, silly man won’t listen! You—how you say? Kiss my ass!”

Collier wanted to run back to the car.

“Yes! Yes—oh, look, now silly, ignorant camel’s ass of a man is getting into car painted woman’s color!” He cracked out accented laughter. “And I see your show on your stupid American television and is—how you say? Piece of SHIT!”

Collier didn’t say a word. He simply got into the Day-Glo green vehicle and drove away.

He didn’t go to the airport. It seemed overreactive to just bug off. He’d stay one more night, check out properly, and say good-bye to Dominique.

Which only left his fears…

Back in town, he checked every other hotel and bed-and-breakfast: no vacancies. He didn’t even hesitate to admit it now: I’d really prefer NOT to spend another night in that haunted-to-the-max mansion. He supposed he could sleep in the car. Or…

Maybe Dominique would let me spend my last night at her place…

A much more promising idea, but would she go for it? Did she trust him to respect her celibacy?

Collier didn’t dwell on it, or anything else. Sute’s final revelations about what had happened in room three back in 1862 packed too much of a wallop. Maybe Mrs. Butler could give him another room for his final night. The memory of Sute’s daguerreotype only added weight to his decision not to return to the room…

Do I really believe in ghosts? he asked himself.

It was going on five o’clock now. Dominique’ll be on duty soon. When he next checked his phone, the lights came on, but the screen read NO SIGNAL. I could go back to the inn, call Shay from there, he knew, but when he pulled into the parking lot, the house seemed to grimace back at him.

Damn.

Did he hear a dog barking when he got out of the Bug? His gut clenched.

It seemed to come from down the hill, where the creek coursed through the woods.

Collier walked in the opposite direction, into town…When he passed the bank, he saw Jiff standing in line, evidently to deposit another check. Collier could guess whom the check was from, and for what.

Collier walked quickly, so not to be seen. He followed Penelope Street to the main drag and pushed into the sudden coolness of Cusher’s. He took a stool at the half-filled bar.

“Hi, Mr. Collier!” the St. Pauli Girl barmaid greeted. “How’s your stay so far?”

“Fine, but it looks like I’ll be going home tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” She put a pint of lager before him. “That’s on the house. And congratulations!”

“Congratulations for what?”

“Come on, don’t be so modest.” She winked, then hustled to some other customers.

What the HELL is going on now? Within seconds three housewife tourists appeared and apologetically pleaded for autographs. One put a hand on his thigh and whispered, “You really ARE the sexiest man on the Food Network…” and another whispered, “If my husband wasn’t here, I’d wear you out.”

Then Collier got it. Shay wasn’t jiving me. Obviously the news was out about the viewer survey. His eyes followed the housewives—all attractive and well built—but turned away when he saw several husbands scowling back.

Collier didn’t care. He had to decide what he was going to do.

“Is Dominique in yet?” he asked the barmaid.

“She’s running late, said she had a problem at her condo.”

A problem at Dominique’s condo?

He sipped his beer and tried to relax. How late is she going to be? When he looked up at the television in the corner, he saw Savannah Sammy basting a brisket. How’s it feel to be number four, you two-faced Jersey slickster?

Collier’s belly growled for food but every time he thought of asking for a menu, his mind recalled the nightmare: his bedroom door kicked in, the dog running out, and…the stench. He was glad the dream hadn’t shown him the details Sute had only verbalized. He tried to divert himself; without thinking he’d taken the old railroad checks out of his pocket and began looking at them. Some guy named Fecory filled these out almost 150 years ago. The paper felt so fine, so thin.

Sute thinks these things are contracts with the devil…

He got a chill and put them away. He didn’t notice that the check on the bottom had been signed by Fecory but otherwise remained blank.

Am I going to sit here all day? Whenever he looked to the TV, he winced. When the barmaid walked by, he flagged her. “Miss? You said Dominique had a problem at her condo? What’s the problem?”

She leaned forward on her elbows, highlighting the bosom. “Contractors or something. She forgot about them when she took the food to the shelter in Chattanooga.”

“Did she say when she’s coming in?”

“Soon, she said, didn’t give a time.”

“Oh.” He sighed. “With my luck it won’t be for hours.” As soon as he’d said it, he was spun around and kissed on the lips.

“Hi, sorry I’m late,” Dominique told him. “I didn’t have your cell number so I couldn’t call you.”

“I heard something happened at your condo.”

“The association tents the building every couple years—fumigators—and I forgot they were doing it today. So I had to rush back, seal all my cabinets, and get out. Can’t go back for twenty-four hours.”

Collier realized only then that he was clinging to her, arms around her waist.

“I really like it when you hug me,” she giggled, “but if you don’t let go, I can’t do my work.”

“Oh, right—”

“And congratulations: sexiest man on television.”

“Just on the Food Network.”

“I don’t know about that.” She kissed him again and slipped away.

Collier felt forlorn watching after her. Yeah, I’ve got it bad …But her condo closed till tomorrow nixed the possibility of him staying the night with her. I am NOT spending another night by myself in room three, he knew. He also knew that what he felt for Dominique, he’d never felt for any other woman in his life. A revelation socked home: Dominique had a lot of virtue, while he…didn’t. She makes me see my real self. But I don’t like what I see and I want to be different. Dominique makes me want to be a better person…

Was is that simple? Collier felt confident.

A better revelation: I could’ve gotten it on with Lottie last night but I didn’t because I wanted to be faithful to a girl who’ll NEVER sleep with me. His finger tapped the bar. That’s GOT to mean something.

Dominique returned. “You should try tonight’s special. It kicks butt.”

“What is it?”

“Country-fried squid steak with curry tartar.”

“Maybe, uh, next time.” He reached across and grabbed her hand, instantly realizing a solution. “Since you can’t get into your condo tonight, you should stay with me at the inn.”

She looked relieved. “I was hoping you’d ask.”

Collier stalled. “So that means…yes?”

“Of course—” Her eyes shot to the door. “Oh, I have to go seat this four-top.”

She pulled away but Collier didn’t let go. “So that means you trust me now?”

She laughed. “If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be staying with you tonight. You know what won’t be happening, so it must not bother you—”

“It doesn’t,” he said before he could think.

“Look, I have to go seat these people! I’m the boss, remember?” She whisked away.

Her body’s outline in the apron was killing him, and whenever she appeared behind the bar to get something, her cross glittered on her bosom. Collier felt so skewed. I have to go back to L.A. tomorrow, but I’m sitting here fantasizing about having a relationship with a Christian celibate…