Amanda Bonilla - Shaedes of Gray - A Shaede Assassin Novel

“What about the Lyhtans?” I asked. “Do they have a leader who’s been kicked from his throne or something like that?”

“They don’t generally live that way,” Levi explained. “Lyhtans are wild, lawless. They’re solitary. Every once in a while you’ll find them moving in packs, groups not much larger than ten. There’s no real leadership hierarchy, no pecking order. They don’t follow.”

I looked at Ty and gave a silent shake of my head. We weren’t getting anywhere.

“Have you heard of a Shaede who is banding the Lyhtans together?” I asked Levi. “Named Azriel.” And did I mention I need to kill the bastard?

“I have,” he said. “Like I said, they don’t usually follow, so this Shaede must be promising the world to get them on board for his campaign.”

“What do Lyhtans want?” I asked. “What could he use as a bargaining chip?”

“They’re tired of hiding,” Levi said. “They want to be more like you.”

Acceptance . That’s what the Lyhtans wanted more than anything. They wanted to blend in with the human population and pass as something close to normal.

“How?” I asked no one in particular. “How could he promise that? How does he think he’ll give that to them?”

“Who knows?” Tyler chimed in. “It could be just a bunch of lies he’s telling them to string them along. Otherwise, we’re in for a shit storm of trouble.”

“Because they’re nasty fuckers,” Levi added. “If they can come and go as they please, blend in with the general population, they’ll cause all sorts of chaos.”

Tyler and I exchanged a knowing glance. “Is there any Lyhtan who might not like that?” I said.

“I’m not sure,” Levi said. “I can look into it—for a nominal fee—but I would think they’d all be pretty excited by the prospect. If there’s anything to find out here, I’ll find it.”

We left, no better informed than we’d been when we entered. Frustration built up inside me like bubbles against a champagne cork. I wanted to kill something, just so I had an outlet to vent my anger. Ever the voice of reason, Tyler discouraged me from violence, convincing me it would only be counterproductive. It would’ve been in his best interest to keep his mouth shut. He was still pretty high up on my shit list, and I could just as easily release my anger on him as anyone.

Tyler made himself at home on my couch while I changed for another training session. My anger had been mounting, and I’d continued to suppress it. Much easier to do when we weren’t alone. But, damn it, it pissed me off that the one person I trusted had pulled the wool over my eyes. The more I thought about it, the more my blood began to boil. Now was as good a time as any to broach the subject of Ty’s true nature. In fact, I’d put it off for far too long.

“How does this work?” I asked, lacing up my boot. Keep it nonchalant. Don’t bite his head off. “Delilah said you’re bonded with me. What the hell does that entail?”

The twinkling light faded from Tyler’s eyes and his mouth tightened into a fine line. Apparently, he wanted to discuss this just as much as I did. “Can’t you just accept that I want to protect you and leave it at that?”

Um, no. If one more person tried to keep me in the dark, he was going to lose his head. “You mean just eat every spoon-fed bite of your bullshit? No, thanks. I think I’ve had my fill.”

“Darian—”

“Do you think I’m stupid? Weak? Incompetent?” My ire rose with every word. “Do you have any idea how humiliated I feel? Five years! Five fucking years I’ve known you. And you let me act like a complete fool. You knew there were others. Shit, you were one of them ! Why didn’t you just tell me? Did you get off on seeing me alone and disconnected from everything? I threatened you, for Christ’s sake! I called you human , like it was a dirty word or something.”

Tyler’s eyes held mine, showing a depth of emotion I was afraid to believe. “I was trying to protect you.”

“Oh, really? From what? And did you ever think about asking if I wanted your protection? No. You just bound yourself to me .”

“Darian, with Jinn, the urge to protect is like instinct. But with you, I feel the need twice as strong. And you, being the tough girl you think you are—there’s no way in hell you would have submitted to the binding and let me become the protector that I had to be. You’ve always thought you could take care of yourself with no help from anyone. So I hid behind a normal-guy persona. I did what I had to do. It was beyond selfish of me, but I refuse to apologize. Yes, I kept the supernatural world from you. There are bigger and more dangerous things than Lyhtans and Shaedes in the world. And you would’ve taken them all on. Single-handedly. I couldn’t risk your safety. I knew if I kept you focused on humans and human business, you’d be relatively safe.”

I wanted to hate him right then but I couldn’t. I did feel safe and protected when I was with him. And something deeper still. He’d been my lifeline to the world, even though Azriel’s teachings had dictated I remain detached. Tyler had my back, no matter what. And I knew he’d never disappear in the middle of the night without a word. That was worth more than my anger and frustration. He didn’t deserve an ass-chewing, but he took it—because he knew it would make me feel better.

“There are rules to this binding.” All the fire had left me, and nothing remained but smoldering embers. “I know that much. And I want to know what they are.”

“Okay.” Tyler’s voice, soft and husky, sent chills dancing across my skin. “In my lifetime, I can only choose to form a bond three times. I can choose to create the bond, but you have to choose to break it. Once it is broken, it can never be remade.”

Three times. I wondered if he’d done this before. He was older than Delilah, and she’d been walking the earth for at least a thousand years. Could I perhaps have been lucky number three? “What about the wishes?” I abandoned my humiliation, the anger. We’d had it out and it was time to move on. Besides, Raif was going to kill me if I was late. I slid a dagger into the sheath at my thigh and another into my boot. “How do those work?”

“There’s a moral code, more or less. Even I can’t change some things. You can only wish for something you need, never for something you simply want.” Tyler stretched out his hand, counting points on his fingers as he spoke, “You can’t wish someone dead—or alive. And you can’t wish for wealth. Extra abilities are out of the question as well, like flying or breathing underwater. I can’t alter the paths Fate and nature have chosen for you.”

That little statement earned a snort of derision from me, but Tyler continued, ignoring my sarcasm.

“You are forbidden from wishing away the bonds between others, and I cannot grant you love.” His eyes burned into mine when he said it, and I averted my glance, afraid of what else he might say. “The timeline can’t be altered, but I suppose that falls in line with fate. You could never wish to change the outcome of any event. And I can’t give you what someone else has. But I can swear to do my best to help you if you need it, and vow to protect you until you no longer need my protection.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? God, Ty, how could you do that?”

The look of shame that flashed across his face helped to further cool my fiery emotions. “I wanted to tell you. So many times. But I was afraid you’d bolt if you knew the truth. I didn’t want to be the one to disillusion you.”

“You did, though,” I said. “Just like the rest of them.”