She struggled to do just that. When she met his gaze, it was like looking at the calm blue of the ocean. She loved how they sparkled, how they made her feel at peace. “You’re doing good,” he encouraged. Just as suddenly as the spell came on, it was over. However, her heart raced, and her throat was drier than the Sahara. “I think I’ll have that juice now,” she panted. “Sure.” William hopped up and went to get it for her.
Meanwhile, Josie calmed down and gathered herself. “Do you know how much longer I’m going to have to put up with this?” she asked, just as he returned.
“Well, it’s different for everyone.”
She accepted the glass and drained nearly the whole thing in one gulp.
“I better get you some more.” He left and returned with the whole carton. “I have you on methadone right now,” he said. “I’ll give you another shot after breakfast.” She reached for the carton. “I’ll pour it for you,” he said. “I can do it,” she snapped. William held up his hands in surrender as she refilled her glass. She immediately felt silly. “I’m sorry.” “It’s not a problem.” After she’d quenched her thirst, she asked the most prominent question that came to mind. “What is methadone?”
“A narcotic pain reliever.” William grabbed a chair and set it next to her. “It’s generally used for maintenance for drug detox. Your body developed a dependency to the narcotics that were pumped into your system. The pain you’re experiencing is your body’s way of demanding the drugs. Methadone helps you with that pain.”
Narcotics? “What exactly were they giving me at that place?”
“At Keystone you were given pretty high doses of lithium. Your last toxicology reports also showed Tegretol and Depakote, which are used when a person shows resistance to lithium. Before you were admitted to Keystone blood test showed traces of Prozac, heroin, you name it. You were a walking time bomb.” “What?” Her jaw slackened. “Why in the hell were they giving me all of that? I don’t recognize half of those drugs.” He hesitated. “The lithium was still being administered because they thought you were Michelle.” Josie lowered her gaze. William braided his hands together. “What do you about your sister?”
Josie sighed. “The question is what do I know about Michelle that’s true. ”
“Okay, let’s start there. Lithium is usually prescribed to patients for a wide range of things: bipolar disorders, manic depression, and even those with chemical imbalances.” He gave her a few seconds for the information to sink in. “It’s too bad you don’t know anything about your biological parents. A lot of times, these things are genetic.” “So, Michelle…?” “…has a long history of mental illness.” He stood and returned to the kitchen. Josie wiped a stray tear from her eyes. “Just because someone struggled with mental illness doesn’t mean they’re evil.”
William returned and placed all he’d prepared onto the table. “Michelle might be the exception to the rule. I’ve been reading Michelle’s medical chart, and it isn’t pretty. Given the circumstance, you’re more than welcome to read it for yourself. My big question is how she managed to pull off this whole switcheroo.” Josie placed her elbows on the table and lowered her head into the palms of her hands. “I’m getting a migraine.” “You still get those?” She gave him a sad laugh. “As far back as I can remember.” “Well, let’s get something into your stomach. Who knows, maybe you’re just hungry.”
She nodded and was grateful when plates were brought to the table. Minutes later, she had a little bit of everything piled in front of her. She undoubtedly looked like a pig, but she was way past caring. It had to be the best meal she’d ever tasted.
Josie moaned in ecstasy with each bite while she started to believe that she could quite possibly devour everything that he’d set on the table.
William, however, leaned back in his chair and sipped coffee. “As flattered as I am about you enjoying the meal, I’d feel better if you’d slowed down and take your time.”
She nodded, but couldn’t do it.
“How about we talk about Michelle some more,” he said, seeking to slow her down through conversation. “How long did she stay with you before…?”
“Before I lost my mind?” she finished for him.
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“It’s the only way to put it.” She leaned back and took a slow sop of her orange juice. “My father’s funeral was June 20 of last year. That was the first time I’d ever laid eyes on my sister.”
“How did she find you?”
Josie set her glass down and drew a deep breath. “She said that about a month before my father’s death, a friend of hers brought her an old jazz CD of mine and commented how much we looked alike. From there, she claimed that she did some research on the Internet and was able to find my bio.”
“Your biography mentioned your parents?”
She nodded. “And where I was from. So later when my father’s death made one of the papers, she figured it was the best opportunity to meet me.”
“It just fell into her lap. How convenient.” Disgust dripped from his voice.
“It seemed innocent enough, plus I’d just lost the last family member I had, so I guess I leapt at the possibility of discovering another one.” Josie shrugged as her gaze fell to her empty plate. “No one wants to be alone.”
An uncomfortable silence fell over the table, and Josie regretted sharing so much.
When he, at last, reached across the table and took her hand, she was surprised by the comfort his touch gave. So much so that she was humbled by it. “Don’t beat yourself up,” he said gently. “You did what anyone in your position would have done.” She wasn’t sure if she agreed. “Okay, so you met her at the funeral and then what?”
Josie removed her hand from his to reach for more bacon. “Well, both of us always knew that were adopted, but had no idea that we were twins or had been separated, so we tried to research our adoptions.” She shrugged again. “Who knows, maybe there were other siblings.”
William studied her over the rim of his coffee mug and pretended that his heart didn’t tug at her forlorn expression. “Were there?” “Our adoption records are sealed.” She reached for the biscuits. “Apparently our biological parents don’t want to be found.” He lowered his cup. “I’m sorry.” She refused to meet his eyes. “Josie, you know you didn’t do anything wrong?” She grew still. Too still.
William’s gaze narrowed. Is there something that she’s not telling me? The silence became deafening before he probed gently. “Josie?” A tear raced from her lashes, but she quickly wiped it away. “I know you,” he said. “You’re not to blame for any of this. You have to know that.” “I’ve got take something for my head,” she moaned.
He sighed with relief. She wasn’t keeping something from him; it was another migraine. “Let’s get you that shot first. It should also help with your headaches.” Josie shook her head. “I need some Tylenol or morphine. Something. I don’t feel too good.” He rushed back to her side. “Are you feeling nauseous?” Josie frowned and clutched her stomach again. “Yes…no….I don’t know. I-I think I just need to lie down.” “Sounds like you’re experience withdrawal symptoms. If you let me, I’ll help you upstairs.” She nodded and allowed him to loop an arm around her.
Minutes later, Josie sat still while William administered the methadone, then instructed her to lie down. When she was finally alone, guilt churned in her belly. She had to get out there…and soon.
Images she had long tried to suppress sharpened into focus. She saw Michelle’s boyfriend, Daniel, and could still feel the weight of a gun in her hand. He never looked at her. Never knew what she was about to do. Josie lifted the gun as if she was in a trance, aimed, and fired a single shot in the center of his chest. “Oh my God,” Josie turned and sobbed into her pillow. “What have I done?”
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