Joe Lansdale: Dead in the West

A hinge creaked, went silent. Now there was only the sound of the stage team snorting and a distant roll of thunder beyond the gray-black, East Texas woodlands.

I

THE REVEREND

BUT HE KNOWETH NOT THAT THE DEAD ARE THERE.

— PROVERBS 9:18

H e had come down out of the high country: a long, lean preacher man covered in dust, riding a buckskin mare with an abscessed back, a wound made by hard riding and saddle friction against dust and hide.

Both man and horse looked ready to drop.

The man was dressed in black from boots to hat, save for a dusty white shirt and the silver glitter of a modified .36 colt Navy revolver in his black sash waist band. His face, like many men of the Word, was hard and stern. But there was something definitely unGodlike about the man. He had the cool, blue eyes of a cold killer—the eyes of a man who had seen the elephant and seen it well.

In his own way, he was a killer.

Men had dropped before the blast of his .36 Navy, their last vision being thick, black smoke curling upwards from the mouth of his shiny revolver.

But in the Reverend's eyes, to his way of thinking, each had been in need of the sword stroke, and it had been God's will. And he, Jebidiah Mercer, had been the Lord's avenging hand. Or at least it seemed that way at the time.

As Jeb often told his tent congregation: "Brethren, I kill sin. I am the good right arm of the Lord, and I kill sin."

And there were the times when he did not feel so righteous. But he had learned to put these thoughts aside, swamp them with his own interpretation of God's word.

It was the break of day, and as Jeb rode—slowly— wearily—toward Mud Creek, morning slipped in on the breath of a cool wind as the birds sang in symphony.

Stopping on a velvet-green rise of grass above the town, Jeb—like some saint from on high—looked down. Down on clapboard buildings lined on either side by thick forest.

A tumbleweed thought, one that often rolled by, came to him: East Texas, a hell of a beautiful sight, a long missed home.

Tilting his broad-brimmed hat forward, the Reverend urged his buckskin on, down into the town of Mud Creek, down to plant the seed of his rambling ministry.

II

He came into town slow and easy, like an on-the-watch shootist, instead of a holy messenger of the Lord.

When he came to the livery he dismounted, looked up at the sign. It read: JOE BOB

RHINE'S LIVERY AND BLACKSMITH SHOP.

"Whatchawant?"

When he looked down from the sign, he was confronted by a shirtless youth wearing a floppy hat and baggy suspenders supporting wool trousers. The boy looked sullen and bored.

"If you don't think it'll tire you out too much, I'd like my horse groomed."

"Six bits. Now."

"I want him groomed, not shampooed, you little crook."

The boy held out his hand. "Six bits "

The Reverend reached into his pocket and slapped the money into the boy's palm.

"What's your name, son? I'd like to know who to avoid from here on out."

"David."

"At least you have a fine biblical name."

"It ain't all that good."

"It isn't all that good."

"Hell, that's what I said. You're the one that's all blazed about it."

"I'm talking about your English. ISN'T is acceptable. AIN'T is not."

'"You talk funny."

"I return the compliment."

"You look like a preacher to me, except you got that gun."

"I am a preacher, boy. Name is Jebidiah Mercer. Reverend Mercer to you. Perhaps you'll groom my horse sometime between now and tomorrow?"

The boy was about to speak when a big man wearing overalls, a leather apron, and a disagreeable expression appeared from the interior of the livery. As he approached, the Reverend saw the boy tense.

"Boy talking you to death, mister?" the man said gruffly.

"We were just making a deal on the grooming of my horse. You must be the owner?"

"That's right. Joe Bob Rhine—he charge you two bits like he was supposed to?"

"I'm satisfied."

David swallowed hard and looked at the Reverend for a long moment.

"Boy's like his mama," Joe Bob said. "A dreamer. You have to beat respect into him.

Damn sure wasn't born with it" He turned to David. "Boy, take the man's horse. Get to work."

"Yes sir," David said. Then to the Reverend. "What's her name?"

"I just call her horse. Mind you that she has a saddle rub on her back."

David smiled. "Yes sir." He started removing the saddle.

"I'd like to board her for a while also," the Reverend said to Rhine. "Is that convenient?"

"Pay when you pick her up."

David handed the Reverend his saddle bags. "Thought you might need these."

"Thanks"

David nodded, took the horse, and went away.

"Where's the best place to stay?" the Reverend asked Rhine.

"Ain't but one." Rhine pointed down the street. "The Hotel Montclaire."

The Reverend nodded, tossed the saddlebags over his shoulder, and started up the street.

III

The sign over the weathered building read: THE HOTEL MONTCLAIRE. Six sets of windows looked down at the street. Each was shaded by a dark blue curtain. All the windows were open and the curtains billowed in the light morning breeze.

Already the breeze was turning warm. It was August in East Texas, and save for the wee-morning hours, and an occasional night breeze, it was hot as a bitch dog in heat, sticky as molasses.

The Reverend took a dusty handkerchief out of his inside coat pocket and wiped his face.

He removed his hat and wiped his thick, black, oily hair with it. He put the handkerchief away, his hat on, stretched his saddle-worn back, and went inside the hotel.

A man with a belly like that of a foundered horse, snoozed behind the register desk.

Sweat balled on his face and streamed down it in dusty rivulets. A fly buzzed and tried to land on the snoozing man's nose, but could get no braking. It tried again—circled and found a perch on the fat man's forehead.

The Reverend bounced his palm on the desk bell.

The man popped out of his slumber with a start, sent the fly buzzing away with a wave of his hand. He licked his sweaty lips with his tongue.

"Jack Montclaire, at your service," he said.

"I would like a room."

"Rooms are our business." He turned the register book around. "If you'll just sign in."

As the Reverend signed. "You caught me sleeping. It's the heat.... Uh, six bits a night, clean sheets every three days.... If you stay three days."

"I'll stay at least three days. Meals extra?"

"Would be if I served them. You'll have to eat over to the cafe." Hoping against it,

"Bags?"

The Reverend patted his saddlebags, then counted out six bits into Montclaire's hand.

"Much obliged," Montclaire said. "Room thirteen, top of the stairs to the left. Enjoy your stay."

Montclaire turned the register book around, moved his lips over the Reverend's name.

"Reverend Jebidiah Mercer?"

The Reverend turned around. "Yes?"

"You're a preacher?"

"That is correct."

"Ain't never seen no preacher that carries a gun before."

"Now you have."

"I mean, a man of the Holy Word and peace and all...."

"Who ever said keeping the law of the Lord is peaceable work? The devil brings a sword, and I bring a sword back to him. It is the will of the Lord and I am his servant."

"I suppose."

"No supposing about it."

Montclaire looked into the red-rimmed, killer-blue eyes of the Reverend and trembled.

"Yes sir. I wasn't trying to tell you your business."

"You could not."

The Reverend went upstairs to leave Montclaire staring at his back.