Nicola Upson - Angel with Two Faces

‘Did Morveth know, do you think?’

‘No. I think it was something private between the two of them, the last intimacy they shared.’

‘It was brave of her not to share it more fully. She could have saved herself a lot of pain if she’d chosen to die with him.’

‘But that would have implicated my father in some sort of pact, and she wouldn’t have wanted anything to tarnish his memory. For my sake, apart from anything else. She stayed around as long as she could to help me through his loss – I can see that very clearly now.’ At last, he looked up from the fire. ‘Are you shocked?’ he asked.

She thought for a moment, knowing how important it was to both of them that she gave an honest answer. ‘No, not shocked. Surprised, perhaps – but only in the sense that I’m always surprised when someone does something utterly selfless. It doesn’t happen very often.’

‘You think it was selfless?’

‘Of course it was. She protected the people she loved from further suffering and unbearable guilt without any thought for how it would damage her own emotions – her peace of mind, if you like – during the last few weeks of her life. I can’t think of anything more selfless. I’d call it heroic if it didn’t come out of such bloody misery, and I only hope that someone would have the courage to do the same for me if it were necessary.’ It was hard to tell what effect her answer had on him, if any. ‘It doesn’t matter what I think, though,’ she continued. ‘You obviously felt it was wrong in some way, or you wouldn’t have abandoned the path you set out on.’

‘No – that’s just it. I was so sure it was right – that’s why I couldn’t go down that path. I wish it hadn’t happened, of course I do – but never for one moment have I doubted that she did the right thing. I’d have even done it myself if she’d asked me, and that’s not the attitude to have if you hold someone’s life in your hands. I was afraid of that certainty. It’s more than just making a decision and sticking to it – it can so easily become arrogance, and I’ve seen that in too many other people to think that I’m immune to it myself. Policing is different – you have to have evidence and it’s never just down to you, no matter how good you are. You can’t play God.’

‘Is that really what you think she did?’

‘It’s what I was afraid I might do, given the opportunity.’

‘And do you regret the decision, if not the act that led to it?’

‘Not very often these days. I love what I do, and I’m good at it, but…’

‘But what?’ she prompted.

‘I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about everything that’s been going on here lately, and perhaps I was wrong ever to go away at all. William could do with some support now, and God knows what it’s going to be like when he’s older. Lettice and Ronnie are hardly likely to take over the reins. Perhaps I should come back here, after all.’

‘Is that really what you want?’ Josephine realised suddenly how much she depended on Archie’s being in London, and tried to fight a selfish impulse to influence him. She could hardly expect him to base his future on their friendship while she remained free to walk in and out of his life as she pleased, but it occurred to her now that much of the pleasure she took in her visits south was down to him, and her earlier words to William came back to trouble her: Cornwall was a very long way from Inverness. ‘Would it make you happy, do you think?’

‘No, probably not, but sometimes living your own life feels like a very self-centred thing to do.’

‘You have to answer to yourself for not doing it, though.’

‘Is that what you’ve done? You gave up your freedom to go back to your father when your mother died.’

‘No I didn’t. I gave up a reasonably satisfying job as a physical training instructress, which would have given me up eventually anyway. All right, I resented it at first simply because it was expected of me, but it didn’t take me long to see that it would work for me. I have as much freedom as I want, with time to write, time alone, and the financial means to come and go without feeling guilty. And I’ve never been tied to my father – he’s not an invalid, just a man.’

Archie laughed. ‘I know you get on well.’

‘Yes, most of the time, and he respects what I do. I might complain about a few domestic chores but it suits me, this life – you know it does. So don’t make me a martyr, for God’s sake. I couldn’t bear that.’

‘All right. I take it back.’

‘And don’t be one yourself. I know how this sadness affects you, particularly where Morwenna’s concerned, but distance isn’t the same thing as detachment. Do you think Morwenna would have found such comfort in talking to you if you weren’t to some extent an outsider?’

‘No, I suppose not.’

‘Anyway, from what I’ve seen, William’s got a while to go yet before he’s ready to ask for help. Perhaps in a few years’ time, when you’ve got your feet under the chief superintendent’s desk and you’re tired of pushing papers. Think about it then. In the meantime, we should get some sleep. I expect you’ve got another early start?’

‘Yes. Listen, before you go to bed – did you manage to find out anything from Loveday?’ He looked sheepish. ‘I feel rather hypocritical about asking you to act as my spy when I’ve set up camp on the moral high ground, but now I’ve done it, I may as well reap the benefits.’

‘Well, I didn’t get anywhere with what you asked me to find out. Loveday didn’t say anything about Nathaniel that you don’t already know, and there was nothing to indicate that his love for Harry was ever reciprocated.’

‘But?’ he asked, sensing that there was more.

‘I might be able to throw some light on Christopher’s disappearance. Loveday was pregnant, and there’s no doubt the baby was his. She thinks he’s abandoned her, and I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s not the first boy to make a run for it rather than face his father’s wrath – and if I were him, I wouldn’t want to face Morwenna, either.’

‘You said Loveday was pregnant.’

‘She had a miscarriage – not that she understands any of this, of course, but it was obvious from what she said. That’s why they left the Minack in such a hurry.’

‘That makes sense. Jago was concerned about Christopher’s relationship with Loveday, although he insisted it had never got that far. Poor Loveday – she’s another one who’s had more than her fair share of grief lately. Still, perhaps this latest blow is for the best. A child would only complicate things – for her and for Morwenna.’

‘Mmm.’

‘You don’t agree?’

‘About the child, perhaps. But I don’t see why everyone should be so sceptical about Loveday and Christopher making a go of things – it seems to me that they stand as good a chance as any of us. But that wasn’t really what I meant. We’re back to playing God again.’

‘Go on.’

‘From what Loveday said to me, I’d put money on the fact that Morveth found a way to bring on the miscarriage.’

‘Really? God, I hope you’re wrong, for Loveday’s sake and mine. It would put me in an impossible position – professionally and morally.’

‘How would you ever prove it? And what good would it do Loveday if you did? It’s just someone else she can no longer trust.’

‘You don’t like Morveth, do you?’

‘No, and not just because she chose on a whim to tell me something which could have destroyed my relationship with you, or because she frightened me to death by catching me pumping Loveday for information. Morveth is the worst kind of criminal, if you really want to know what I think. She manipulates people’s lives because she thinks she knows what’s best for them, without ever putting her own emotions on the line, and walks through the wreckage unscathed. It’s exactly what you said about certainty leading to arrogance: she’s so used to taking things into her own hands that she never questions herself any more – if she ever did. Hubris is as dangerous as cruelty or ignorance. In fact, when you find out who killed Nathaniel, I’ve no doubt you’ll come across Morveth’s handiwork in there somewhere. She won’t have pushed him over – that sort of direct approach isn’t her style – but she might as well have done.’