Beverly Barton - Paladin's Woman

He grabbed her chin in his big hand, squeezing tightly but not painfully. "You know damned well that it ate me alive seeing you kiss him that way."

"Dina told me that—that you and she had been lovers."

Nick didn't respond. His hand on Addy's back stilled. He took a deep breath. "Yeah. A long time ago, when I was just a green kid whose raging hormones ruled his body." He felt her quiver.

"You—you slept with your brother's wife?"

"I slept with my brother's widow. Once."

Addy released the breath she'd been holding, then reached out to cover Nick's hand that held her chin so firmly. "Did you love her?"

"Look, Addy, what happened between Dina and me was so long ago that it has no bearing on the here and now. On the two of us." He didn't think Addy would understand if he admitted the truth. How could he explain to her that there was more than one kind of love, and that what he'd felt for Dina had been the absolutely worst kind—the most destructive kind?

"She thinks you compare every woman to her, that she's still the woman you want."

Nick flung off Addy's hand and released her chin. He jumped up off the bed, knocking Addy over in the process. She gazed up at him. "If I wanted Dina, I could have had her a thousand times over." The truth of his words rang in his ears like a dozen clanking bells. There hadn't been a time in the past twenty-odd years that he couldn't have bedded Dina. Between husbands or even during her marriages. She had no conception of the word "fidelity," and in other women, it didn't matter. But in the woman he loved, it was of paramount importance. He'd spent his entire life seeking a replacement for Dina, when in his heart he'd known she was his for the taking. He didn't want her. And he sure as hell didn't love her.

Pushing herself up with her elbows, Addy sat in the middle of Nick's bed. "I want to trust you completely … in every way, but—but I'm not prepared to take that kind of risk unless I can be sure of you."

"Sure of me how?" He glared at her, his big bronze body towering over her.

Addy had never wanted to touch a man the way she wanted to touch Nick. He was so utterly masculine that the very sight of him took her breath away. "If you want me, you're going to have to earn the right to make love to me."

"I'm going to what?"

"I want to be sure that I'm important to you, that you really care about me, that your desire for me is real."

Nick grabbed her hand, shoved it against his arousal and held it there. "That's real, Addy, as real as it gets."

She felt the throbbing evidence of his desire, and the shocking realization that she had evoked such a strong response in him tempted her almost beyond reason. Almost, but not quite. "Gerald could get hard, and he could ram himself into me, but he didn't care anything about me. I didn't mean anything to him but a way to get Daddy's money. When I give myself to a man again I don't want to have any doubts that I'm all he wants, all he cares about, above and beyond anyone or anything else."

Nick dropped his hand. Addy's hand slid down the front of Nick's shorts, her fingers caressing him. He groaned. "How the hell do I prove something like that to you?"

Addy walked toward the open door. "I don't know, but I'm sure you'll find a way."

With that said, she left. Nick stood, watching her as she disappeared into the hallway. Damned stubborn woman. She was asking too much of him. There was no way he could prove himself to her, was there? She was asking for the kind of love that didn't exist—not in his world.

Hell, he'd never had to prove himself to a woman. If she thought that he'd ever come to her begging, then she'd better think again.

Nick fell into the bed, his hot, aroused body pulsating painfully with a need that he knew only one woman on earth could appease. And that woman had just told him that if he ever wanted to find release between her long silky legs, he'd have to earn the right to make love to her.

Chapter 7

« ^ »

Hot June sunshine played hide-and-seek with gray, midmorning rain clouds, creating a hazy, overcast daylight. Standing at her kitchen window, Addy watched the warm breeze floating through the trees and shrubs in her backyard, swaying the tops of the red azaleas and teasing the clematis vine clinging to the wooden fence. Everything looked the same as it had for the past few years since she'd purchased the house in Twickenham, since she had begun a new life, totally on her own. She had grown to love the sameness, the routine pattern of peacefulness, and, above all else, she had learned to appreciate her independence.

But things were not the same. An unknown person's threats had changed her life, throwing her cherished order into chaos, reverting her father back into the overprotective parent he'd once been, and utterly destroying her hard-won privacy and independence.

Addy placed the last lunch plate into the dishwasher, then wiped her hands and laid the towel on the counter. Glancing out onto the rock patio behind her house, Addy saw Nick Romero, his broad back facing her, as he sat drinking a tall glass of iced tea. As much as the menacing kidnapper, Nick had altered the course of Addy's life, his very presence a disturbing force she found difficult to handle. More than anything she wanted to believe that his interest in her was genuine, that he truly desired her as a woman and not as the heir to a fortune. If she allowed her romantic nature to override her common sense, she would give herself to Nick, heart and soul. Already, she fantasized about him, seeing him as her knight in shining armor, the man who would cherish her and protect her … forever. But Addy had learned to control the romantic girl within, giving her realistic self the upper hand. Trusting her life to Nick was easier than trusting her own heart.

The portable phone sitting outside on the patio table rang, jarring Addy out of her thoughts. Opening the door, she stepped outside just as Nick answered.

"Hold a minute, I'll get her," he said, then shoved the chair back and stood.

Before he could turn around, Addy walked over to him. "Is that for me?"

Nick gave her a long, hard look, then handed her the telephone. "It's Jim Hester."

Addy returned Nick's scrutiny as she accepted the phone. "Hello, Jim." Addy walked around the patio, savoring the feel of the warm sun and the pleasant breeze.

"I just wanted to check on you before I leave for Washington," Jim said. "I need to know that you're all right."

"I'm fine. Honestly."

"Addy?"

She could tell by the unusual edge to his voice that something was bothering him. "What is it, Jim? What's wrong?"

"Well, I—I thought you should hear it from me."

"What?" She had never known Jim Hester to be so mysterious.

"I'm taking Tiffany with me on this trip, and … I'm taking Carol Stilwell with me."

Addy could hear Jim's deep breathing, could feel the utter stillness. "You're taking your sister-in-law?"

"Yes, well—"

"It's all right, Jim." Addy walked farther away from Nick, knowing he was listening to her every word. "If you're trying to tell me that you and Carol are—are involved, I understand."

"I just didn't want you to think that I'd been leading you on and fooling around with Carol at the same time." Jim's voice sounded strained, pleading. "I guess I've always known that nothing would ever come of our friendship. And since Romero showed up… Well—I need someone, Addy, and so does Tiffany."

"Of course you do, and believe me, I understand. Good luck, Jim. I—I hope everything works out for you and Carol."

They said their goodbyes. Addy punched the off button. Nick came up behind her, leaning over to take the phone out of her hand.

"You didn't want Jim Hester, despite the fact that he's a nice guy. You wanted to be a mother to his daughter."