Beverly Barton: Guarding Jeannie

"I've got to see her." Sam jerked away from J.T., took three steps and passed out cold.

Sam floated in and out of a drug-induced sleep, realizing that each time he fought them, begging to see Jeannie, they sedated him again. His gut instincts told him something was horribly wrong, but he couldn't fight the sedatives they gave him to keep him calm and allow him to heal.

Three days after his arrival, Sam awoke at midday, his mouth as dry as cotton balls, his eyes gritty and his mind still a bit foggy. Glancing around the room, he saw J.T. first, standing at the foot of his bed. Manton and Julian Howell stood in the open doorway.

"What's going on? Why aren't you with Jeannie?" Sam sat straight up. His head throbbed. He shut his eyes, trying to block out the sudden pain.

Julian Howell approached the side of Sam's bed. "The doctors felt it was necessary to keep you sedated in order to give you a few days to heal." Julian laid his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Every time you woke, you tried to get out of bed and find Jeannie."

"Yeah, I get the picture," Sam slid his legs off the bed, jerked the tubes out of his arms and stood. "I take it that y'all have finally decided to let me see her."

"You couldn't have done anything for her," Julian said. "She's been unconscious since—" Julian swallowed his tears.

"You mean she hasn't woken up yet?" Sam glanced at J.T. "What is it? What are y'all not telling me?"

J.T. exchanged a concerned look with Julian. Sam glanced at Manton. The gentle giant signed to him. He placed his hands on his shoulders, then moved them outward, the action mimicking the smoothing of feathers on the wings.

Angel. One of the first words Jeannie had taught Sam in sign language. His pet name for her.

Sam didn't understand the next word, although Manton repeated it several times, placing his hands palm to palm, then turning both hands over.

"What's he saying about Jeannie?" Sam asked.

"He said, 'Our angel is dying.'" Julian wiped tears from his eyes.

"No, she can't be dying." Sam gripped Julian's thin arm. "I won't let her die!"

J.T. grabbed Sam's shoulder, turning Sam to face him. "The doctors don't know what the hell is wrong. Like Dr. Howell said, she's been unconscious for days. Her vital signs are growing steadily weaker. They've run every test imaginable on her. They can't treat her, because they don't know what's wrong with her."

"I know." Sam tried to pull away from J.T., but his friend held him fast. "Dammit, I know what's wrong with her. I killed her. In saving me, in healing me again and again just to keep me alive, she used up all her energy. She has nothing to build on. She's depleted her life force."

He realized that J.T. might think he'd gone mad, but he knew Julian and Manton would understand. He looked at Julian. "Tell him I'm right."

"It's possible that's what happened." Julian turned from them, burying his face in his hands as his body shook with sobs.

"She's been drifting in and out of consciousness for the last hour," J.T. said. "She keeps calling your name. Over and over."

"Take me to her, J.T. Please."

Sam Dundee never begged, never pleaded. But he was begging now.

Manton shook his head, stepping in front of Sam, signing furiously. Sam reached out, grasping Manton's enormous hands, halting him.

"I know what you're trying to tell me." Sam patted Manton's hands. "But if she's dying, I can't hurt her, can I? And she's calling for me. I need to be with her."

Manton nodded, agreeing with Sam.

Julian Howell, tears coating his face, his voice shaky, turned around and said, "Take him to her, Mr. Blackwood. She wants him with her. She loves him so."

"He needs to be told before he goes to her," J.T. said.

"Yes, of course he does," Julian agreed.

Fear like nothing Sam had ever known invaded his mind and body, trapping the screaming rage inside him. "What haven't you told me?"

J.T. closed his eyes momentarily, blew out his breath, then opened his eyes and looked directly at Sam. "She's pregnant. Four or five weeks pregnant."

Sam's blood chilled. His nerves burned. His muscles knotted painfully. Jeannie was carrying his child. And they were both dying. Because of him. She had sacrificed herself and their child to save his life.

"No!" The word roared from his body like the cry of a dying animal, his pain more than he could bear.

Sam turned, balled his hands into fists and pounded the wall so hard his hands burst through the Sheetrock. Pulling out his hands, he squared his shoulders and faced J.T.

"Let's go," Sam said.

J.T. walked Sam down the hall to Jeannie's room, Manton and Julian following. She rested on the pristine white sheets, her face devoid of color, her eyes closed. Dressed in a hospital gown, she lay perfectly still.

"I want to go in alone," Sam said. "I can make it without any help."

Sam entered her room, leaving the door behind him open. J.T., Manton and Julian hovered in the doorway. Sam walked slowly over to Jeannie and sat down in the chair beside her bed, then lifted her hand and pressed it against his lips.

"I'm here, angel. I'm right here with you," he told her. "Come on, Jeannie, wake up."

Her eyelids fluttered.

"That's it, come on, wake up." Standing, he clasped her hand to his heart.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. A faint smile curved her lips. "Sam."

Holding her hand, he leaned down and kissed her lips, the touch feather-light. "You've got to fight, angel. You can't let go. You have to live. What would I do without you?"

"You … you're … all right?"

"I'm fine." He rubbed the back of her fragile hand across his cheek. "You saved my life again." Tears lodged in Sam's throat.

"I love … you," Jeannie whispered.

"Please, Jeannie, don't die." Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he lifted her into his arms, kissing her tenderly on her forehead and cheeks. "I don't want to live without you."

"The baby … she's all right." Jeannie brought Sam's trembling hand down across her stomach. "We need you, Sam. Your little girl and I. You can save us."

"How? Dear God, Jeannie, tell me how!"

"You know how … you know…" Her voice drifted away as she closed her eyes and sank once again into an unnatural sleep.

"I don't know!" Sam shouted. "Tell me! I don't know!" He clasped her to him, holding her against his chest, stroking her back, whispering her name. Tears welled up in Sam's eyes. A drop fell on his cheek. He swallowed hard. Another tear fell, then another, and another. Tears flooded his eyes, ran into his mouth, dripped off his chin.

Sam allowed his mind to delve into Jeannie's, seeking a response when he telepathically called her name.

I'm here, Sam. Help me. Save me. Save our baby. Take care of us.

"How?" he asked aloud, then repeated the question silently. How?

You know how.

He held her close, strengthening their physical connection as he kept their mental link intact.

I love you, Jeannie, my angel. I love you. Please don't leave me.

He felt her love invade his mind, conquer his heart and lay claim to his soul. Don't let us go, Sam. Give us your strength. Take away our weakness.

"I'll do anything to save you." Clutching her in his arms, holding her weak, lifeless body against the strength of his, Sam trembled with sorrow, crying from the depths of his soul as he had never cried before in his life. Not even when he was a child and his mother died.

"Please. Please. She's suffered so much for so many people. She gives and gives and asks nothing in return. She's saved my life twice, and shown me the meaning of real love. I can't live without her. If she dies, I die."

J.T. touched Sam on the back. "Come on, Sam. Don't do this. You aren't helping her."