Sean Chercover - The Trinity Game

That didn’t mean there was a God. It just meant the mass illusion was invisible to her. There was a level on which she would never be able to relate to believers, and while they might derive great comfort from their belief, that didn’t excuse turning a blind eye to all the destructive influence of religion in the world.

All the wealth and time and labor we pour into propping up our respective priests and reverends, rabbis and imams, monks and gurus, building grand cathedrals, churches, temples, mosques, and mansions; sacrificing our young on the altar of war, war over whose imaginary friend is the real imaginary friend (might as well print My God Can Beat Up Your God T-shirts); the bigotry, misogyny, subjection, intolerance and guilt. All that human energy, wasted, in response to the simple fact that we know we are going to die, and we don’t know what happens after, and we’re afraid that this life is all there is. The question haunts us—from the chilling childhood moment when we realize that we and everyone we love will die, until we exhale our final breath. And if a kind of mass self-hypnosis called Religion helps us cope with our fear, fine, but we have to look at the unintended consequences of embracing an irrational philosophy. We don’t have to look far. Ground Zero in Manhattan will do. Or the Gaza Strip, if you’ve got some air miles burning a hole in your pocket. While you’re over there, make a stop in Africa, where the pope is preaching to a country ravaged by tribal war, overpopulation, chronic food shortage, and AIDS. The pope tells them to stop using condoms, or the all-powerful and all-loving God will cast their souls into the fiery furnace of eternal damnation. Nice.

So much for journalistic objectivity. Clearly this story was pushing all her bias buttons. She would have to watch herself, tread carefully.

Her cell phone vibrated on the table. She glanced at the little screen, picked it up.

“Sheriff, thanks for getting back.”

“You may be the only civilized human being in your profession,” Sheriff Alatorre groused. “Your colleagues are operatin’ under the misguided notion that talking to them is my primary function. Can’t get a minute to do my goddamn job around here.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry. Been a long couple days.”

“It’s all right,” said Julia, thinking: Make him your ally . She put a smile in her voice. “Have to admit, that’s a true assessment of a great number of my colleagues, Sheriff. And I do appreciate your time.”

“That’s why I’m talking to you. Your message said you’re looking to interview survivors.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Young lady, I am about to make your day.” He rumbled a baritone chuckle in Julia’s ear. “Get out your pen. I got a survivor you are definitely gonna want to talk to.”

The home number rang unanswered. Julia punched in the cell number and Andrew Thibodeaux picked up on the second ring. She identified herself and asked him to repeat what he had told the sheriff. As he spoke, she scribbled shorthand in her notebook.

“Well, it’s like I told the man,” Andrew said. “Went to work, foreman said he’d got a crazy call from Reverend Trinity, sayin’ we gotta shut down the refinery, and there’s gonna be an accident. Something about visions and tongues. Foreman thought he was drunk.”

“But you didn’t?”

“I seen him on the TV night before. Just surfin’, you know?—and suddenly my remote goes on the fritz, and I’m stuck on Reverend Trinity, and Reverend Trinity is talking to me—I mean, right at me— and I got the idea he’s talking for God. Don’t know how I know it, but I just know it, like a feeling kinda knowing. So next morning, when I hear about the phone call, then I know it for sure, and I’m like, ‘ Shazam! I’m outta here.’”

“Uh, wow.” Thinking: He’s about a peck short of a bushel. “Please, go on. What happened next?”

“That’s it. Reverend Trinity saved my life, and the Lord saved my soul. I told the guys at work to come with me, but they stayed. Foreman fired my ass on my way out the door too. I left anyway. Best decision I ever made.”

“Can’t argue that,” said Julia. “Andrew, that’s an incredible story. I’m in Atlanta, but I can be in New Orleans this afternoon, if you’ll meet with me.” What the hell—might as well fly back and forth on CNN’s tab. “I’d like to do a full interview, a profile piece on you.”

“You can be in New Orleans, but I ain’t gonna be. The Lord has beckoned me, and I’m on the road. Call ya when I get to Atlanta.”

Julia put the phone down, thinking: That boy needs a head-doctor.

Goose bumps rose on her forearms, and a shiver rolled over her. That’s exactly what you thought when Danny called, she reminded herself, and over one hundred men paid for your arrogance with their lives.

Shit…

Her stomach knotted, and for the first time in a long while, she wanted a cigarette. Great. After Danny entered the seminary, she’d graduated from social smoker to simply smoker, and she’d maintained that status longer than intended. Finally kicked the habit five years ago, and she was damned if she’d go back to it.

Danny…

The very topic she’d been avoiding. OK, subconscious mind , Julia thought, you want to talk about it? Fine, we’ll talk about it.

Truth was, seeing Danny again had stirred up emotional silt, thankfully long settled and now unwelcome. But that was to be expected. He was, after all, the first real love of her life. The first and, so far, the most profound love of her life.

When he left her for the priesthood, the heartbreak was crippling, and Julia spent the next few months doing her job on autopilot and smoking pot on her days off. Her self-esteem had taken a pounding. Hard enough if a man leaves you for another woman, but Danny left her for his imaginary God-Daddy. Left her for a life of celibacy. And what did that say about her feminine charms? It was a rough blow.

She had no intention of grieving forever, and she soon forced herself to shake it off and get back in the game. A rebound romance with an old college boyfriend turned into an ill-advised marriage that lasted two years—two-and-a-half, if you include the engagement.

Her fault; she was never really in love with Luc. Then again, Luc had that Cajun brand of macho, allowed no woman past the wrought iron gates of his mind, wouldn’t have proposed to a woman who insisted on knowing him well enough to achieve a profound love.

When she woke up to the fact that she wasn’t in love with her husband, she resolved to get closer, figuring if she could really know him, she could fall in love with him. But Luc would not reveal himself, resented the pressure, and the relationship quickly went to hell.

Danny never kept her out. He had the same wrought iron gates as all men, but he opened them for her, and once inside, she had found her home. And then he’d ripped it away from her.

And now he was back.

She caught a fleeting image of the previous night, in the bar. The way Danny rotated his pint glass on the coaster, a quarter turn after each sip, an unconscious gesture that cleaned the foam from the inside of the glass as he drank. He was still doing it, fourteen years on.

She wondered what else hadn’t changed. Had he really been celibate for fourteen years? Hard to imagine. He’d been a passionate lover—of course, who isn’t at eighteen?—but unlike most young men, his passion included the desire to see her needs satisfied, and not just to bolster his credentials as a lover, but because he wanted her to be happy. Danny had been afraid of many things, but intimacy was not one of them.