Abbi Glines - Never Too Far

I turned back and went to stand in front of Rush. I looked up at Woods. “It’s okay. Just give me a minute with him. It’ll be okay. He didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being emotional. That’s all,” I told him.

Woods’ jaw worked back and forth as he ground his teeth. Keeping his mouth shut was proving difficult for him. He finally nodded and stalked away.

I had to face Rush now.

“Blaire,” Rush said gently as his hand reached out and grabbed mine. “Please look at me.”

I could do this. I had to do this. I turned around letting Rush continue holding my hand in his. I should remove it but I couldn’t just yet. I’d seen him with a woman who was probably keeping his bed warm at night while I continued to push him away. I was losing him. So was our baby. But then… had we ever really had him?

I lifted my eyes and met his worried gaze. He didn’t like upsetting me. I loved that about him. “It’s okay. I overreacted. I was just, um, surprised is all. I should have known you’d have moved on by now. I just—”

“Stop it,” Rush interrupted me and pulled me up against him. “I haven’t moved anywhere. What you think you saw you didn’t. Meg is an old friend. That is all. She means nothing to me. I came looking for you. I needed to see you and I went to play golf. You weren’t there. I ran into Meg and she suggested we have lunch. That’s it. I had no idea you were in here working. I’d have never done that. Even though I wasn’t doing anything. I love you Blaire. Just you. I’m not with anyone else. I never will be.”

I wanted to believe him. As selfish and wrong as it was I wanted to believe he loved me enough not to need anyone else. Even if I was pushing him away from me. I was lying to him. I hated liars. He would hate me too if I didn’t tell him soon. I didn’t want him to hate me. But I couldn’t trust him. Did lying make that okay? Was lying ever okay? How could he ever trust me?

“I’m pregnant.” The words came out of me before I realized what I was doing. I covered my mouth in horror as Rush’s eyes went wide. Then I turned and ran like hell.

Rush

My feet were cemented to the floor. Even as I watched Blaire running away from me I couldn’t move. Had I just dreamed that? Was it a desperate hallucination? Was I getting that bad?

“If you aren’t going after her I am.” Woods’ voice broke into my thoughts and I snapped out of my shocked haze.

“What?” I asked, glaring at him. I hated him. Beating his face in was something I was suddenly fantasizing about.

“I said, if you aren’t going after her I am. She needs someone right now. As much as I don’t want it to be you because I don’t think you deserve her it needs to be you.”

Did he know she was pregnant? My blood started to boil. Had she told Woods she was pregnant and hadn’t told me?

“I was here the first morning she tried to work and the smell of bacon sent her scrambling to the restroom to vomit. So, yeah I already knew. Get that crazed possessive gleam out of your eyes and go get her.” Woods’ tone was laced with disgust.

“She’s been sick?” I hadn’t known she was sick. My chest hurt. She’d been sick alone. I’d left her alone and she’d been suffering. Air wasn’t getting to my lungs.

“Yeah, you stupid shit, she’s been sick. That happens in her situation. But she’s getting better. Now I’m about to turn and go after her. Make your move,” Woods warned.

I broke into a run.

It wasn’t until I exited the building in the back and looked up the hill that I found her. She was still running. It was toward the condos. She was going back to her place. I went after her. She was pregnant. Should she be running like this? What if it was bad for the baby? She needed to slow down.

“Blaire, stop. Wait,” I called out when I was close enough. She slowed down and finally stopped as I caught up with her.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed with her face in her hands.

“What are you sorry for?” I asked, closing the distance between us and pulling her against me. I wasn’t worried about scaring her off anymore. I wasn’t letting her go anywhere.

“This. Everything. My being pregnant,” she whispered, stiff in my arms.

She was sorry. No. She wasn’t going to be sorry for that. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Don’t ever apologize to me again. Do you hear me?”

Some of the tension in her body eased and she leaned against me. “But I didn’t tell you.”

No, she hadn’t but I understood. It sucked but I understood. “I wish you had. I’d have never let you be sick on your own. I’d have taken care of you. I’m going to take care of you now. I’ll make up for it. I swear.”

Blaire shook her head and pushed away from me. “No. I can’t. We can’t do this. I didn’t tell you for a reason. We… we need to talk.”

I was taking care of her and she wasn’t leaving me. But if she needed to talk about it then I’d let her. “Okay. Let’s go to your place since we’re so close.”

Blaire nodded and turned to walk toward the condo she’d been running for earlier. Jace had said Woods was letting them stay there for the same amount as Bethy’s old apartment. He thought Woods was thinking of using it as a tax write off or something. I understood now. He’d been doing it for Blaire. He’d been taking care of her. Not anymore he wasn’t. I was taking care of what was mine. I didn’t need Woods doing it. I’d go talk to Woods later but I’d be paying the prime amount for rent on this place. Woods was not taking care of Blaire. She was mine.

I watched as she bent down and got the key from under the mat. That had to be the worst hiding spot ever for a key. I’d deal with that later too. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep at night knowing she had a key tucked under her front door mat for anyone to walk in on her.

Blaire opened the door and stepped back. “Come on in.”

I stepped inside and took her hand with me as I passed her. She might want to tell me all the reasons we couldn’t be together but I was going to be touching her while she talked. I needed to know she was okay. Touching her calmed me down.

She closed the door and let me pull her over to the sofa. I sat down and pulled her down beside me. I wanted to put her in my lap but the worried, nervous look on her face stopped me. She needed to talk and I was going to let her.

“I should have told you. I’m sorry I didn’t. I was going to; maybe not the way I did today but I was going to tell you. I just needed time to decide on where I was going to go next and what I was going to do with my life. I wanted to save up and go start somewhere new. For the baby. But I was going to tell you.”

She was going to tell me and then leave me? Panic gripped me. She couldn’t do that. “You can’t leave me,” I said as plainly as I could. She needed to understand that.

Blaire dropped her gaze from mine and studied our hands. I’d laced my fingers through hers. It was all that was keeping me calm at the moment. “Rush,” she said softly. “I don’t want my baby to ever feel unwanted. Your family...” she trailed off and her face had gone pale.

“My family will accept what I tell them to accept. If they don’t I will take you and my baby and leave them to pay all their own damn bills. You come first, Blaire.”

She shook her head and tugged her hand loose from mine as she stood up. “No. You say that now but it isn’t true. It wasn’t true a month ago and it isn’t true now. You will always choose them over me. Or at least you will Nan and that’s okay. I understand; I just can’t live with it. I can’t stay here.”

Not telling her about her dad was going to haunt me for the rest of my life. My need to protect Nan had fucked up the only thing important to me. I stood up and walked toward her as she backed up until she was against the wall. “No. One. Comes. Before. You.”