Michelle Styles - The Gladiator's Honor

'Your escapade this morning has changed matters, Julia. I intend to play a waiting game. See which way the wind blows. Other more suitable alliances may appear. Question me about the war with Spartacus? Champion that dictator Sulla! At my own dinner table! Who does Mettalius think he is?'

Julia sank down into a curtsy. 'Thank you, Father. I will not make you ashamed.'

The twinkle disappeared and her father looked once more like the man she had faced across the dinner table last night.

'Mind you, if I hear you have been consorting with gladiators in public again, I may be forced to take stronger measures.'

Julia went still.

'What sort of measures?' She pushed the question around the lump in her throat. She had to know.

'As I am sure you are a respectable matron like your mother, I will have no need. If you'll excuse me, I shall leave you to contemplate your mother while I dress for dinner.'

Julia ran her fingers over the bust of her mother and placed a smile on to her lips. Her heart felt as if it were breaking. She had no doubt of what her father's threat meant. In exchange for her freedom, she agreed to give up Valens and their growing friendship. It wasn't as if there was anything between them, she argued with her heart. Yesterday, she had been unaware of his existence. But the words did nothing to ease the pain in her heart.

Valens walked through the shadowy garden at dusk. The clipped bay laurels cast long shadows over the finely raked gravel paths. In a secluded nook, Julia sat by a portrait bust of a woman who shared the same firm chin, and determined mouth. She sat as remote and still as the statue, eyes fixed on a distant spot, seemingly oblivious to his entering the garden.

'Julia,' he called softly, trying not to startle her, the speech he had decided on forming in his mind. He'd apologise one more time, then leave. He had only sought her out in order to make sure she had arrived back safely and recovered from her fright. That was the end to it. Unemotional uninterest. He was focused solely on the arena. 'Julia, we should speak.'

She started and turned towards him. In the fading light, he could make out the anguish in her gaze. Valens's stomach twisted as if she had driven a knife into it. He wanted to take away the pain and turn the shadows into smiles.

All his thoughts about keeping his distance vanished along with the polite speech he had planned. He crossed the garden in ten steps to reach her side, drawing her further back into the shadowy nook.

'What's wrong?'

She gave a tiny shrug of her shoulders. 'Nothing is the matter. Why should anything be the matter?'

'You look as if you have lost your last friend, as if all the sadness in the world is about to overwhelm you.'

Valens reached out to take her in his arms, but she stood up and moved away. Valens allowed his arms to fall to his side.

'Sometimes I miss my mother. That's her statue.' Julia pointed to the bust.

Valens looked at the statue and back at Julia. There was more to this than missing her mother.

'How long has your mother been dead?'

Two bright spots appeared on her cheeks. Her hands twisted the end of her belt. 'Five years. She died when the fever swept through Rome.'

Valens caught her arm and turned her to face him. This time she didn't move away. She stood rigid. As he moved his hand up her arm slowly towards her shoulder, she laid her head against his chest with a great sigh. Valens stroked her head, the scent of her filling his nostrils and teasing his senses.

His body responded, hardening to her nearness; the temptation to taste her lips again was overpowering.

'I've spoken to your father about the incident at the presentation ceremony this afternoon,' he said in an attempt to draw his mind away from the way her body felt against his.

Immediately she stiffened and drew back. Her eyes flicked towards the entrance to the garden and the colour drained from her face.

'You've spoken to my father,' she said.

'Yes, I gather you already discussed the incident with him. I apologised for any embarrassment and explained about discovering your dog on stage. He seemed concerned about you and your reputation, but I explained the course of events.'

Julia felt another lump form in her throat. For that brief time, resting in Valens's arms, she'd been convinced he was about to kiss her again. How mistaken she'd been! He'd held her like a friend, not like a lover. Silently she cursed her treacherous mind and body.

She'd promised. She would not get involved with this man. Already the guilt of the small deception was eating away at her insides. But her father had said 'in public', and this garden nook was private. Julius Antonius never said anything without a reason. She pressed her fingertips together, relief building within her. He had not forbidden her to see Valens in private. If he had intended to keep them apart, he would have demanded Caesar remove Valens. She had been worried over nothing.

In her anxiety, she had managed to loosen the tight knot of hair at the back of her head. If she moved her head even an inch, her hairstyle would crash down around her shoulders. Not the impression she wanted to give Valens. She reached up and began to twist it back into a bun, taking out a hairpin.

'I've already explained to my father what happened, the truth about what happened,' she said carefully.

'He informed me before he and your stepmother left for dinner.' Valens's eye bore a distinct shine. 'He was pleased— your story matched with mine.'

Julia dropped a hairpin and she bent down searching for it. Keeping her eyes firmly trained on the ground, she said 'And why should they not match? I told the truth. The fight had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Bato and his escape plans.'

She spied the hairpin and reached out to grab it. Valens's hand reached out and closed around hers.

'Are you going to tell me what is bothering you, Julia? I thought you'd have been pleased your father is taking it so lightly. I heard the gossip in the streets.'

Julia withdrew her hand from his and stood up, jamming the hairpin back into her head so hard she winced from the pain.

'I have had an upsetting day. That's all. I nearly lose my dog, get in the midst of a violent fight and then, to cap it off, my father accuses me of having an affair with you.' She finished with a dramatic flourish and waited for his response.

Annoyingly Valens stared in the middle distance for a little while before he began to speak.

'What bothers you most—that your father accused you of having an affair or the fact that we are not having an affair?' His face wore the same look of yesterday when he accused her of following him from the bath.

The arrogant—Julia clenched her fist. 'How dare you!'

'If you desire an affair, it can be arranged, Julia.' His eyes held promises her body wanted to try. 'It might save some time. You know we are both attracted to each other.'

Julia closed her eyes and tried not to think of this morning and that kiss, the kiss that had sent shivers through her soul. She stiffened her back and stared straight into his face. When she had finished with him…

'You think, because you stole a kiss this morning,' she said with narrowed eyes and crossed arms, 'then had me sent home in a litter after a fight you engineered, that I should fall into your bed.'

'It has happened before.' A dimple showed in the corner of his mouth.

'Why, you—!' Julia reached up and drew her hand back. His hand caught her wrist before she connected with his cheek.

'Physical violence rarely solves anything outside the arena, Julia.' His voice hardened and his eyes glittered.

'That is rich coming from a gladiator,' she shot back.

'I do what I have to do to survive.' His voice was barely above a whisper now.