Radclyffe - Honor Reclaimed

"Darling," Diane murmured, her fingers drifting through Valerie's hair, guiding her lower, "you don't ever have to ask."

Chapter Twenty-four

Monday, September 24

I don't want to go back." Diane refilled her wineglass from the bottle of cabernet that sat in the center of the glass-topped coffee table. She sat on the sofa in khaki shorts and a navy sleeveless blouse with her feet propped on a rattan footstool.

Blair slouched next to her with her legs extended and her bare feet resting on the edge of the low table. Her grey Champion sweats were threadbare and hung off her hips; her red T-shirt with the sleeves and lower half torn off proclaimed "Arnie's Gym." She nudged Diane's knee with hers. "So don't. There's plenty of room here, and I don't get the sense that you're bored."

Diane smiled, thinking of the late-night assignations in Valerie's room and the early-morning walks on the beach, rain or no rain. "Bored. No, not that." She sipped the wine, then watched the bloodred liquid swirl in the glass. "It's been a long time since you and I have had this much time together. It's been good. And I can't say that I mind catching up on my reading."

"And then there are the other benefits," Blair remarked dryly. "Eating pizza every other night, strolling in the freezing rain, or if you're really lucky like me, finding strangers in the kitchen when you're in your underwear—"

"God, I thought that guy was going to kill himself trying to get out the door when we walked in that morning. He probably thought Cam would be right behind you and that she'd shoot him on the spot."

Blair laughed. "It wouldn't be the first time one of my security people has seen me undressed."

"Yes, but I'd bet Tanner's crew aren't used to it."

"True, and they've adjusted to our routine very well. She's got good people. I wasn't so sure when Cam decided to have them rotate with the Secret Service agents inside the house, but it's been fine." Blair angled sideways and rested her cheek against her arm, which she extended along the sofa back. Gazing at Diane, she grinned. "And don't forget how much fun it is to report your every movement to the crew chief. How could you possibly think of leaving?"

"Unfortunately," Diane said pensively, "I have a business to see to."

"Diane," Blair said quietly, "there is no business as usual in Manhattan right now. It's not going to hurt if you take another week off." She leaned closer and rubbed Diane's shoulders. "Here, turn sideways. Your back is in knots."

When Blair pulled her legs up onto the sofa, Diane shifted into the vee of her parted thighs. She sighed as Blair worked her thumbs up and down along her spine. "God, I've forgotten how good you are at that."

"Oh yeah? Well, it has been a long time."

They both laughed.

"I can't remember who seduced whom that first time," Diane said musingly. "Of course, we were fourteen."

"Well," Blair said, circling the flats of her fingers in the hollow at the base of Diane's spine, "you asked me to rub your back when you just happened to be naked, but I copped the first feel. So, I guess it was probably mutual."

"We were so innocent." Diane turned her head and looked back at Blair. "I was so crazy about you."

"You never said."

"I know. You were such a little heartbreaker already, and I guess I just didn't want to take the chance of getting hurt."

"I wonder what it would have been like," Blair said, sliding her hands back up to curve over the tops of Diane's shoulders. "If we'd been lovers then—I mean, if we'd admitted it was more than just the sex."

"We wouldn't have this. This friendship." Diane lightly stroked the tops of Blair's thighs where they cradled her body. "And as much as I've wanted you all these years, this is what I've always needed."

"You're okay with things now, right?" Blair spoke gently, her hands still.

Diane laughed. "I'll admit to having a twinge now and then, when you're looking particularly devastating." She patted Blair's legs. "But I'm not pining, and I can enjoy a back rub without getting wet."

"Well, fuck, I'm slipping," Blair muttered playfully, resuming her ministrations. After a few minutes of silence, she said, "You know what you said about taking a chance?"

"Mmm-hmm." Diane rested her head back against Blair's shoulder and closed her eyes. "God, that feels so good."

"You have to take chances when you're in love."

Diane shifted slightly so she could see Blair's face. "And who might you be? I could have sworn you were my old friend Blair Powell, who used to say that being in love was just a state of insanity."

Blair shrugged. "Maybe it is. But it feels really good, so why not choose a state of insanity that makes you happy instead of sad?"

"I think I know what you mean. After everything that's happened, if there's something—or someone—in life that's precious, we shouldn't lose sight of it."

"So are you?" .

"What?"

"Taking a chance. With Valerie?"

"Oh, I have no idea what I'm doing with her." Diane shook her head, her expression rueful. "She's...she's turned everything upside down on me."

"She's very beautiful."

"God yes."

"And terribly sexy."

"Mmm."

"And she might not be who she says she is," Blair said gently, draping her arms loosely around Diane's waist. "You know that, right?"

Diane stiffened, but did not pull away. "Talking about Valerie could get us into trouble."

"Maybe, but we need to." Blair kissed Diane's cheek. "Because I love you and I need you in my life. So, are you in love with her?"

"Yes. Totally."

"Thought so. She looks like she's in love with you too."

Diane sighed. "She hasn't said so. But the way she is with me, the way she touches me.. .God, she's so tender."

Blair smiled. "Well, it's a done deal, I can see that." She gave Diane a quick hug. "You know, being involved with one of these secret agent types is a real pain in the ass."

"I'm starting to understand that. There are a lot of things she doesn't say. Or can't say."

"They teach them not to trust, you know." Blair's voice was flat, restraining her anger.

"I know. But then, look at us. We're not that much different."

"True," Blair said sharply, "but we're not likely to disappear in the middle of the night on some mission to save the goddamned world. We're not likely to have someone put a bullet in us while we go about our daily business."

"Hey," Diane said, taking Blair's hand. She wasn't going to point out that Blair was as much a target as their lovers. "You can't think about that all the time. It will just make you crazy, and you can't change it. You can't change her. Besides, would you want to?"

"Yes. Fuck, yes." Blair closed her eyes, then took a deep breath. "No. But God, I think about something happening to her..." She looked away, her throat working around tears.

"Okay, what's happened?"

"Nothing."

"Yes. Something," Diane turned to face Blair, resting her hand once again on Blair's leg. "Tell."

Blair leaned forward and retrieved her wineglass. Then she set it down, lifted the bottle, and topped off both their glasses with what remained. She settled back, the glass cupped in both hands. She studied it for a while, as if some mystery lay revealed within, then met Diane's compassionate gaze. "Cam and I are going to get married."

Diane sat completely still. While Blair watched her expectantly, Diane finally took Blair's glass from her hand and set both their glasses back on the table. Then she scooped Blair into her arms. "I am so, so happy for you!"

"Thanks," Blair said softly, rubbing her cheek gently on Diane's shoulder. She leaned back and grinned. "Will you help? Because I don't have any idea what to do for this kind of thing. And I'm pretty certain Cam doesn't either."