Radclyffe - Honor Reclaimed

"I'll catch you in the morning," Blair said drowsily, her fingers playing over Cam's nipple.

"Deal," Cam muttered, already drifting into sleep.

Blair felt Cam's body relax and smiled to herself. As much as she loved to excite her, to share with her the passion she gave to no other, she reveled in the knowledge that here in her arms, Cam could relinquish the vigilance that occupied her every waking moment. Satisfied in a way she had never imagined, Blair surrendered to her own weariness and slept.

*

With trembling hands, Savard stroked Stark's face even as she shifted out from under her. "I'm sorry. I think I'm just too tired."

Heart pounding, her mind and body still absorbed with the urgent need to feel her lover's passion, Stark rolled away, panting. She captured Renee's hand as it stole between her thighs and drew it upward to her stomach, trapping it there. "No. I'm okay."

"Oh, sweetie, you're not. Let me touch you."

Stark shook her head, trying to gather the fragments of her reason. "No. Really." She pulled Renne into her arms and held her tightly. "I just missed you so much. I didn't mean to push."

"You weren't pushing, sweetie. I wanted you too." Savard's heart ached to hear the note of apology in her lover's voice. "God, it's just that 1 can't..." Feel anything. Only so cold inside, so numb, so disconnected from everything.

The awful void that had been flirting at the edges of her consciousness all week yawned before her, threatening to suck her into darkness, and a wave of dread rolled over her. She needed to feel something other than the horror, or she feared she would be lost. With a cry, Savard climbed on top of Stark and kissed her hard, thrusting her tongue deep inside her mouth. She dug her fingers into Stark's shoulders, desperate for connection, not even noticing when her lover flinched at the unexpected onslaught. Gasping, she drove her hips between Stark's legs. The pressure deep inside, born of panic rather than passion, was unbearable. Eyes closed, sweat beading her face, she forced herself upright on trembling arms and thrust wildly, but still her climax eluded her.

"Oh God, oh God," Savard moaned. "I can't, I can't."

"Renee," Stark soothed, cupping her face with both hands. "Baby. Honey. Easy, it's okay."

Mind and body screaming for release, Savard focused on Stark's voice and let the sound of love pull her back from the edge of that terrifying abyss. Her arms finally gave out and she collapsed into Stark's embrace. "Hold me, oh please, Paula, just hold me."

"I've got you," Stark whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around her and rocking her. She kissed her forehead, her eyes, her damp cheeks. She had no idea what was happening, but Renee was shaking uncontrollably, and that scared her more than just about anything ever had. "I'm right here. I'm right here. I love you."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Savard pushed her face into Stark's shoulder, her mouth open against the warm body—desperate for the taste of her skin, the comfort of her flesh.

"Don't say that." Stark stroked her face, her neck, her back. "Whatever you need, it's okay."

"Did I hurt you?"

Stark forced Savard's head up with a hand beneath her chin. "Renee," she said firmly. "Look at me." She waited until Renee opened her eyes and then kissed her, her own eyes open and holding her lover's gaze. "I love you. You didn't hurt me. You couldn't. But you 're hurting. Tell me what's happening, honey."

Savard's eyes burned with tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I think..." She looked away, retreating from the pain, then laughed shakily. "Just a, really lousy week."

"Yeah, I know." Stark searched her face, knowing there was more, and saw the fear shimmering in Savard's eyes. She forced herself to be patient. She guided Savard's head back to her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "Maybe you need a few days off."

"I can't. Not with this new assignment."

Stark chose her words carefully. "I think the Commander would probably understand—"

"No," Savard said sharply, pulling away from Stark's embrace. "This is too important. No one gets time off now. You know that, Paula."

"You're right," Stark said quietly, realizing that she would feel the same herself. Nothing could get her to take time off when the nation was at war. No matter what name was put to it, that was the situation. "I only thought—"

"I just need some sleep." Exhausted, Savard settled back down into Stark's arms.

"I can't stay tonight," Stark said miserably. "I want to."

"It's all right." Savard kissed her into silence, then turned on her side and pulled Stark's arm around her body. She clasped her lover's hand between her breasts. "Just hold me for a little while,"

Stark brushed her lips over the back of Savard's neck, wishing there were some way to reach into her heart and ease her pain. She gave the comfort of her body, praying that for now it would be enough. When she carefully slipped away an hour later, her lover was asleep. She left a note on the coffee table next to Savard's badge and gun.

I love you. See you soon.

The words seemed so inadequate, but they were all she had to give.

*

Blair drifted lazily upward through the mists of sleep, a gradual awareness of pleasure coalescing in her consciousness. She sighed and shifted restlessly, her body already nearing climax but her mind not yet registering what was happening. The muscles in her legs tightened as a shiver coursed through her spine, and she opened her eyes to the first whispers of orgasm. Unable to focus, she reached out blindly, finding first Cam's shoulder, then her face. She cupped Cam's cheek with trembling fingers and surged against her mouth, on the brink of exploding.

"I'm going to come," she said in wonder. And she closed her eyes again, drenched in pleasure. The ripples of release broke hard, one riding fast upon the next, each more intense than the last, and she cried out in surprise. Dimly, she felt Cam's fingers thread through hers, and she clutched the steady hand to anchor herself amidst the chaos.

When finally freed from the grip of her orgasm, she laughed weakly and tugged at Cam's hair. "You started without me."

"Mmm, guilty as charged." Cam worked her way up the bed and stretched out on top of Blair. She kissed her lightly, a tease of tongue over warm, soft lips. "Good morning."

"The best I've had in quite some time." Blair caught Cam's head in her hands as she pushed her thigh between Cam's legs, grinning when Cam jerked and caught her breath sharply. "I want to watch you come."

Cam groaned and rocked on Blair's leg, slicking her skin with the proof of her need. "Won't take.. .long."

"Keep your eyes open. Cam, Cam. Don't close your eyes." Blair was nearly breathless, desperate to absorb each glimmer of passion revealed in her lover's face. "So beautiful."

"Oh, God..."

The cell phone on the bedside table rang, and Cam groaned.

"Don't you dare," Blair warned.

The phone rang again, and with her last ounce of will, Cam pushed herself over onto her back and swept the phone up with a trembling hand.

"Roberts."

"Good morning, Agent Roberts," Lucinda Washburn said.

Cam stared at the ceiling, struggling to even out her breathing. "Ma'am."

Blair made a grab for the phone, and Cam curled onto her side, blocking her lover's arm. She felt Blair's teeth on the back of her shoulder and stifled a gasp.

"I've discussed the issue of temporary relocation with the security advisor, and we both agree it's a workable solution."

"Good. Thank you." Cam flinched away at a harder bite, grinning even as she started making mental plans for the move. "Is Stark aware? Because I'm sure Blair will want to leave today."