Radclyffe - Honor Reclaimed

"No." Cam hugged her. "I stayed because I needed to. Since the day I walked into that loft and saw you in that blue silk robe, I've been doing what I've needed to do instead of what I should have done."

"Sorry?" Blair made aimless patterns on Cam's stomach with her nails, listening hard for what lay beneath the surface of her lover's quiet musings. With Cameron, she had learned that the truth of what really lay in her heart was in all the things she did not say.

"Never," Cam said immediately. "But now you're safe, and there are things I need to do."

"You said that." Blair raked her nails harder across Cam's lower abdomen, eliciting a quiet groan. "Now explain."

"That distraction procedure is working too," Cam gasped.

"I know. I'm waiting."

Cam grabbed Blair's wrist and pressed her hand firmly against her stomach to stop the torture. "Your apartment building is a crime scene. I need to get a look at it first hand before there's nothing left of the evidence."

"God, Cam," Blair said in surprise. "The FBI must have been all over that place already. There's not going to be anything left that they haven't already analyzed."

"I don't let other agents do my investigating for me. Besides, they're FBI."

Blair laughed. "Don't let Renee Savard hear you say that."

"She's the exception."

"What else are you planning?"

"To talk to whichever of our people are still around." Cam's voice held an edge. "I'd like to hear their reports before the special inquiry begins."

"You think they'll be under a gag order not to discuss anything about what happened?"

"Ordinarily, not from me, but now that my status is in question, I don't want to put them at risk for disciplinary action if anyone finds out they briefed me."

"I doubt they would pass that information along to the Justice people."

"A week ago I would have been certain of that."

"You still trust them, don't you?"

"I trusted Foster too." The bitter acid of self-recrimination burned her throat as she said his name.

Blair heard the frustration and regret in Cam's voice. "Hey. You're not the bad guy here." She circled her fingers soothingly in the hollow between Cam's breasts. "Remember, you saved my life."

That was my job, my duty, and I almost blew it. God. Cam brushed her lips over Blair's hair, "I know. You're right."

"Once those interviews are done, you'll be finished up there?"

"I also want to talk to Diane."

Blair sat up quickly, the sheet falling away and leaving her breasts bare. "Diane? Why?"

Cam ran her fingers up and down Blair's arm, aware of the steel bands of tension beneath the velvet skin, "Because she's your best friend. Because there isn't a better source of information about you on the planet. Because someone might have approached her without her even realizing it, and if they did, I want to know."

"She would never hurt me."

"I know that. But sometimes we say things innocently, without realizing the implications."

Blair shook her head vehemently. "No, not Diane. She's known me my whole life, and she's always understood the security issues. Christ, she used to fine-tune my alibi in boarding school when I escaped from my security details to meet my girlfriends. She would never let anything slip."

"I'm sure you're right, but I have to check."

"Of course you do. And of course you have to do it all yourself." Blair tried to keep her voice light, because she didn't want Cam to know how very much she didn't want to be apart from her right then. She knew she was safe in the White House and probably anywhere else she might go with the heightened security she was sure to have, although she never really felt as safe with any of the other agents as she did with Cam. But that wasn't why she didn't want Cam to be gone long. The attack on the Aerie—no, the attack on her —was more frightening than she wanted to admit. Mere blocks away, thousands of unsuspecting, innocent people had died for a reason no rational person could fathom. She had always known the danger was there, lurking in the background like an ominous shadow, but this had brought her true vulnerability home with undeniable clarity. Life felt so very tenuous, and being with Cam was the only thing that made it right. "How long are you going to be gone?"

"I had thought a couple of days. But if you're coming up with your father tomorrow, I want to be there. I may come back with you, it depends."

"Cam, I'll have a full security detail. Why don't you just—"

"No." A public appearance this soon after the attack was ill advised, but Cam didn't want to say that, knowing that Blair was not about to change her mind. Frightening her would accomplish nothing.

"It will be a new detail with a new chief. I want to be by your side. I'll get the schedule when you're en route and meet your vehicle when you arrive downtown."

"Stark can handle it."

"I have no doubt. But she's going to have a new team. And I won't know them."

"If being with me tomorrow means you going back to the city again in a few days, then I'd rather you just do what you need to do and get it done. I'll be fine."

"It's not going to get done quickly, baby," Cam said gently. "That assault team was too well organized and too professional not to have known the risks of discovery if they failed. We're going to have to dig, and dig hard, to find out who they were. And even that may not tell us who sent them."

"How long, do you think?" Blair shivered, but the cold was deep inside. Despite her best efforts, not knowing who had wanted her dead gnawed at the edges of her awareness, threatening her comfort and peace of mind. But if the question was to go unanswered for weeks and months, leaving the threat of another attack hanging over her, her life would never be her own again. Nor might her lover. Blair feared that Cam might become so immersed in the hunt that she would lose her to it. "How long?"

"Weeks, probably months. You're shivering." Cam tucked the sheet around Blair's shoulders. "Or we could get a break and have an answer in days." When Blair shivered again, Cam pulled her back down beside her. "Hopefully, closer to the latter than the former. You okay?"

Wordlessly, Blair nodded. The course of their days, it appeared, had already been charted. As had so often been the case throughout her life, she had no choice but to commit to the journey. And this time, with her lover by her side, she hoped that she would not lose herself along the way. "When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I shower."

A half hour later, Blair walked Cam to the private entryway that the first family used to come and go without the scrutiny of the ever-present press.

"You'll call me?"

"Of course." Cam looked past Blair back into the White House. A guard stood ten feet away, staring in their direction but appearing to register nothing about their actions or conversation. She glanced over her shoulder to the expansive gardens, noting the distant sound of traffic. Her shoulders tightened.

"What's wrong?" Blair asked.

Cam shrugged and grinned ruefully. "We haven't been apart for a long time. It makes me uneasy."

Blair smiled. "Sometimes, Commander, you say the most wonderful things."

"I love you." Cam leaned forward in full view of the uniformed officer and kissed Blair softly. "See you soon."

Blair put both arms around Cam's neck and pressed against her. "Be careful."

Cam kissed her again. "You too."

*

The ground shook as a bomb detonated, and then she heard the thunder of incoming fire. The roar filled her head, so thick she couldn't breathe. She ran for cover, the smell and sound of destruction engulfing her. The air was a thick black blanket, nearly impenetrable. She ran blind, one arm stretched out in front of her, praying she wouldn't stumble down a dead-end alley or under the wheels of a vehicle. The whine of high-velocity projectiles assaulted her eardrums, and she knew with absolute certainty that she was going to die.