Radclyffe - Honor Under Siege

phone on the table next to the bed. “If Valerie cal s, she can reach you

there as wel as anywhere else.

“I

know.

“But youre hoping to see her here, arent you? Cam asked

gently. Diane sighed. “Am I that transparent?

“No. Id feel the same way if I were you. Cams chest tightened just

thinking about Blair suddenly disappearing with no word. Perhaps

forever. But she couldnt make command decisions based on what she

felt, or how deeply she ached for Dianes pain. No one would be safe

then.

“Sit down, Diane said, indicating the bed. “Youve had a dif icult night.

Cam grinned as she sat on the foot of the bed. “You saw her today,

didnt you?

“Is that why you and Blair were

fighting?

“Nice evasive maneuver, Cam murmured. Assuming that Blair

wouldnt mind Diane knowing what had gone on between them, she

answered honestly. “We were fighting because I thought she should

have told me about Valerie showing up today and she didnt.

“Im

sorry.

“You dont need to be. Blair and I dont always see things the same way,

but I

understand why she made the decision she

did.

Diane studied Cam curiously. “And that makes it al

right?

“No, Cam laughed. “But it usual y means I dont stay angry

very long.

“Shes

lucky.

“That works both

ways.

“Youre right. I did see Valerie. She was at The White House today.

Diane smiled fleetingly at Cams look of consternation. “Its a boutique

in Georgetown. We talked for a few minutes.

“Did she say where she was

staying? Diane shook her head.

“Phone

number?

Again, Diane shook her

head.

“Did she say why shes

hiding?

“No. But I got the distinct impression that she was in trouble, serious

trouble.

“What

kind

of

trouble?

Diane picked at the corner of the book in her lap, recal ing Valeries

haunted look and the way shed reacted when the stranger came into the

stairwel . When she met Cams calm gaze hers was cut through with

anguish. “She acted as if someone was going to hurt her.

“I need to talk to her. You need to tel her that. Tel her if she meets

with me, she can walk away no mat er what she tel s me.

“Do you real y think she betrayed you? Or our country? After helping

you in the first place? Dianes voice trembled and she looked away,

biting her lip. “How can you think that when youve held her?

Cams stomach churned, and for an instant she remembered the dark

nights that might have been endless if it hadnt been for Valerie. Claire ,

as she knew her then. Claires tenderness and her uncanny ability to

absolve guilt without demanding explanations had kept her together

when everything inside was breaking.

“They recruited her when she was a teenager, Cam said. “Part

of the indoctrination is to isolate the recruits from everyone outside the

system. Family, friends, everyone. Your handler becomes your

primary point of contact for everythinghe or she becomes your

emotional and physical touchstone. Sometimes no one else even

knows your name. Soon you forget you ever had another life.

“What are you saying? Dianes expression verged on horror. “That shes

been brainwashed?

“No, only that shes been trainedrelentlessly and expertly conditionedto

fol ow orders without question. How else do you think a woman like

Valerie could have done the things shes done in the name of her

country?

“She didnt make love to you for her

country.

Cam flinched but kept her eyes level on Dianes. “Maybe not after the

first time.

“Im sorry. Im just so worried about her. Diane pushed her hair back

from her face with an unsteady hand. “And I know that she needs your

help or something terrible is going to happen to her. Please, Cam. Dont

abandon her.

“I want to find her, Cam said vehemently. She leaned forward, her hand

flat on the bed next to Dianes ankle. “Until we get the real people behind

the at ack on Blair at the Aerie, Valerie is in danger. And if Valerie is in

danger, so are youand so is Blair.

“Blair isnt in danger if Im not with her. Diane swung her legs of the

bed and jumped to her feet. “Il leave now.

Cam rose and caught Dianes shoulders as she rushed toward the closet.

“No. Youre staying with us.

Diane spun around to face Cam and tried to push her away. “Let

me go.

“Diane. Cam ignored the screaming pain in her shoulder as Diane

fought her. “Youre not alone. And neither is she.

“Oh, Diane gasped, tears fil ing her eyes. “Im so

frightened.

Cam gathered her close, stroking Dianes hair as Diane buried her face

against her shoulder. “Its going to be okay.

After a moment of silent sobs, Diane leaned away from Cam and

brushed at her cheeks. Shakily, she said, “Ive always wondered what it

would feel like for you to hold me.

“Overrated,

probably.

Diane

smiled.

“No.

Cam eased her grip and stepped back. “If she cal s you, tell her

Ill bring you to her. Tell hertell her to go to the first place she

and I met.

“Why? Why would you do that? It has to be breaking some

kind of rule or other.

“There are no rules anymore,

Diane. “I trust you.

“Thank you.

Diane wrapped her arms around herself. “Oh God, what if

she doesnt call me? What if she doesnt trust me?

Cam paused at the door. “If she risked exposure today to see

you, shell cal , and soon. Give her my message. And then come

and get me.

* * * * *

“Do you really think Valeries going to call her? Blair asked

after

Cam described the conversation.

“I do. Probably tonight. Cam unzipped her jeans and pushed

them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor. She sat

on the side of the bed and unbuttoned her shirt. Blair, in a

threadbare T- shirt, was already under the covers.

“If she does, youre not going, Blair said, lifting the sheets.

Cam slipped underneath with a sigh. Turning onto her uninjured

left side, she pil owed her head against her bent arm and

smiled tiredly at Blair. “Lets get some sleep, baby.

Blair caressed Cams cheek. “Yes. You need it. And youre still

not going out if she calls.

“I

love

you.

“I love you too. And youre still not

going.

“If I dont, Diane is either going to try to get to her herself,

or Valeries going to risk another rendezvous with Diane. Either

way, theyll both be vulnerable if Valerie is a target.

“I hate it when youre reasonable.

Cam smiled. “I know. I do it just to make you

crazy.

Blair kissed her. “Its working. She slid an arm beneath

Cams shoulder and drew her closer, pil owing Cams head

against her breast. “How are you feeling?

“Not that bad. The ibuprofen final y kicked

in. “Why cant Valerie come here?

“Because youre here, Cam mumbled. “Too hard to secure.

“Why cant she come to Whitley Point?

“What? Cam said, her mind fuzzy with near

sleep.

“You said yourself Whitley Point is going to be far easier

to

defend.

Blair waited in the silence, caressing Cams neck and

shoulders. Eventual y when she realized Cam was asleep, she

turned off the light and closed her eyes. She drifted on the

border between sleep and consciousness, some part of her

needing to feel Cam in her arms, to know that she was safe. A