Sallinger, Elene - Reflection (The Chrysalis Series)

It had been bad enough that she’d come away from her experience at Trent’s hands feeling as if she’d deserved what happened to her. She hadn’t been willing to put herself through the public humiliation of having it confirmed. Then, as if the rape wasn’t lesson enough, the baby had been the final crack in her confidence.

Trent hadn’t used a condom. He’d impregnated her that day. This was before the use of the “morning-after pill” was widely available. When she’d found out she was pregnant, there had been no consideration for her. She’d decided to have an abortion. She wasn’t going to bear the child of violence. She wouldn’t even consider it.

She’d located a nearby clinic and arranged to have the abortion. During the procedure, she’d seized in reaction to the anaesthesia they’d given her. Her uterus was perforated. The resulting damage meant she’d be more likely to win the lottery than to ever carry a baby to term.

The loss of her dream of being a mother had done her in. For the first time, she’d felt helpless, powerless. That was when the idea that she was being punished for her experimentation with Doug had come to her. Those seeds had taken root and she’d been unable to shake them. That, more than the rape itself, had changed her life in ways she still suffered from today. In the aftermath, the greatest damage that had been done to her was that she’d begun to question her own judgment. Where Trent hadn’t been able to hurt her body, his act of violence had succeeded in damaging her psyche.

She felt the same way now. Helpless. Powerless. Whittier was backing her into a corner and she wanted to fight. She just didn’t know how. She’d never been a quitter and she wasn’t quitting now. But how did she expose him for the scum he was and not lose her job? She would not be vilified when she was in the right.

There had to be a way. There had to be.

With no answer forthcoming, Bridget took her dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, setting the timer to run well after she was asleep.

A long, hot bath did nothing to spur inspiration. With a troubled heart, she drifted off to sleep.

Skyler sat in her Jeep in front of the River Rock Medical Building. She had no idea how long she’d been there. She only knew her hands were aching from clutching the steering wheel. She was definitely late for her appointment, but, no matter what she told herself, she was unable to summon the will to leave her car.

Clearing her mind of all thought, she reached for the keys still dangling in the ignition and started the car. With no clear destination in mind, she began to drive.

After what seemed like for ever but was only about 15 minutes, she found herself in the parking lot for Pratt Hall, Pinewood’s chemistry building. The irony was not lost on her that she’d come to where it had all begun for her.

She’d seen him for the first time walking these very halls. His attention toward her had been so flattering. She’d seen him as a charismatic genius. When they’d run into each other at the coffee shop, she’d been completely swept away by his caring consideration for her. The way he treated her as an equal.

She’d given him her virginity.

Nausea flooded her at that thought. She’d given the most intimate gift she had to give to a monster. A monster who didn’t deserve to continue. Skyler had always been a gentle soul. She’d always been the peacemaker in her group. Right now, though, she’d gladly murder the dean and not think twice about it.

He’d made her believe she was special to him, but now she saw what he was really about. She’d never been anything other than a piece of ass for him to exploit and now he was using her scholarship to control her. Her parents couldn’t afford to send her to college. The only thing that had allowed her to go was that she’d won this scholarship and it had clear rules.

No other university had offered her enough aid to cover the full cost of tuition, and her father’s cab driver salary simply didn’t cut it. Not when there was still her little sister at home. Her mother worked in a day care centre. It was a loving, but very poor home. The scholarship to Pinewood had seemed a gift from God.

Now, it was her prison. She would not let Dale Whittier keep her from her dreams. She simply wouldn’t. The question was what to do? How to show the true monster he was and not lose her scholarship?

With those questions bouncing around her brain, Skyler left her Jeep and went in search of the person who’d promised help.

‘Professor Ross?’

Bridget startled at Skyler’s voice in the quiet of her office. She’d been working late, grading mid-term exams, trying to wrap them up so that her weekend would be free. She was having dinner with Connor tomorrow night and she didn’t want them lingering around over the weekend, tempting her to work.

‘Skyler.’ She smiled in welcome even as she waved her into a chair. ‘What can I do for you? I’m afraid I haven’t quite finished grading exams so I don’t have your score yet.’

Skyler closed and locked the door behind her before taking the seat offered. There was a look of intensity on her face that had Bridget feeling edgy. Something wasn’t right; Bridget always kept her door open, but she wasn’t sure what was going on right now and she’d wait and see.

‘Is everything OK, Skyler?’ Bridget stacked the exams she’d been grading and put them in a file folder before setting them inside her desk drawer.

‘No, Professor. Things aren’t OK, and I just don’t know what to do. I don’t even think you can help me, but I just can’t keep this to myself any longer. I –’ She cut herself off as tears welled in her eyes. ‘I’m pregnant, Professor.’

Sympathy bloomed inside Bridget. Being pregnant at such a young age was never easy.

‘Does the father know?’ Bridget pulled a box of tissues out of her desk and came around to offer Skyler one before indicating she should come with her over to the small sofa in her office.

Skyler snorted inelegantly and nodded. Once they had settled in more comfortably, she continued, ‘Yeah, he knows. He doesn’t want it. He’s demanding I get an abortion.’

‘Is that what you want?’

Tears streamed down Skyler’s face as she wadded the tissue in her hands. ‘I don’t really know. I haven’t stopped to think about it. He’s been threatening me and I was just going along with it. But I couldn’t do it. I was supposed to be there now. I just sat in my car. I couldn’t get out. It was like him winning if I did that.’

‘How is he threatening you, darlin’?’ Trepidation raged through Bridget as suspicion took root.

‘He’s using my scholarship as leverage. He’s threatening to take it away from me.’

Skyler barely got the words out as sobs began wracking her body. Bridget pulled the larger girl into a hug and simply held her as she cried. She wept the tears of the helpless, the sobs of the powerless. Huge, gulping cries that leave a person weary to the bone.

When she finally quieted, Bridget took a tissue and gently wiped her face.

‘Feel better, sugar?’

‘No.’ Skyler gave a mirthless laugh. ‘But I don’t feel like I’m going to shake apart any more.’

‘That’s a start.’ She let Skyler go as the girl sat up and scrubbed at her face.

‘Who is it, Skyler? Who has this kind of hold over you?’ Bridget held her breath as she waited.

Skyler slowly turned to look at Bridget. Her brown eyes were assessing and cool. ‘You already know, don’t you?’

Bridget shook her head in denial. ‘I suspect. I don’t know.’

‘Dean Whittier.’ Skyler’s tone was flat and hard. ‘I began sleeping with him at the beginning of the term. It was stupid and cliché. I was flattered by the attention of an older man. He took advantage of my stupidity and used me. God,’ she wailed, ‘the things he made me do. After a while, I had second thoughts. He’d become cold and mean. He seemed to always be so critical of me. I tried to break it off.’