Sallinger, Elene - Reflection (The Chrysalis Series)

Bridget watched Connor fade from view in her mirror and contemplated the danger she was in. She hadn’t lied. He hadn’t done anything wrong. The problem was her. She’d come too close to losing herself with him.

Something about that man ate at her self-control. His mouth on her body had been delicious and she’d wanted so much more. Too much. The ache he’d created had burrowed in deep and low and she’d wanted him rougher, wilder. Dammit, she’d almost demanded he bite her.

She couldn’t allow herself to go there.

Impotent fury washed through her and she pounded the steering wheel. This wasn’t fair! She was a good woman. She went out of her way to be. She’d never asked for this!

Dammit! Why couldn’t she make this go away?

As if in answer to her question, the memories rose up suffocating her. Quickly, she pulled to the side of the road and fought the smothering sensation overtaking her . No. No. No!

She wasn’t having this. Not here. Not now.

Gripping the steering wheel as if her life depended on it, she concentrated on taking deep, full breaths until her head cleared and she could once again focus.

Forcing the memories away, she threw the car into gear, and drove on without another glance backward.

‘Thanks for a great meeting, everyone!’ Jean, the group moderator, grinned and enthusiastically clapped her hands. ‘Evan has provided some refreshments for us all. Same time next week, and we’ll be reading Sandra Brown’s Where There’s Smoke .’

Bridget, Claire, and Mona grabbed cookies and coffee then headed over to the leather club chairs surrounding a low wooden coffee table in the centre of the bookshop. The rest of the group mingled and browsed through the store, taking their treats with them and grabbing up their selections before heading out into late evening.

Evan, Claire’s husband, always made sure to get this area back together for them since they had started making a habit of hanging out well after the book club ended. She and Claire had met and grown close through this club over the last year and they rarely missed a meeting. About six months before, Bridget had finally dragged Mona to one and she’d become a regular, joining both the club meeting and their little duet. The three of them had become extremely close over the months and she counted both of them as her two closest friends.

While she waited, Bridget contemplated the text she’d just received for what had to be the 50th time.

Unable to get reservations. My place for dinner.

8 p.m. The Lofts @ Warehouse 21. #2.

He wanted her to come to his house for dinner. She wasn’t sure she was ready to go there with him. Public places were safe. Well, safer at any rate.

‘OK, miss, spill,’ Claire said as they settled into their chairs. Mona took the opposite seat, gazing at Bridget with clear concern.

Bridget nearly spit out the coffee she was sipping at the complete non sequitur. ‘What are you talking about?’

Claire raised an eyebrow before continuing. ‘Don’t play innocent with me.’ She set her water and cookies on the table. ‘You’ve been fidgeting all night. If you’d shifted position one more time I was going to take you in the back and demand an explanation.’ She leaned back and, crossing her legs, levelled her hazel eyes on Bridget. ‘Jean could barely get your attention when she was asking your take on Christian Grey’s character and you didn’t join in unless specifically asked. Not. Like. You. M’dear.’ Each word was punctuated with a shake of her finger.

Claire was right. She’d been unable to concentrate on the discussion of 50 Shades of Grey . Her mind had continued to wander to Connor.

She was not herself when it came to him. Bridget was a very controlled woman. She knew who she was and she operated by a set of rules. One of which was that she did not go chasing down men. Another was that she did not have spontaneous sexual encounters with men she barely knew. She’d broken both of those rules with Connor.

When she’d seen him on campus she’d reacted just as strongly as she had on the jogging trail. She’d just taken off after him. She hadn’t even thought about what she was doing. All she knew was that she wanted to get to him. But when she was finally standing in front of him, she’d been at a complete loss. He’d been ogling her breasts, but worst of all she’d wanted him to.

She’d been tempted to preen and arch, run a finger down the collar of her blouse and watch his eyes follow it. She’d been breathless under his perusal, feeling heat every place his eyes touched. She didn’t approve of her wanton reactions to him. It was out of character and, frankly, it bothered her deeply.

And him! He hadn’t even tried to hide the fact that he was blatantly eyeing her. He’d admitted it and been completely unapologetic. He’d been laughing at her, playing on her sympathies for having caused him damage. Dang it, she wasn’t even sure if she had caused him damage, but she’d felt compelled to invite him to coffee.

That had been a shock. She didn’t invite strangers out. Period. The men she’d dated in her life had all been friends of friends, or people she got to know over time before they began dating. She’d never gone out with a stranger in her life, let alone been so bold as to ask a man out. This may be the 21st century, but Bridget had been raised with old world sensibilities. Her mother had drilled into her head that only loose women with no morals pursued a man.

For herself, Bridget felt it was perfectly OK for a woman to ask a man out and to take the lead if that’s what she wanted to do. It just wasn’t something she did. In fact, not since high school had she been so taken with a man that she felt the desire to pursue him.

And that picnic. Hell’s bells! She still went hot at the memory of what they’d done. What she’d done, more specifically. She’d rutted over him like an animal in heat and had loved every single minute of it. Too dang much. She’d almost lost control.

That, more than anything, scared her. She was in completely unknown territory with this man. What if she was reading him wrong? What if he was just better at manipulating her? What if she was setting herself up because she wanted to see something there that wasn’t there? What if –

Snap. Snap. ‘Hello.’ Claire was leaning forward, her frown even deeper. ‘Bridget, you’re worrying me. What’s going on?’

‘Nothing! Seriously.’ Taking a steadying breath, Bridget said, ‘He wants me to come over for dinner rather than going out. Says he can’t get reservations.’

‘The boy toy?’ Claire asked.

Bridget nodded and flushed at the ribbing about his age and handed her iPhone to Claire, who read the text before handing it back to Bridget.

‘You gonna go?’ she asked around a bit of cookie.

‘I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to be alone with him in his apartment. I don’t really know him that well.’

‘Hon, don’t you think you’re being just a little bit paranoid?’

‘How so?’ Indignation welled in Bridget at Claire’s suggestion. Claire knew her history.

‘If Connor had wanted to hurt you, he had the perfect opportunity to do so when he took you to that manor house. You two were alone out there. It was miles out of town and no one would have been able to help you.’

‘True,’ Mona said. ‘I had all the info on where to find him, but nothing on where you two were going.’ Polishing off the last of her cookies, Mona took Bridget’s hand. ‘I think you need to be honest with yourself here, and stop using Connor as an excuse.’

Bridget pulled her hand away from Mona, snapping, ‘What do you mean?’