Kim Pritekel: Crossing Lines

"Kansas?" she asked softly, scooting closer to the blonde. "Oh, sweetie," she whispered, gathering the girl in her arms. "I'm sorry," she said into thick, blonde hair. She allowed the girl to cry against her, tears chilling the flesh above Nina's right breast as she lay back, pulling Kansas with her. As she cuddled the teen in her comforting embrace, she thought back to her own childhood, and when her parents had split.

"I'm sorry,' Kansas said eventually, trying to pull away, but held tight. "I'm being such a kid."

"No, you're not," Nina soothed, kissing the top of her head. "You're someone who's had her heart broken."

"I don't wanna cry over him, Nina," Kansas sniffled. "He doesn't deserve that much from me. I don't care about him."

"Yes you do."

"Why did he leave, Nina?" Kansas' voice was so soft, so small, the brunette barely heard it.

"Why, indeed?" the attorney murmured, staring up into the sky as she combed her fingers through Kansas' hair. The girl had calmed, though still cuddled against her. The words came to her head, and suddenly, she couldn't stop. "Sometimes a person realizes that they're not happy, that what they truly thought they wanted, and who they truly thought they wanted it with, are two different things. We lie to ourselves, Kansas. We lie all the time, convincing ourselves of one thing, when in fact, we took the easy road, or what looked to be the least bumpy."

Kansas raised her head, looking down at Nina, who still stared up at the stars, seemingly unaware that the blonde had moved. She watched Nina as she spoke, gaze following the movement of lips and teeth, the way the brunette's expressions changed with every thought in her head.

"One day it hits us, right between the eyes," Nina continued, "If I stay here one minute more, I'll die inside." Her eyes finally met Kansas'. "Then we stay anyway."

Kansas brought her own hand up, gently pushing a tuft of grass away from Nina's ear. "You're not happy, are you?" she asked, though to the practiced ear, it was very much a statement. Nina blinked up at her for a moment, as though trying to filter the softly-spoken words through her brain.

"I've made my bed, Kansas," she said at length. She couldn't break the intense, green gaze of the woman leaning over her, nor could she breathe. Her heart was pounding, blood rushing through her system at frightening speeds.

Kansas wasn't sure if she was relived at or cursing the neighbor's dog that began to bark in the yard adjacent to Nina's. The spell was broken, the night expanding beyond just the two of them once more.

"Speaking of bed," Nina said, sitting up and brushing grass out of her hair. She stood, holding a hand out for Kansas to take. "I should be in mine." She helped the blonde to her feet, then pulled her into a gentle hug. "Everything will be okay, sweetheart," she whispered into Kansas' ear. She felt the teen nod, then moved away. They exchanged quiet, knowing smiles, then went separate ways.

"Everything okay?" Dan mumbled as Nina climbed back into bed.

"It's fine. Go to sleep." It was a long time before the brunette did.

***

Kansas was nearly skipping as she made her way back to her house and bedroom. As much of a high as she was on, she hit nearly equally bottom when she discovered her mother standing in the middle of her bedroom, Nina's drawings in her hands. The blood drained out of the teen's face, making her nearly as pale as her mother.

Marina turned to see her daughter standing in the doorway, her eyes filled with fear. Then all hell broke loose.

"What the hell are you doing in my room!" the blonde demanded, storming over to the stunned older woman and snatching the drawings from her hands. "And what are you doing going through my stuff?!"

Marina shook herself out of her shocked stupor. "First off, this is my house, Kansas. Second of all," she reached for the drawings, which were moved out of her reach. "What are you doing drawing naked women? What is that woman," she indicated the house across the way, "letting my teenaged daughter draw her naked for!?"

"Nothing! These are private to me. You had no right." Not only was Kansas afraid of what her mother would say or do, but she felt horribly violated. "We did nothing wrong-{

"Nothing wrong? Kansas, that is a naked woman! And not only that, but it's a naked woman who is married, and ten years older than you! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking she's a beautiful woman and I'd like to draw her!" Kansas could feel her eyes stinging, anger and embarrassment warring. Her anger won out as tears escaped down her cheeks. "She did nothing wrong," she sniffled. "I added the embellishments." She turned her back on her mother, not wanting Marina to see her upset and embarrassment.

The elder blonde stood there, stunned anew. "Honey," she said, voice soft. She tried to put a hand on her daughter's shoulder, but Kansas pulled away.

"Don't touch me."

Marina took a deep breath, then tried again. "Kansas, she is a married woman. You're going to get yourself hurt-"

Kansas turned, green eyes vibrant from her tears. She glared. "They're just drawings, Mother." With those growled words, the blonde teen left the room, taking the drawings with her.

***

Marina sat at the table in the cafeteria, absently bringing food to her mouth. She was lost in her own head, thoughts turned to her daughter and the erotic drawings she'd found two nights ago when she'd gotten up to go to the bathroom. Seeing Kansas' bedroom light on at three-thirty in the morning, she had wanted to make sure her child was okay. If she was, she was going to tell her to get to bed. When she'd found the bedroom empty, light on and drawings sprawled across Kansas' bed, Marina had been stunned.

"Are you okay?"

Marina blinked rapidly as she looked up, noting the concerned look on her friend's face as she sat down, unzipping her cloth lunch box. "Oh. Yeah. Just thinking." She smiled at her friend, but it was weak.

"What is it, Marina? Problems with your ex?" At the shake of her friend's head, Tonya tried again. "Kansas?"

"Alex is 15, right?" Marina asked, throwing her friend and co-worker of three years for a loop with the non-sequitur.

Tonya nodded. "Yeah."

Marina took a drink from her coffee as she thought about what she wanted to ask. Her brows were drawn in deep concentration. "So, let's say Alex was an artist."

Tonya laughed at the absurdity of that statement. Her son didn't have a creative bone in his body. Seeing Marina's seriousness, she nodded again. "Okay. . . "

"Now let's say that you have a neighbor who lives close by. Someone older- much older- that Alex spends some time with."

"Okay," Tonya drawled, still not putting the pieces together.

"One day you find drawings in his room," she met her friend's confused gaze, "And you found nudes of the neighbor." She paused, watching Tonya's expression carefully before continuing. "What would you do?"

Tonya sat back in her chair, shocked. She could tell by the look in Marina's eyes that she was deeply bothered. "Whoa." She blew out a breath. "Has something happened, Marina?"

"I don't know." Kansas' mother picked at her food before finally giving up and leaning back in her own chair. "I found some drawings in her room." She met a concerned gaze. "Tonya, Nina is ten years older than Kansas."

"But, Marina, you know that Kansas is an artist, unlike my highly un talented son."

"I know. And Kansas said she was the one who embellished the drawings. Not that I really know what that means."

"Do you think that maybe it means this woman did maybe sit for her, but that Kansas kinda. . . " she thought about what was the best way to say it. "I don't know, used her imagination?"