Kim Pritekel - Crossing Lines

Something inside Kansas made her stop, a feeling of something being wrong, off, somehow. She pulled back, both women gasping for air. She took several deep breaths before looking up into confused, hooded blue eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, running trembling hands through her hair. "I have to know something."

"What?" Nina asked, body buzzing and alive.

"Why"

The brunette was utterly confused, and getting frustrated as her body was making demands that only Kansas could keep. "Why what?"

"Why wouldn't you sleep with your girlfriend?"

Taken aback, Nina stared at the blonde. "What? Why?"

"I need to know. Why?" She couldn't explain it to herself, let alone the bemused woman standing in front of her. She had a tickle in the back of her brain that told her she needed to know the answer to this question.

Nina moved slightly away, suddenly feeling very embarrassed by the answer she'd have to give Kansas. Here she was 34, and a virgin with women. "I didn't want to just give that to her," she said softly, her back to the blonde.

"What do you mean?" Kansas walked around the kitchen island until she was standing face to face with Nina.

"I've never been with a woman, Kansas." She smiled ruefully at the look of shock she received. "I know. Been out for three years and still haven't gone all the way. Crazy, right?"

Kansas shook her head. "No. I don't get it, but no. Not crazy. But why?"

"Why do you sleep around so much?"

Kansas was taken aback by the non-sequitur. "Uh, I guess I just haven't found the right one." As she spoke, the light of understanding flared to life. She nodded. "I see." Wow, did she ever feel like a shit. Hands stuffed into the back pockets of her jeans, she took a step back. "I should probably go, Nina."

The brunette nodded. She'd had enough humiliation for one night. "Yeah. Probably so."

"Listen, why don't you come to my place Friday night. I'll make you dinner." Kansas continued at Nina's confused expression. "We need to talk, I think."

Nina nodded in agreement. "Okay. Give me the details and I'll be there."

***

The work week was good, but long, as usual. Nina sat on a stone bench on campus and watched the students and faculty around her. Her eye caught two girls walking together. Nina was pleased to see that they were holding hands. She watched the couple, noting how comfortable they were with each other. She missed that, having someone in her life who knew her better than anyone. Someone she could cuddle with and tell her dreams to. She had to laugh at herself with that last one- she'd never had that. Certainly not with Dan, and since him, she'd not really let anyone get close enough.

With a heavy sigh, Nina pushed up from the bench, tucking the tests she'd been grading under her arm, and heading off toward her office. She could feel autumn in the air, and it was brisk.

***

Kansas honestly couldn't say why she was nervous for Nina to see her place, but she was. She had spent the day cleaning an already spotless house, and making sure dinner was perfect. She truly had no conscious thoughts of what she expected or wanted to come of this, but she was determined to get it going on the right foot.

Glancing at the clock over the stove once more, Kansas saw that Nina was due in five minutes. Take a deep breath, she walked into the dining room where she'd placed two table settings, candles at the ready. She nearly jumped out of her skin when the doorbell sounded. Blowing out a steadying breath, Kansas padded over to the front door and pulled it open.

Nina smiled a greeting, taking in the blonde's comfy jeans, light-weight sweater and bare feet. She was glad she, too had chosen to keep it simple in jeans and a long-sleeve tee. "Hi," she said.

"Hi. Welcome and come in." Kansas stepped aside, waiting for her guest to enter. She hadn't seen her all week, and after seeing her several times in as many days, she had really missed the brunette.

Nina entered the modest ranch-style house. Though it was dark out, Nina hadn't noticed too many houses nearby. "This is really beautiful, Kansas," she said, taking in the gorgeous wood accents and pine furniture. She hadn't expected something so rugged from an artist, instead thinking it would be all metal and glass contemporary, like the gallery.

"Thanks," Kansas tossed over her shoulder, leading Nina toward the dining room. I hope you're hungry. I made a ton. Hope baked chicken is okay."

"Yeah. Sounds terrific."

"Great!" Once they'd arrived in the formal room, Kansas got her guest settled, then looked around. It was so damn. . . formal . "You know what, I'm sorry, Nina. This just isn't me. Grab your plate." She nodded toward the kitchen, where she headed, plate in hand. Confused, Nina did the same. In the kitchen, Kansas began to dish food that smelled heavenly. "I'm sorry," she said with a sheepish grin. "I hate that room. I don't know why I set up in there. Do you mind?" she asked, a hopeful brow raised. Nina chuckled, amused.

"No. I don't mind. Where to?"

Plates loaded, Kansas led them down a narrow hall, which led to a glassed in back patio. The blonde flicked on a light- beyond was a garden filled with just about every type of flower and plant that would grow in Colorado. Much of it was starting to die for the coming cold, but it was still beautiful.

Nina gasped in surprise. "God, this is so gorgeous, Kansas." Setting her plate down, she walked over to one of the huge windows that overlooked the garden. "Bet all the women you bring home love this, huh?" she asked, teasing in her voice. Kansas stepped up beside her, a small quirk of her lip.

"Wouldn't know. I've never brought a woman here before."

"Why not?"

"Because this is my sanctuary. Where I go to be me." She glanced briefly at Nina before returning her gaze back to her pride and joy- next to her art studio.

Nina had a question on her tongue, but decided to stow it. "Then I'm honored." She smiled at the sheepish blonde. "Come on," she said. "Let's eat."

As they settled in comfortable loungers, the women were silent, contemplating the night beyond and the food on their plates. After awhile, Nina glanced at her dinner hostess.

"Michael told me you left college." Once she saw she had Kansas' attention, she continued. "Why?"

Kansas shrugged as she chewed the bit of chicken in her mouth. She downed some of her beer with it. "I guess I just felt college wasn't really helping me. I honestly believe that if you have a natural talent- painting, playing the guitar, writing- college can actually be a hindrance. I was tired of waiting, you know?"

Nina nodded, wiping her mouth with a napkin. "I can see that. Unfortunately, what I'm good at required extensive education."

"And, what was that?"

"Arguing," Nina grinned.

"I'll drink to that!" Kansas clinked her glass bottle against the brunette's glass of water. They sat on in companionable silence for awhile before Kansas broke the still. "So, when did you come out? How did it happen?" She eyed her friend over her beer as she drank.

"Hmm, how did it happen," Nina murmured with a sigh as she set her plate aside. "Well, after I left Dan and Ohio, I dated a couple guys off and on, but more off than on." She wrinkled her nose at the memory. "One day I realized that I was lying to myself, always had been, so headed out to a local gay club. Ended up dancing with a few different women and had the time of my life."

"But you never dated anyone seriously since then?"

Nina shook her head. "No."

"Damn," Kansas sat back in her chair, shoving her plate to the side table. "How hasn't someone snapped you up?"

"Guess I'm just lucky." Nina grinned. She pushed up from the lounger. "Give me a tour of this place. It looks beautiful."

"It is. I love it here." Kansas stacked their plates, and with the help of Nina, brought everything inside. Within moments they had the kitchen cleaned up, and the tour began. Kansas took Nina out back, through the gardens, explaining what everything was. As they walked through the gorgeous plants and flowers, Nina couldn't help but glance up at the blonde from time to time. She glanced up again, but this time her gaze was caught by Kansas. The blonde met and held her gaze for a long moment, neither able or willing to look away. Finally the blonde broke the contact, leading them further into her sanctuary.