Daniel Abraham - Inside Straight

“He’s young and an ace with a very formidable power,” Noel continued. “The boy wants tuxedos, martinis shaken not stirred, and trysts with beautiful and dangerous women.” He gave Rustbelt a blazing smile. “You’d do much better joining the Order of the Silver Helix.”

“Oh. So, what’s that then?” Rustbelt asked.

“The British Secret Service.”

“Wally is an American,” Straight Arrow said shortly.

Rustbelt’s ponderous head, with its steam shovel jaws, swung between them.

“Ah, but we’re such good allies. You wouldn’t mind my poaching just a teensy bit?” Noel turned back to Rustbelt. “Think about it, old man. I could sign you up right now.”

“I thought you were a magician,” Rustbelt said in his absurd accent.

Noel laid a finger next to his nose. “Ah, that’s my cover, don’t you know. Travel to exotic locales, first-class accommodations. You’d love it.”

“Now that sounds like a heckuva deal.”

“He’s a joker ,” Straight Arrow snapped.

With Rustbelt’s metal skin no blush was readable, but the hick shuffled his feet, setting up a tooth-grating shriek on the marble floor.

“Ace, Nephi, ace,” Noel reproved. “One might almost think you’re prejudiced.” Straight Arrow could blush. The blood washed into his face, turning his cheeks brick red. Just one more little twist , Noel thought. He laid a hand on Rustbelt’s shoulder. “No, Wally is an ace, and a very powerful one at that. You know, you’re far and away the most interesting ace in this mix. The others are all just flash and dazzle.”

“You should know,” Straight Arrow said, and the words had to fight to escape from between his clenched teeth.

Noel ignored the SCARE ace. “I think it’s a travesty that you were voted off so early, but jealousy, alas, is all too common. We should discuss this over a drink. They have a very nice bar at the Beverly Hills Hotel. We can get to know each other…better.”

“He’s not recruiting you,” Nephi warned Rustbelt. “He’s making fun of you, and you’re falling for it. Don’t be a rube.” The government ace drew in a sudden, audible breath, as if trying to suck back the words. But it was far too late. He might blame Noel, but it was Straight Arrow who had uttered the insult.

Rustbelt shifted from foot to foot and the big head drooped. “Oh, gosh—well, a guy should think about this. It’s all pretty confusing. It’s getting late, don’t you know, so I oughta head out. …” His voice trailed away and he bolted at a run for the doors to the restaurant. The marble cracked under his pounding feet.

The truth was that Straight Arrow had been trying to protect the young man. Nobility was always so easy to manipulate.

Nephi stared at Noel. “You are the very devil,” he finally said. Noel smiled and took a little bow. A reluctant smile briefly touched the American’s lips. “Flint should have had you in Cairo. You’re more evil and cunning than the Ikhlas al-Din. You might have prevented that mess developing in Egypt.”

It was one of those compliments that held a slap. Noel smiled. “And how do you know we didn’t engineer it?” he countered, but it was hollow, and Straight Arrow knew it.

By tacit agreement they left the lobby, stepped down the dead-end hallway that led to the restrooms, and into the men’s room. “Then you’d be incompetent instead of asleep at the switch.” Straight Arrow glanced quickly beneath the doors to the stalls. For the moment, they were alone. “There are reports of rioting in the joker quarter of Alexandria, and whispers of wholesale murder of the followers of the Old Religion in Port Said and the necropolis of Cairo.” He blew out a breath, and ran a hand through his graying hair. “I don’t know why the imams and mullahs are reacting so violently. It’s a totally made-up religion.”

“Aren’t they all?” Noel asked, and watched Straight Arrow’s lips thin. “And it’s not totally about religion. The Twisted Fists killed the Nur. The street is angry.”

“We’ve got some intelligence that suggests the Fists weren’t behind the murder, but the new Caliph won’t believe anything we tell him.”

“I don’t expect Abdul will be in power for long. Prince Siraj and the other moderates will push him aside.”

“Will that stop the killing?”

Noel shrugged and leaned forward to study a blemish on his chin in the mirror over a sink. “Probably not, but at least we’ll have someone reasonable to deal with.” He decided that heat didn’t suit him. His normally crisp, wavy brown hair was limp, and his English rose complexion looked blotchy and red. Even his blue eyes were ringed with red from the Los Angeles pollution.

“God, you’re a calculating bastard.” Straight Arrow paused, then added, “You and the prince were at Cambridge together.”

Noel didn’t answer. It was clear the American knew that full well, and the more you talked the more you were likely to give up.

“Well, if you guys did engineer the assassination you might want to tell Siraj to get his fanny in gear. If things don’t calm down pretty quickly, we’re going to have to step in. We have our own interests to protect.”

Noel didn’t try to hide his derisive smile. “Oh, dear fellow, really, you shouldn’t. You Yanks are always so heavy-handed. Best you leave empire to those of us with real imperial experience. We’ll act, but after we have a little useless PR bleating from the UN secretary-general.”

“Jayewardene is going to the region?”

“Yes, Abdul the Idiot asked him to intervene.”

Straight Arrow shook his head. “He’s a very brave man.”

“No, he’s a predictable idiot.”

They heard footsteps approaching. Noel turned on a tap and washed his hands. Straight Arrow looked over at the urinals. “Well, as long as I’m here.”

“Yes, best you be busy or people might think we’re trysting.”

“Go away,” the American ace said in a muffled voice.

It was Michael Berman who entered. They danced a bit in the doorway. “Hey, nice work,” the producer said.

“Thank you. Did I ruin your ratings?” Noel asked.

“Nah. Nats secretly love to see aces getting their ass kicked. Especially when a nat does the kicking.”

Noel moved on.

“You’ve got my power, right?” Wild Fox asked. “You create illusions.”

Noel smiled enigmatically.

“You’re a short-range teleporter,” Curveball said. “Is that it?”

Noel took a sip from his crystal champagne flute. The bubbly puckered the edges of his tongue and danced in his sinuses. He was impressed. Given the age and class of most of the American Hero contestants, he’d expected Asti Spumante, or some other equally sweet crap.

“Nah, he’s a fucking shape-shifter,” Hardhat said. “It’s the only way he could look that fucking hot. I know broads, and he was a fucking broad.”

“No. No. And no. As to how I attracted you—I’m an inter-sexed individual,” Noel said, with a happy anticipation of Hardhat’s likely response.

“Huh? What the fuck is that?”

“A hermaphrodite.”

“Huh?”

“A person who has the sexual attributes of both a male and a female.”

“You gotta cock and a pussy?” Disgust and fascination—but definitely more fascination—laced Hardhat’s words. Hmm , thought Noel. I can still be surprised .

“Precisely.”

“Uh, I need a beer,” Wild Fox said. His eyes roamed desperately around the crowded room, and he sidled away.

“Whatever you are, you’re one cold pendejo ,” Earth Witch said.

“And why would you say that?”