Kim Baldwin - The Gemini Deception

“How did that work out?” Shield had no desire to hear the details of Wagner’s love life. Quite the opposite, actually. But something wasn’t right about her sexual choices. Wagner had looked at Kennedy in a way that only a woman with a deep appreciation for another woman would.

“It didn’t. I didn’t. I went through the motions during all three short-lived relationships.”

“Didn’t they notice?”

Wagner hesitated. “Eventually,” she mumbled as Shield wrapped the gauze around her shoulder. “Anyway, I gave up on dates years ago. I don’t care what people say anymore. I refuse to put myself through the pain and embarrassment of explanations and verbal abuse.”

“What do you mean?”

“Explaining to men why I…forget it.”

“Why what?”

Wagner turned red and looked away. “It’s personal.”

“I understand. I don’t mean to pry. I was worried they physically hurt you.”

“No, nothing like that. Sure, they’d get rough sometimes out of frustration, but it was the verbal aggression that was brutal.”

Shield remembered the insults Carmen had spat at her only too well, but there had never been any physical abuse. Was Wagner, like so many women, trying to cover for these idiots by belittling the topic? “Rough?” she asked. “You shouldn’t excuse any kind of roughness .”

“You don’t understand. They never hit or hurt me, it’s just…” Wagner looked embarrassed. “They’d get rough in bed because it frustrated them no end that I couldn’t climax. It made them feel incompetent, and they’d eventually storm out the door screaming about how frigid I am. One called me a corpse.” Wagner blew out a long breath. “Anyway, that was then. As long as I stay clear of dates and sex, I never have to hear those words again.”

“How does your arm feel?” Shield asked when she finished wrapping her shoulder.

Wagner looked down as if surprised to see it was over. “Tolerable, as long as I don’t move it.”

Shield got up and found a towel in the bathroom she could fashion into a sling. “This will help take the weight off your arm,” she said as she helped Wagner into it. Then she grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around Wagner’s shoulders. “I’ll wash these,” she said, picking up the soiled clothes, “and get a fire started.”

She could feel Wagner watch her as she tended to her tasks. Once the fire was blazing, she scrubbed the shirt and hoodie and laid them to dry across a chair set by the fireplace. “I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for something to eat,” she said as she rejoined Wagner on the couch. “I’ll go into town early in the morning, but we should lie low for a day at least.”

“What’s going to happen to me after we leave here?”

“I don’t know. What you did is—”

“I know.” Wagner watched the flames with a resigned, defeated expression. “Looks like I’m going to jail, after all.”

Shield wanted to say anything to comfort her, but the law was clear and unforgiving when it came to the president’s safety. “There’s always a chance Thomas doesn’t talk.”

“That’s what they planned on. Her silence.”

“We’ll see.”

“Your people will have me arrested even if Thomas doesn’t.”

“Only if they’re asked to,” Shield said. “We don’t take jobs unless we’re hired.”

Wagner’s eyes met hers. “I disgust you, don’t I?”

“No. I guess most people in your position would have done what you did.”

“I’m so sorry I got you involved,” Wagner said quietly, and looked away again. “I never meant for any of this to happen, and I never knew they were going to kill innocent people. They told me very little about their plans except what involved me directly.”

Shield nodded in understanding.

“I wanted to tell you so many times, but…”

“Yes, you said. You were afraid.”

“I wanted to trust you.”

“But you didn’t. What bothers me are not your reasons for doing what you did but your lies. I could have gotten us both out.”

“I didn’t believe you could,” Wagner said. “This woman is so dangerous. I’d never be able to live with it if something had happened to you because of me.”

“It almost did anyway.”

“I just hope you can one day forgive me.”

“Why does it matter?”

Wagner shrugged. “I…just do.”

“The worst thing about being lied to,” Shield said, not bothering to hide the hurt in her voice, “is knowing you weren’t worth the truth.”

“You asked me why I kissed you.”

Shield turned to look at her.

“I did it because it was the only way I could tell you how much I trusted you.”

“Are you in the habit of kissing everyone you trust?”

“Probably not, although I wouldn’t know. I’ve never trusted anyone.”

Shield got up to poke the wood in the fireplace. Sometimes, she wished she could say those same words, but her blind faith had once almost destroyed her and everything she cared about. “You’re lucky.”

“I thought so, too.” Wagner bit her lip. “Until you made me realize how lonely and alone I was. How lacking in happiness.”

Shield was confused. “I did that?”

“You made me feel beautiful, special, and respected. You…” Wagner swiped at a lone tear running down her cheek. “You made me feel something new, and I finally understood what it was like to be wanted.”

Shield went back to the couch. She wanted to be the one to wipe away that tear but couldn’t. She didn’t know how to let go of the imposter and embrace this other woman.

Wagner apparently could sense her ambivalence. “You can’t even say my name,” she said. “You’ve avoided using it since you found out I wasn’t Thomas.”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to deal with you.”

“With a florist?”

“Yes…I mean, no.” Shield rubbed her tired eyes. “It’s not that you’re a florist. If nothing else, it’s a more honest occupation than politics. I don’t know how to handle Ryden when she looks so much like Elizabeth.”

“ I can hardly deal with it,” Wagner replied. “But I assure you, the resemblance is superficial.”

“I’ll say.”

“Yes, okay.” Wagner shifted farther away on the couch with a scowl. “I know I don’t have her education, wealth, or power. I’m a nobody with a rap sheet, wanted for murder, and God forbid someone of your caliber would ever…” She got up. “Regardless of what you think of me,” she said, cringing from the pain, “I’m pretty damn happy with myself. I’m a decent, hardworking individual who’s never harmed a fly. If you can’t understand that, then too bad.”

Shield got up as well and stood in front of her. “Someone of my caliber would what? What do you think my caliber is?” She was tired of people measuring her worth by her money.

“You have a name, money, stature.”

“So?”

“So, I’m not Carmen or Thomas. I can’t measure up to them.”

“Carmen was a lying, deceiving bitch who was with me for my money and vineyard,” she explained, a bitter taste in her mouth from the memory. “I met her in her uncle’s restaurant, where she worked as a waitress. She and her husband—who I knew nothing about, but was the master of their twisted game—tried to make me give up half my property.”

“What? How?”

“She never said she was married. She said she’d always been straight but had fallen in love with me. I believed her and fell hard for her and her stories. We lived together for four years, and I loved her, trusted her, and never had any reasons to look further. The next year, she started talking about signing over half of my property, putting the vineyards in her name because we’d been together for five years and she felt she deserved half of everything as my partner for her support.”