Emily Jenkins - Being the Adventures of a Knowledgeable Stingray, a Toughy Little Buffalo, and Someone Called Plastic

“What can you do?”

“Bounce.”

“Bounce me, then,” says Lumphy. “Please.”

Plastic rolls back to get a good start, and then she bounces herself hard at Lumphy, banging him against the side of the bed.

“Harder!” cries Lumphy.

Plastic bounces harder.

And again.

And a really hard bounce.

There is a ripping sound. “You’re breaking the ribbon!” cries Lumphy. “Keep going!”

Plastic does. Another ripping sound.

“Again, again! I’m almost down!”

One more bounce, and Lumphy crashes to the ground. Bonk!

He lands on his bottom, just like before. Only it feels different.

It feels like something is missing.

Something is.

Lumphy looks up at the unbroken ribbon, dangling from the top of the high bed. Something short and chocolate brown and rather good-looking is attached to it.

“Is that my tail?” cries Lumphy.

“Ummm,” says Plastic. “It probably might be.”

“I need it! I need it!” Lumphy is in tears.

“There, there.”

“What will I do without it?”

“There, there.”

“Oh, I need it very badly!”

“What for?” Plastic wants to know.

Lumphy sniffs back his tears. He tries to think of an answer.

“You look tougher without it,” says Plastic kindly, rolling around to examine Lumphy’s bottom.

“Really?”

“None of the tough buffaloes have tails,” lies Plastic. “I read it in the animal book.”

“They don’t?”

“It’s the tough-buffalo fashion.”

Lumphy thinks for a minute. “Who needs a tail, anyway?” he sniffs.

“I don’t,” says Plastic.

“I don’t, either, then,” says Lumphy, bravely.

… …

About an hour later, while Lumphy is showing his tail stump to TukTuk in the bathroom, Plastic hears a noise from on top of the high bed.

It sounds like whispering.

It sounds like StingRay.

It sounds an awful lot like a submarine message. “Lumphy murrphle wuffle rmmm floor murrphle. Lumphy murrphle wuffle rmmm floor murrphle.”

… …

The next day, the Little Girl wraps Lumphy’s bottom in toilet paper and masking tape to help it feel better. But she does not take him to bed with her that night.

In fact, she never takes him to bed again.

Lumphy doesn’t mind, though. He is leapfrogging, and laughing, and listening to TukTuk explain about hand lotion and dental floss.

He is staying up late.

After all, he’s not sleepy at eight.

CHAPTER SIX

It Is Difficult to Find the Right Birthday Present

The Little Girl’s birthday is in a week. She will be seven. There are big plans. A party, a cake, a piñata. Friends are coming over.

“Seven is old,” muses Plastic, as she and StingRay look out the window one day while the Girl is at school. “Will she be a grown-up soon?”

“No,” says StingRay. “How can you tell?”

“You’re not a grown-up until you’re at least eight.” StingRay taps the windowpane with her flipper for emphasis.

“How old are you ?” Plastic wants to know.

“When you’re eight, you can drive a limousine,” StingRay explains,

“and you brush your teeth without being

reminded,

and you can read all the words in the

dictionary, no matter how long.

You have lots of money to buy all the

chocolate you want,

and poofy dresses and cool soccer shoes,

plus anything blue that strikes your fancy.

But not when you’re seven.”

“How old are you ?” asks Plastic again.

“That doesn’t matter,” says StingRay. “What matters is how much stuff I know. People who know a lot of stuff don’t need birthdays.”

… …

“I’m having a party for my toys,” the Little Girl tells her three best friends. “In the morning, before the kids come over. With my tea set and a real cupcake. Everybody is invited.”

They begin whispering as soon as the Girl leaves for school. “Who’s included in Everybody?” Lumphy wonders.

“Just everybody,” says Plastic.

“Does it mean me?”

“Of course.”

“Does it mean the toy mice?”

“I think so.”

“What about the rocking horse? He can’t sit at the table.”

“Oh, um …” Plastic rolls side to side a bit, not answering.

“Everybody is us three, the toy mice, and the one-eared sheep,” explains StingRay. “That’s who’s invited.”

“That’s all?” says Lumphy. “I feel bad about the horse.”

“Well, maybe the horse can come,” says StingRay. “We could have the party over in his corner.”

“What about Frank?” wonders Lumphy. “What about TukTuk?”

“Frank has to stay in the basement,” StingRay points out.

“TukTuk probably wouldn’t even want to come,” says Plastic. “It’s not a towel kind of thing. She likes to do stuff with the other towels.”

“I think she’d want to,” says Lumphy. “She’s the Little Girl’s towel.”

“If you invite one towel, you have to invite them all,” StingRay explains. “The Girl has to keep the party down to a manageable size.”

… …

“What are you giving her?” Frank asks Lumphy, one afternoon when the buffalo is having maple syrup washed off in the basement.

“Giving who?” asks Lumphy.

“The Girl. You should give the Girl a present if you’re going to her birthday party.”

“I don’t think she expects one.”

“You have to get her something,” says Frank. “It’s manners.”

Lumphy is worried now. “What can I get?”

“Well, what does she love most?”

“I don’t know!” cries Lumphy.

“Rrgaaaaah,” says the Dryer, interrupting.

“She wishes she could go to the party,” explains Frank. “We never go anywhere.” He drains out his water tank and starts the spin cycle. “It’s the loneliest life.”

“Mrrrmmmnnnnh,” says the Dryer soothingly. “Mrrmnnaaaaaah.”

“True,” says Frank. “We have each other.”

… …

As soon as he is clean and dry, Lumphy calls Plastic and StingRay to a meeting on the windowsill. “We have to give her a present,” he announces. “It’s manners for birthday parties.”

“Ooooh!” cries StingRay. “I know! Let’s give her an airplane,

and a ball gown,

and a big-screen, flat-screen, giant jumbo

television, and some gummy bears.

She’ll be so surprised.”

“Great,” says Plastic. “Now, where do we get an airplane?”

“I know where. Don’t worry about that,” says StingRay. “How much money do we have?”

Plastic thinks for a moment. “We don’t have any. Let’s get the ball gown instead. Or do we need money for that, too?”

“We need money for everything” answers Lumphy.

“You’re right!” cries Plastic in distress. “And even if we did have money, we can’t get to the store because we’re not eight yet, and we can’t drive!”

“What does she love most?” asks Lumphy. “That’s what we should get her.”

“New plan!” announces StingRay. “We’re finding a present in the house.”

… …

The night before the birthday, StingRay only pretends to go to sleep with the Little Girl. Really, she flops down onto the shaggy rug and organizes a serious present hunt. “Don’t come back without a quality gift!” she commands Plastic and Lumphy, standing on her tail and flapping her flippers.