Brian Jacques - Redwall #05 - The Legend of Luke

"Ho wot d'you give to a saucy crew,

Stew! Stew! Stew!

Wot's better than a bowl o' stew?

Why a bowl o' stew or two!

We fries the varnish off the mast,

Then adds some ole rope ends,

An' the cap'n's boots all boiled up slow,

Good flavor to it lends.

So scoff it up 'tis good for you,

Stew! Stew! Stew!

Made with a drop o' lantern oil,

An' a barnacle or two,

Some fine sail threads an' fishes' heads,

Then roast the cook's ole socks,

An' add to that some o' the fat,

They use to grease the locks!

Ho stew, stew luvverly stew,

No skilly'n'duff or brown burr goo,

Just swallow the lumps that you can't chew,

An' fill a plate for yore worst mate,

Then sit an' watch him temptin' fate,

With face so green an' nose all blue,

Stew! Stew! Steeeeeeeeeeewwww!"

Luke was guiding the tiller, smiling as he listened to the crew voicing their doubts about breakfast.

"D'you think they really mean it, Cordle?"

"I don't know, mate. Mebbe they're just jokin'."

"But they wouldn't use lantern oil an' lock grease, would they, Vurg?"

Vurg winked at Luke as he answered Denno, who was prone to bouts of seasickness at the slightest thing. "Who knows, mate? Ole Beau's a great 'un for playin' pranks an' I remember that salty stew Cardo made when we first set sail. Wot d'you think, Luke?"

The Warrior was hard put to keep a straight face. "No, Vurg, I don't think Beau an' Cardo'd do that to our vittles, though I couldn't find my seaboots this mornin'."

The cook and his assistant staggered out of the galley, bearing between them a steaming cauldron. Denno's usually ruddy face took on an unhealthy pallor. "Urgh! I ain't eatin' none o' that stuff!"

Grinning wickedly, Beau dipped a beaker into the cauldron. "Wot? After all the blinkin' trouble we went to preparin' this delicious stew? Now see here, Denno m'laddo, I'm goin' to see you eat this, even if I have t'feed it t'you m'self. It'll put the jolly old roses back in your cheeks. Now open your mouth wide, old chap!"

"Yaaaah! I'm too young t'die!"

The crew of the Saynashook with laughter as Beau chased Denno round the deck with the beaker of stew.

"Oh, c'mon, you great big silly, stan' still an' open wide!"

"Gerraway from me, you lop-eared poisoner! Help, somebeast stop 'im! Do somethin', you rotten lot!"

Beau pursued Denno from stem to stern, stew slopping from the beaker as he coaxed and cajoled. "Never grow up strong an' handsome like me if you don't eat all your blinkin' brekky up, wot wot?"

Denno scrambled up the mainmast for the crow's nest, with Beau scaling the rope ladder close behind him. When he reached the topmost point, Denno suddenly yelled, "Sail, I see a sail!"

Beau grabbed his footpaw, chortling. "No excuses now, laddie buck. I'll pour it down your ear if you don't hold still!"

Luke's sharp command caused the hare to release the crewmouse.

"Beau, let him be! Are you sure it's a sail, Denno?"

"Aye, Luke, I saw it a moment ago, but it's gone now!"

Beau let the beaker drop and clambered swiftly up alongside Denno, his keen eyes following the mouse's paw.

"Over there it was, south, mebbe a touch west!"

The hare concentrated his gaze upon the horizon for a while, then he climbed down to the deck and made his report to Luke.

"There was somethin' out there, but bad weather's risin' from the sou'westsea's gone quite choppy an' the clouds are lowerin'. Mayhap 'twas a shipcouldn't really tell."

Luke came to a decision speedily. "Vurg, steer her over that waysouth goin' west. Coll, Dulam, Cordle, pile on all sails. Beau, get the food to my cabin, an' the rest of you, make sure everythin' is battened down tight. Looks like we're in for a storm."

When the orders had been carried out, the crew gathered in Luke's cabin to share the meal. Contrary to Denno's belief, the stew was delicious. Beau was quite huffy that anybeast should think it otherwise.

"Phuff! Never cooked rubbish or wasted good food in all m'life, wot. Vegetable stew, sah, with lots of carrot, dandelion root, leeks, dried mushrooms, onions, taters an' my own special barley'n'oat dumplin's. Puts fur on the chest, a glint in the eye an' a splendid spring t'the paw. Stuff t'give the crew, eh, Luke?"

The Warrior cleaned his bowl with a chunk of bread. "It certainly is, mate. D'you think we should allow Denno a second helpin'?"

Denno licked his spoon sheepishly. "Not my fault. The way they were singin' that song, well, I thought..."

Beau kindly ladled him another portion. "Thought, laddie? Y'know what the shortsighted vole thought. Listen an' I'll tell you.

"A shortsighted vole climbed out of his hole,

His glasses he'd lost, I fear,

Some blossom petals in the breeze,

Fell on his head, oh dear!

I thought 'twas summer but winter's come,

'Tis snow!' that vole did shout.

I think I'd better go and warn

The creatures hereabout!'

He bellowed 'round the woodland wide,

'I think 'tis going to freeze!'

He shooed some sparrows from a nest,

'Back to your hive, you bees!'

And squinting dimly at the ground,

He lectured tufts of grass,

'All hedgehogs now should be indoors,

'Til wintertide does pass!'

'Go join your family 'round the fire,

Don't sit there all alone,

'Tis no fit weather for a mole,'

He scolded at a stone.

'And as for you,' he told a bush,

'You badgers aren't too smart,

I thought you'd be the first to know,

When winter's due to start!'

So gather 'round and listen all,

My moral's clear and true,

I think 'tis best to stop and think,

When thoughts occur to you!"

As Beau finished his poem, the ship gave a lurch. Luke saved the stew cauldron as it slid by and laid it safe on the deck, wedging it 'twixt the table and his chair.

"Don't panic, crew, it's the bad weather. Sit tight an' wait it out in comfortthere's little else we can do. I'm goin' out on deck. Vurg, you come with me. We'll take tiller watch two at a time until the storm passes. When you go out there, use ropes an' tie yoreselves to that tiller. I don't want any crew washed overboard."

The little ship began to sway crazily as mounting waves buffeted her, up and down, side to side. Luke gritted his teeth as he and Vurg strove to hold the tiller on course. Spray lashed both mice until, despite their heavy cloaks, they were saturated. A high-pitched whine, like that of a stricken beast, rose above the storm's din. It was the wind, playing on the tightened rigging ropes as if they were the strings of some instrument. Pawing saltwater from his eyes, Vurg glanced anxiously up at them.

"If we don't slack off some sail, this gale might rip us t'pieces, Luke. Can't we take her t'half canvas?"

The Warrior stared straight ahead into the onslaught. " 'Tain't possible, Vurg. I couldn't risk the crew's life by sendin' 'em up into the riggin' to shorten sail. Also, I'm near certain 'twas the red ship that Denno an' Beau sighted. I don't figger on losin' her. We're bound to follow!"

Beau and Cardo struggled back to the galley across the seesawing deck, bearing the empty stew cauldron between them. Coinciding with the boom of thunder overhead, the galley door slammed open wide. A flash of white lightning illuminated the scene as they were both swept inside by a wave crashing over the ship. Smoke wreathed them as the galley stove was extinguished into a hissing mess by the water. The seacook staggered inside, yelling to his assistant, "Lock all y'can in the cupboardskeep the blinkin' vittles dry. I'm goin' to fetch a rope and secure those water casks before they start rollin' about!"

No sooner was Beau out on deck again than a crackling bolt of chain lightning struck the Sayna's foremast. Like a dry twig the stout timber split, sending the long lower jib swinging like a scythe. Vurg saw the danger and shouted, "Beau, look out, mate!"