Brian Jacques - Redwall #05 - The Legend of Luke

The Warrior mouse acted swiftly. Grabbing the spear, he ran forward, shaking it to feel the balance. From halfway between the tideline and the stairs he made a mighty throw. A searat, slightly ahead of the rest, took the spear through his middle and toppled over screaming. Those behind could not stop their mad charge and stumbled over the slain rat. Luke's roar snapped the crew out of their shock.

"Back to the ship at the double!"

The vermin who had tripped on their fallen comrade did not have far to fall. They sprawled in the sand momentarily, then scrambled up and gave chase after the mice.

Weapons drawn, Luke, Vurg and Beau stood in the shallows, hurrying the crew past them. "Get aboard quick, mates, loose all sails an' up anchor!"

Cordle, Denno and Dulam helped the first few over the side and set to, turning the windlass to haul up the anchor.

Wild with their desire to capture a ship, vermin thundered recklessly into the water. Luke swung back and forth with his sword, slaying and wounding wherever he struck. Vurg hit out with his spear and Beau went at them, a club in each paw. "Yaaah! Back, back, ye scum!"

Other vermin were coming in from both sides now, to cut the trio off from their vessel. Aboard the Sayna,Coll and some others went to work. Hanging over the stern, they whizzed arrows and slingstones at the mob in the shallows. It was Cardo who saved the day, though. Grabbing an ax, he chopped the rear anchor free of its rope, then, heaving until he had pulled a fair length from the windlass, the resourceful mouse cast the thick line into the sea. "Grab ahold, mates, we'll haul ye aboard!"

Luke held off the closest foes while Beau seized the rope and knotted it into a wide loop, which he threw over Vurg and Luke with one wide cast, then ducked inside to join them. Bound together within the noose of anchor rope, they struck out at the surrounding attackers, with Vurg bellowing back to the ship, "Heave away, mates, fast as y'like!"

Billowing sails caught the wind, whipping the Saynaout to sea. Every available crewmouse bent his back at the windlass spokes, making it fly around. Luke smashed a spearhead with a swipe of his swordblade, but before he could strike at its owner, his footpaws left the seabed and he was swept away backward with Vurg and Beau pressed either side of him. Even spraying sea water sloshing at his mouth could not silence the hare.

"Fare thee well, vermin, glub glub! G'bye, chaps, gluggle!

With the Sayna'soutward momentum and the windlass winding them in, they soon outdistanced the maddened vermin. Vurg felt his back bump hard against the ship's side as Beau hooted, "Steady on, chaps, glub!We ain't the blinkin' enemy. Gluggle ug!D'ye mind lettin' us live a trifle longer! Pshaw! This seawater tastes jolly foul, wot!"

Willing paws pulled them aboard, and Luke wriggled free of the rope. They stood astern, watching the island recede as the enraged mob fought among themselves in the shallows. Luke put aside his blade and took off his sopping tunic.

"How did we do, Cardo? Everybeast safe?"

"Aye, they're all alive, mate, one or two wounds. I took a slingstone right across the paw meself!"

Vurg inspected the cut on his friend's paw. "Nasty! Is that the paw you use t'cook with?"

Cardo smiled cheerfully. "No."

Vurg gave a disappointed sigh. "Wot a pity!"

The crew laughed heartily at the indignant Cardo.

Beau looked from one to another, unable to fathom the joke. "What's so funny? Is the blighter an awful cook?"

This caused further laughter and more indignation from Cardo. "Take no notice of 'em, Beau. They're all lousy cooks. You'll be sorry you signed aboard this ship, mate, 'specially when y'taste the grub. It's dreadful. Even the fishes throw the scraps back aboard!"

Immediately the hare cast off his raggy garb and began wrapping a length of canvas around his waist like an apron. "Lucky you found me then, chaps. Aboard my old ship I was voted the choicest chef to be chosen from all chief chefs!"

Coll nudged the hare. "Bet you couldn't say that again?"

Beau dismissed him with an airy twiddle of both ears. "Couldn't I though, hah? I was the cheese chosen chief of all choosers, no, wait a tick, I was choked by a chosen chief chook, no, that ain't right..."

Luke interrupted him. "If y'can cook, then stow the blather an' get t'the galley. Cardo, you can be Beau's assistant. Denno, attend the wounded, you were always good at healin'. Coll, you take the tiller. Keep that westerin' sun at your right shoulderwe're followin' the red ship south. The rest of you trim the sails an' see she moves along steady!"

Beau turned out to be an excellent cook. That night he served the crew of the Saynaa meal to gladden their hearts. Being a hare, he cooked victuals in generous portions, so there was more than enough for all.

"Right ho, I know this'll be wasted on you famine-faced chaps, but here's tonight's menu, wot. Starters, cheese an' onion turnovers, with my own flaky pastry, followed by shrimp an' mushroom bake in a parsley an' turnip sauce. For afters there's a pear an' plum pudden. To drink, mint an' dandelion tea or some rather good cider I found in your ship's stores. Hold hard a moment there, don't touch a bally crumb 'til I've said grace, you savages!"

Luke lowered his eyes, admonishing the crew. "He's right. No need to get sloppy an' bad-mannered 'cos we're not at home. Carry on, Beau."

The hare intoned the grace at tremendous speed.

"Fate'n'fortunes smile on us,

An' of this crew take care,

But let no greedy robber try,

To guzzle up my share!"

Before anybeast could raise an eye or pick up a spoon, the hare was tucking in as if there were no tomorrow.

Vurg passed the turnovers to Luke. "Our cook can certainly shift the vittles, mate!"

Luke sniffed the hot turnovers appreciatively. "Beau can do wot he likes, long as he keeps servin' up meals as good as this 'un!"

"Aye. Better put some aside for Cordlehe's on tiller watch."

The Saynaplowed steadily south on fair seas under a waning moon. Weary after the day's exertions, her crew lay down to rest, though food seemed to have the opposite effect on the garrulous cook. Beau quoted endless rhymes, danced and sang ceaselessly, now that he was not alone but in the company of friends. Luke sent him on deck to guard the tiller, and he did a double watch, serenading the sea and the night skies. Dulam wadded his cloak about both ears, complaining bitterly. "A good cook he may be, but a tuneful singer he ain't. Sounds like somebeast attackin' a plank wid a rusty saw out there. Hoi, give yore gob a rest, will ye, Beau!"

But insults and pleas had no effect on the off-key warbler.

"Oooooh flunky dee an' a rum tumtum,

The good ship Flinkydogg,

Set sail with a crew o' fishes,

An' fat ole cap'n frog.

Oooooh doodle dey make way make way,

The frog said to the fishes,

'All fins on deck an' use yore tails,

To wash these dirty dishes!'

Oooooh skiddle deedoo, a fig for you,

The fishcrew boldly cried,

'Just chuck 'em in the ocean,

They'll be washed up by the tide!'

'Tis mutiny oh woe is me,

The frog did croak so sad,

'If I'd a crew o' boiler crabs,

They'd not be'ave so bad!'

'Twas after dark, a passin' shark,

Heard what was goin' on,

So for his tea, impartially,

He ate up everyone.

Oooooh goodness me hoho heehee,

The shark smiled, 'Lackaday,

I can't abide a feckless frog,

Nor fish who won't obey!'"

Beau neatly dodged an apple core flung at him from the cabin. His ears stood up indignantly. "Rotten bounders, fancy chuckin' missiles at a chap who's doin' his level best to sing y'to sleep, ungrateful cads!"