Brian Jacques - Redwall #06 - The Outcast of Redwall

So all you frogs pay heed to me,

A puddens what Id like to be;

All full of plums an steamin hot,

Id scoff me in a flash, eh wot?

But merrydown derrydown, no not me,

A good old hare is what Ill be.

Then if I were a great fat fish,

The frogs would lay me in a dish;

And when they all sat down to sup,

With knives an forks theyd cut me up.

So merrydown derrydown, lack a day,

A hungry hare is what Ill stay!

Amid the laughter and applause, a mole who was on kitchen duty tugged at the Abbesss sleeve and whispered urgently, “Cumm yurr, mum, ee ogwife be sicked in ee kitchen!

Meriam got up from her chair and glided to the kitchen, with Bryony in her wake, questioning the mole.

“Myrtle sick? What seems to be the matter with her, Figgul?

The molemaid Figgul spread her digging claws, mystified. “Oi doant be knowen, missie. Furst she be a tummypainen, then groanen an a moanen sumthin orful, et quoit upset oi, ho urr!

Friar Bunfold was wringing his paws helplessly when they arrived. Myrtle lay doubled up on the floor, shivering. Others crowded into the kitchen as Abbess Meriam knelt over her, saying, “Skipperjo, Jodd, clear that table; lift her up onto it, gentle now. Myrtle, what is it, my dear?

The old hogwife was decidedly pale, and greenish around her lips. “Ooooohhh! Elp me, marm, the pain, the agony! she wept. Then, mercifully, she passed into unconsciousness.

Sister Withe pushed her way through to the table and swiftly she inspected the hedgehog, feeling her brow, sniffing her breath.

“Looks like shes been poisoned to me! the mouse announced.

A look of horror passed across Bryonys face. “Poisoned?

Sister Withe questioned Friar Bunfold. “Whats she had to eat and drink lately, Friar?

Bunfold waved his ladle distractedly. “Nothin we havent all eaten tonight. As for drink, well, theres that jar of cold water sprinkled with oats and powdered barley. I drink quite a bit of it, because of the heat in heregets quite hot when were cookin, Sister.

Withe took the jar, then she sniffed it, dipped a paw in, and tasted a drop. Pulling a wry face she spat it out, saying, “Has any of this been drunk by you or the kitchen helpers?

Friar Bunfoid shook his head. “No, the helpers have all been drinkin dandelion fizz. Myrtle didnt usually drink the oatVbarley water, said she wasnt sure if shed like it; however, I drink lots of it, an I told Myrtle to drink some, as itd do her good in this heat.

“But you didnt drink any, Friar?

“No, I was goin to when Myrtle drank some as I advised her ... The ladle clattered from Bunfolds paw as realization struck him. “That was meant for me to drink!

Myrtle was carried up to Bellas room by Skipperjo, Jodd, and Redfarl. The Abbess and Sister Withe went with her. They laid the hogwife on Bellas bed as Withe prepared an antidote, speaking her thoughts aloud as she worked.

“Wolfbane, the hooded plant that kills. She must have drunk only a small sipif Myrtle had taken a proper mouthful she wouldnt be with us now. Crushed mustard seed, lots of it in water, that should bring it upwhat dyou think, Bella?

The silver badger answered without hesitation. “Aye, lots of it, youre right. Better hurry!

In Great Hall, Bryony and Togget were helping to clear the tables. Veil began stacking dishes beside them; he looked puzzled. “Bryony, whats all the fuss about? Whys the feast stopped? he asked.

“Didnt you hear? Myrtles ill, they say shes been poisoned.

Veil sat down, disbelief written across his face. “Poisoned? Myrtle? But why?

Togget picked up a great pie dish. “Aye, poisinged, maister, tho shem aloive, thank guddness!

Veil grasped Bryonys paw, his lip quivering. “Poor Myrtle, who would do such a thing?

Bryony watched tears pop out onto the young ferrets cheek. She hugged him, glad that he could show such tender feelings for the old hogwife. “There, there, shell be right as rain in a day or two. youll see. They never said anybeast did it, perhaps it was just an accident, something got into the water jar somehow, who knows?

The mousemaid felt sympathy for Veil, he looked so upset, and she sent him off to bed.

Myrtle was out of danger. Sister Withe had administered the remedy, and Myrtle reacted favorably. After a further treatment of chamomile tea, she had fallen into a peaceful slumber.

Later, in Bellas room, a meeting was held. Abbess Meriam looked sternly at her friends. “There was no way that wolf-bane could have found its way into the kitchens, Im certain. We must face this fact, somebeast put it there, possibly to harm Friar Bunford. We have a poisoner in Redwall! The friends looked at each other, shaking their heads at this announcement.

Skipperjo addressed Sister Withe. “Beggin yore pardon, marm, but this wolfbanedyou keep any in yore herbstocks?

The good Sister pondered a moment. “Wolfbane, hmm, ah yes, I did have some, though I dont think I ever found a use for it; old Brother Farrow, who used to be the Herbalist, left it there.

Redfari nodded toward the infirmary. “Ill wager it aint there anymore. Go an take a peek, Sister.

Withe was away and back in a short time, crying, “Youre right, its gone!

Bella tapped her paws on the chair arms. “So, weve got a poisoner in the Abbey. Whats to be done about it? Nothing like this has ever happened before.

Jodd the squirrelhare bowed elegantly. “Permit me, mdears. I am afflicted with a wise old head on young shoulders, yknow. Subterfuge is called for here, wot. Leave it to us squirrels an otters, marm, I have a ruse or two up msleeve that I wager will lay the villain by hisor herpaws before the summer is much older.

Redfarl winked at the Abbess. “Aye, ole Jodders might talk like a mole with a gobful of roses, marm, but ycan trust him to solve yer problem.

Abbess Meriam tucked paws into sleeves and bowed lightly, saying, “I leave it in your capable paws, my friends!

29?

Next morning at breakfast, Great Hall was abuzz with the events of the previous night, though nobeast could venture an explanation or solution to it all. When the meal was finished, Abbess Meriam rapped the table with a spoon, calling the Red-wallers to order.

“Silence, please. Stay where you are, everybeast, I have something to say to you all, and to one in particular. A terrible thing has happened. Never, in the history of our Abbey, has anything like this ever occurred. Last night our hogwife Myrtle was very close to death. She had been poisoned, but not by any accident. It is my opinion that Myrtle was poisoned by somebeast sitting here in our midst this morning!

An uproar and clamor arose until Skipperjo thwacked the oak tabletop several times with his hefty rudderlike tail. “Order, mateys! Give order an let the Abbess marm ave er say!

Meriam continued in a loud clear voice. “There is a poisoner among us, but whatever beast did this awful deed will not escape justice. Sister Withe!

The slender mouse stood up, trembling slightly; she was not accustomed to public speaking. She piped up in a reedy voice, which grew bolder as she proceeded. “Whoever poisoned Myrtle used wolfbane, a plant that I know much about. If our poisoner knew much about wolfbane then he, or she, would have used gloves. Let me tell you why. Two days ago I picked the wolfbane, but I forgot to wear gloves to protect my paws. This morning when I woke to come down to breakfast, I looked at my paws. See!

Withe held up both paws for all to look at. They were a deep crimson red, as though they had been dyed. She explained to the hushed audience. “If you hold wolfbane with bare paws it will permanently stain them within two days of holding the plant. Luckily I learned to make up an herbal wash to remove the stain; I have a basin of it in the infirmary. After breakfast I will wash away the scarlet stains in my solution, but the poisoner has no such wash to do this simple task. So, friends, within the next day, or by early tomorrow, we will know who the poisoner is! Withe held up her reddened paws again.