Brian Jacques - Redwall #01 - Lord Brocktree

Ripfang relaxed and squinted up at the sun. "Er, an' I'm still a cap'n, an' me brother Doomeye, too?"

"Yes, of course. Now tell me . . . please."

The searat pulled Trunn's tail from around his neck. "Where's this 'alf-cask o' wine first? I'm thirsty."

As night fell, campfires blazed openly in the dunes facing the cave in the cliffs. Frutch sat out on a tussock at the cavemouth, her son by her side. Several others sat around close, enjoying some of the ottermum's plum and nut slices, hot from the oven. She looked about at the teeming scene and clapped a paw to her cheek. "Well dearie me, well I never, fates a mercy! I never did see so many creatures in all me born days!"

Brogalaw hugged his mother and planted a big kiss on her brow. "Ahoy there, Mum, are you goin' t'keep on sayin' that all night? You left out 'well nail my rudder'!"

Frutch wiped her eyes on an apron corner, passed Dotti another slice and patted her son's paw thankfully. "Well, seasons o' saltwater an' nail my rudder, where did ye find all these nice beasts, Brog?"

The sea otter grinned at his new friend Ruff. "Well, at least she's changed 'er tune, mate. Oh, look out, 'ere comes tears by the blinkin' pailful!"

Blench and Woebee joined Frutch. In a trice they were all passing kerchiefs, weeping and snuffling. Dotti licked crumbs from her paw and looked quizzically at Brog. "Beg pardon, sah, but do they always do that?"

"Only when they're 'appy, miss. P'raps you'd like to give 'em a song? That always calms 'em down a mite." He winced as Brocktree's paw dug him in the side. "Oof! Wot did I say?"

The Badger Lord shook his head mournfully. "You'll find out, my friend, you'll soon find out!"

Stiffener remonstrated sternly with the hare twins. "Stop fightin', you two. Wot are you doin' with the young 'un's bag?"

"Just gettin' miss Dotti's harecordion out, Gramps."

"No you ain't, chum, I'mgettin' it for miss Dotti. I say, Gramps, wait'll you hear her sing. She's a pip!"

Dotti rescued her instrument, smiling sweetly at her admirers as she explained to the weeping trio, "My fatal beauty, y'know, does it every time. Did I tell you I was nearly a queeness, or somethin' like that? Never mind, ladies, I'll sing you a cheery old ditty, wot!" Without further ado, Dotti launched into her song.

"Did ever I tell you when I was born,

Pa cried we were clear out of luck,

He sent me out searchin' for honey,

An' my head in a beehive got stuck!

Poor mother was so forgetful,

She put a plum pudden in bed,

An' covered my brother with custard,

"That'll do us for supper,' she said!

Oh woe is me, what a family,

There used t'be just six of us,

But now there's thirty-three ... heeheeheeheeeeee!

The day Grandma took up knitting,

She couldn't tell yarn from fur,

But she clacked her needles all evening,

An' knitted herself to the chair!

My sisters left home for ever,

Then returned wet an' soakin' with tears,

The fire had died, so 'twas I got 'em dried,

I pegged 'em all out by their ears!

Oh woe is me, not another more,

There used t'be thirty-three of us,

But now there's thirty-four ... hawhawhawhaaaaaw!

Old uncle was hard of hearing,

He'd a trumpet to hold by his ear,

Poor auntie was so shortsighted,

That she often filled it with beer!

When a squirrel dropped by for a visit,

She tidied the place in a rush,

Auntie swept the floor an' varnished the door,

By using his tail as a brush!

Oh woe is me an' hares alive,

There used t'be thirty-four of us,

But now there's thirty-five . .. iiiiiiiiiiiiive!"

Blench had been staring hard at Dotti, gnawing the hem of her kerchief, while the haremaid was singing. They had not been introduced. The old cook's ears suddenly stiffened as she recognized the family likeness, and her paw shot out accusingly.

"Dillworthy! I knew it as soon as I clapped eyes on you, miss. Those young hares called you Dotti. You must be Daphne's daughter, Dorothea!"

Dotti's harecordion gave out an unearthly squeak, as both she and it were squeezed in a viselike hug.

"Aunt Blench?"

"Of course it is, ye young snip. I should've reckernized that voice right away. Last time I saw ye was when you were a liddle fluffy babe, yellin' for lettuce broth. What a racket!"

Overcome by the emotion of the moment, Dotti burst into tears, as did her aunt. Brog led them back to his mum and Woebee, who joined them in a good loud weep. Ruff groaned and covered both ears. "Rap me rudder, mate, 'tis 'ard to tell wot's worse, lissenin' to Dotti's cater-waulin' or yore mum's cryin' choir!"

Baron Drucco hurried them both into the cave. "Let's see if there's somewheres quieter in 'ere. I tell yer, we could use those four agin the enemy. Bet they'd drive 'em offa that Sammalandrocrum mountain!"

Log a Log Grenn went with them. As she patted Brog's shoulder she noticed him wincing. "Yore shoulder's wounded, Brog!"

The sea otter managed a rueful grin. "So 'tis, marm, but don't tell my mum, or there won't be a dry eye this side o' winter. I'll take care of it."

The shrew beckoned one of the squirrels over. "Let Ruro see it. She's the best ever for healin' wounds."

An immense feeling of joy and relief reigned over the cliffs and cave, which the small party of hares and otters had used as their hiding place. The center of it all was Lord Brocktree. The big badger radiated quiet strength and confidence. Creatures passed close to him, so that they could reach out and touch his huge form, or admire the massive sword, with Skittles perched half asleep between its double hilts. Now they could sit out in the open, feeling safe and reassured by his presence. Sailears summed it all up in a single phrase.

"At last we've got a leader, a real Badger Lord!"

Cooking fires were stoked up to full pitch that night. Frutch left off weeping to show her multitude of guests what sea otter hospitality was all about. The ottermum and her helpers were happy to accept the offer of assistance from Guosim cooks, squirrels, hedgehogs, and the ever-smiling Gurth, son of Rogg Longladle.

"Yurr, missus, whurr did ee foind all ee shrimpers?"

Woebee hauled out another netful, which Durvy and his crew had brought back that afternoon. "From our very own fisherbeasts, sir, good old Durvy an' the seafarin' Bark Crew!"

Konul the cheeky ottermaid raised her rudder in surprise. "You was singin' a different tune this mornin', marm. Ye threatened to boil me whiskers if we brought back more shrimp. Good job we did, though."

Blench appeared in their midst, swirling proudly. "My niece Dotti brought me this shawl from my sister Daphne. It's been in our family a long time. Isn't it pretty?"

The shawl had been shredded, patched, torn, tattered and inexpertly repaired. But Blench was enchanted with the family heirloom and nobeast was about to hurt her feelings.

"Oh, it's, er, very unusual, but beautiful!"

"Rather! I like that light brown weave on the hem!"

The light brown weave crumbled off under Woebee's paw. It was mud which had turned to dust. Blench carried on swirling and showing it off, blissfully unaware.

"Lovely, ain't it? An' can ye smell that perfume from it? Reminds me of somethin', though I can't just think wot it is."

"Hmm, a bit like pale ole cider, eh?"

Dotti trod meaningly on Ruff's footpaw and glared at him. "Never! 'Twas a special perfume belongin' to Grandma. I had a lovely letter from my mother, too, y'know, but it got lost."

Southpaw and Bobweave took Dotti's paws and hauled her away.

"I say, miss Dotti, come an' lend a paw with the supplies!"

"These chaps have got a great caveful o' vittles up yonder!"

She made a hasty exit accompanied by the twins.