Brian Jacques - Redwall #16 - Triss

Weel now, me buckoe, I’m hopin’ ye find Redwall. Good fortune attend ye on yer voyage!

Sagax made sure Scarum was not watching as he returned the Migooch Chieftain’s wink. My thanks to you, sir. I’m just sorry that our visit was ruined by that hare’s unforgivable behaviour. I trust you’ll make him serve every day of his sentence and work him hard!

Cumarnee stroked his headspikes pensively. Ah now, I was meanin’ to mention that to ye. Twenty seasons is a long time t’be feedin’ some ould gluttonfaced rabbit. Would ye not think of takin’ him back to do his penance aboard the Stopdog, afore he eats us out o’ spikes ‘n’home?

Sagax shook his head firmly. No sir, a glutton’s a glutton no matter where he is, on land or sea. He’ll never repent.

Scarum knelt. With the water lapping his chin and his paws clasped beseechingly, he moaned aloud to his two friends, I’ll change me ways, I’ll be good! Only take me aboard! I’ll do all the work, scoff’11 scarcely pass my lips, you’ll see! Don’t leave me here for twenty seasons with these spiky savages, oh, er, I mean dear little hoggybeasts. Sagax, Kroova, dear old jolly old faithful old pals, I’ll do any bally thing for you, just take me aboard!

Sagax looked doubtfully at Kroova. What d’you think?

The sea otter tapped his rudder up and down. Hmm, ain’t much of a catch, is he?

As he was talking, Kroova was untying the bowrope from its rock mooring.

But I wouldn’t feel right, inflictin’ Scarum on our good’edgehog friends for twenty seasons. Oh well, I s’pose we’ll’ave to put up with’im. Come on, you lopeared excuse for a messmate, git aboard!

With a bound, Scarum landed on the Stopdog’s deck, playing his new role as beast of all work. Now, sit back an’ put y’paws up, you chaps, leave this t’me. I’ll see to the wotsits an’ unfurl the hoojimacallits an’

till the turnerÑI mean turn the tiller, wot wot wot!

With a twinkle in his eye, Cumarnee called out as he and his hogs waved goodbye, Now, go easy on those pore sharks, an’ don’t slay too many!

Evening sun reddened over a placid sea as the three travelers continued their course northward. By this time Scarum had taken on a change of mood.

Huh, are you two blighters goin’ t’sit there forever with your paws up? Lazy bounders, a chap needs help around here. What d’ye think I am, a one-hare crew? Sagax, why don’t you take the tiller, an’ Kroova can manage those ropes an’ sails. I’ll make the supper. Ah, supper, what a jolly nice thought. All’s I’ve had to eat was a snack last night.

Flamin’ famine-faced hogs, wot? That Mammee gave me a whack on the paw with a ladle when I mentioned brekkers this mornin’, flippin’ spiky old tyrant!

Sagax reached out with a powerful paw and grabbed Scarum by the scruff of the neck. He had him half overboard in a trice. One more word and I’ll make you swim back to serve your twenty seasons with those spiky old tyrants!

Kroova smiled wryly, shaking his head. Ole Scarum don’t change much, does’e?

Sagax was also smiling as he whispered in Kroova’s ear. I wouldn’t want him to, would you? This would be a dull, boring trip with a well-behaved hare for company.

20

Kurda pointed with her sabre at the rock sticking up in the distance, framed purple by the setting sun, Vot is dat island called?

Plugg Firetail had already seen it; he did not even turn to look at Peace Island. That ain’t no island,’tis nought but a big rock stickin’

up out o’ the main. A big lump o’ stone, that’s all.

The ferret Princess kept her sword pointed at the object. You vill sail over dere. I vant to see it, yarr!

Slitfang was on duty as steersbeast. Plugg gave him a look. Keep’er steady on course, I’m the Cap’n o’ the Seascab. He turned his attention back to Kurda.

Yore daddy didn’t say nothin’ about stoppin’ ter look at rocks. My job is t’get ye to Mossflower country an’ catch those runaways if’n we spots’em. Now, why don’t yer let me gerron wid me job. Go an’ lissen t’the crew entertainin’ themselves on the fo’c’sle’ead. Run along now, there’s a good liddle missy!

The Pure Ferret’s eyes blazed scarlet in the setting sun-rays. Von day I cut out your insolent tongue, Freebooter.

Seething with rage, she strode off to the forecastle of the big ship.

Plugg grinned at Slitfang. That proud liddle beauty frightens me t’death.

Hawhawhaw!

Prince Bladd was seated amidst the crew. Tazzin and Grubbage had their paws around his shoulders, teaching him an old Freebooter ditty: Ho’tis nice t’be a villain, wot all honest creatures fears, An’ terrorise the beasts for miles around.

Their scringin’ wails fer mercy is music to me ears, Aye us bad’uns loves to’ear that mournful sound!

A weasel twiddled the last two words on a one-string fiddle as the Freebooter crew echoed them soulfully: Mawhawhawhawnful soooound!

A searat with a ribbon-braided beard took the next verse.

Lissen, mate, I’m tellin’ you, we’re a dirty desperate crew, Each wid a cloud o’ flies around’is’ead.

Filthy Fox an’ Fatty Ferret an’ old Stinky Weasel, too, We’re enough to fill an’onest soul with dread!

Wihhihith derrrread!

He threw his paw affectionately around another searat.

Lookit my old matey’ere, we all calls’im Ripper Rat, Wid no tail, one eye, anarf a greasy ear, Burnt down’is granpa’s’ouse, now wot do ye think o’ that, Just because’is granny called’im’er sweet dear!

Sweeeheet deeeeear!

Ripper smiled bashfully. Pointing at another crewbeast, he sang: Now you take this bully’ere, Scummy Stoat’s’is given name, ÔE’s never’ad a bath,’e’s proud ter say,

‘Til one day far out at sea,’e fell in the watery main, An’ the fishes all jumped out an’ ran away!

Rahaaan awaaaaay!

Grubbage wiped away a tear and blew his snout on Prince Bladd’s embroidered sleeve. Ain’t it luvverly? That’s me favourite ditty.

Though I can’t’elp sheddin’ a tear at the verse where old Scummy fell overboard, it breaks me’eart, mate, every time!

Kurda did not like what she saw. The Riftgard soldier rats were mingling with Plugg’s crew in a free and easy manner. She called their captain to her. Riftun, get de guards down der maindeck. You vill tell dem to stay avay from de Freebooters. Make dem see to their uniforms an’ keep de spears sharp an’ polished!

Keeping his expression blank, Riftun saluted with his spear. I’ll see to it right away, yore’ighness!

Watching from the stern deck, Plugg nodded approvingly. Now, there’s a maid after me own’eart. It ain’t good manners t’make shipmates o’

those Riftgard rats, especially when we’re gonna slay’em later on. Not nice, Slit-fang, I don’t’old wid false’ood.

The steersbeast chuckled. Yore a real gentlefox, Cap’n!

The vast dark bulk of the Seascab plowed on into the night.

Next day was well advanced when Triss and Shogg took their leave of Peace Island. Bistort waited patiently by as they made their farewells to newfound friends.

Welfo stood paw in paw with Urtica, tears shining in her eyes. Say you’ll come back one day, please!

Triss was lost for words, but Shogg replied, We’d be lyin’ if we did, you know that, mate. But no matter where we goes, you’ll be in our thoughts, you’n’Urtica. So both of ye,’ave a good’n’appy life, an’

remember us fondly, that’s the best thing for all. Goodbye, friends!

Bistort caught the otter’s glance and nodded. Come now, else’twill be dark ere you reach your ship. He strode off swiftly, and they followed him without a backward look.

A long meandering fault in the rock ran from the crater rim down to their vessel, which lay hidden in a secret cove. There were pegs, a long rope and some rough steps at intervals. Bistort left them on the rim.