Brian Jacques - Redwall #20 - Eulalia!

The rat who had led the charge, Bladj, came running back into the bushes, clutching his mouth.

Stringle prodded him with his dagger. "Wot are yew doin' back 'ere? I thought yew was leadin' the charge. Git back out there, ye worm!"

Bladj pulled back his lip angrily, exposing a bleeding gap. "See that? I jus' got two teeth belted out by a flamin' sling-stone. Who are yew callin' a worm, why don't you lead a charge, instead of 'idin' back 'ere an' givin' yore orders!"

Stringle exerted his authority with high bad temper. Whacking the dagger handle hard against the uninjured side of Bladj's jaw, he covered the unfortunate in spittle as he roared into his face. "There, I 'ope ye've lost two teeth on the other side now. I'm in command 'ere, yew don't talk

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t'me like that! Lookit that 'ill, there's gangs of 'em tryin' t'get up t'the top, an' wot's stoppin' 'em, eh?" He struck Bladj on the nosetip with the dagger hilt. "One skinny stripedog wirra sling, chuckin' stones, that's wot! Now yew get back out dere, or it'll be yore 'ead I'll be takin' back to Kurdly on a spearpoint. Go on, show 'em yore not a worm, let's 'ear yew yellin' loud enough t'put the fear of 'ellgates inter those stripe'ounds. There's enough of us to eat 'em both!"

As the savage war cries rose in intensity, Gorath came hurrying back to Salixa's aid. He was holding a huge sandstone boulder above his head. Bladj had regained his position at the head of the charge, he was about two thirds up the slopes. Gorath roared out like thunder. "Eulaliiiiaaaaa!"

The boulder slew Bladj, plus the two Brownrats either side of him, who, following his example, had raced forward yelling lustily. Several more rodents were struck by the bodies, and the boulder, as they hurtled downward.

Salixa shot off another stone from her sling. She gazed keenly at her big friend, with his livid scar. "Gorath the Flame, how are you doing?"

He knelt on the edge of the plateau, watching the Brownrats retreat, fearing another boulder assault. "I'm coping, I think. I keep telling myself that I'm a Tabura, do I look wise to you, Salixa?"

She hid a smile, keeping her voice level. "You look so wise that for a moment I thought you were the Tabura himself. One thing your wisdom has accomplished, it's halted their charge, see?"

Gorath dusted off his paws. "Good!" He hurried off in search of another boulder.

Vizka Longtooth had heard the noise, but only faintly, as he stood waiting the arrival of his two forward scouts, the stoats, Dogleg and Patchy. They came stumbling along, pointing back over their shoulders.

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Patchy called out excitedly, "Alorra shoutin' up for'ard, Cap'n!"

Vizka was trying to contain his impatience. "I know, we 'eard it. Did ye go an' see worrit was?"

Dogleg shook his head and scratched his stomach. "Er, no, Cap'n, sounded like sum sorta fightin' I t'ink."

Vizka stuck his wondrous swordpoint into the ground. He seized the two stoats, each by an ear. As he banged their heads together, he chided them like children. "You t'ink? Youse 'aven't got enuff brains between ya to t'ink. Scouts are supposed to scout, not t'ink!" He dropped both stoats and retrieved his sword. "Fall in wid der crew, we'll go an' see wot all der shoutin' an' yellin's about. Keep ya paws on dose blades, an' keep yer eyes skinned, all of ya!"

Rangval whispered to Maudie, "This could be a grand ould chance for us to part company with these rascals."

As if he had heard the remark, Vizka smirked at the captives. "Youse ain't goin' anywhere. Ruglat, Saltear, Undril, yew stay 'ere an' guard 'em. Lash dat branch off to a tree, an' see dey don't make no funny moves, an' don't take any lip off dem!" He signalled the Bludgullet's crew with his sword.

When the main party had left, Maudie sized up their three guards. Ruglat was the surly weasel who had struck her with a spearbutt. Saltear was a fat, slovenly stoat, and Undril was a young weasel, fit and sly-faced.

Orkwil murmured to his two friends, "What d'ye think, could we handle 'em?"

Rangval winked at the young hedgehog. "Sure, I think we could cope with these three puddens, providin' we can deal with the ropes."

Saltear, who had commandeered Rangval's three daggers, drew one of them threateningly, glaring at the squirrel. "Ahoy, big gob, shut ya mouth, or I'll cut ya tongue off!"

Ruglat interrupted him. "Let's git dis branch tied off so

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dey can't wander away." He pointed to a pair of small oaks growing close together. "Tie off de ends o' der branch atween dem trees."

Dragging the prisoners across to the oaks, they bound both ends of the branch to either trunk.

Maudie enquired politely, "Permission to speak, sah, if y'please."

Saltear scowled. "Wotja want, rabbet?"

Maudie smiled coyly. "I suppose a drink of water's out the question...." She saw Saltear's scowl deepen, and continued. "I don't suppose you'd consider loosening off these confounded ropes, jolly uncomfortable on the old neck'n'paws, doncha know."

Ruglat thrust Saltear roughly aside. Springing forward, he punched Maudie on the cheek, hard. Ruglat bellowed, "Sharraaaaap! One more werd outta yew, rabbet, an' yer dead meat, do ya 'ear me?"

The haremaid's head was lolling loosely over the branch. Rangval answered for her. "Ah, faith, sir, ye've knocked her out cold, she won't be hearin' anybeast for awhile, I'm thinkin'."

Ruglat spat on his clenched paw, puffing out his chest. "Hah, dat should keep 'er quiet. Jus' one word out o' yew two an' I'll give ye der same, now sharrap!"

The three vermin retired a short distance away. They began building a fire, to roast some roots they had found along the way.

The branch bounced slightly, quivering under Orkwil's chin. He whispered urgently, "Maudie, are you alright?"

Contrary to the vermin's expectations, Maudie had not been knocked cold, she was wide awake. "I'm fine, thank you. Now then, you chaps, here's the flippin' plan, wot!"

Rangval chuckled quietly. "I knew 'twould take more'n some snotty-snouted ould vermin to knock ye out, Maudie me darlin'. We're all ears, wot's yore grand scheme, eh?"

Staying in her unconscious position, Maudie communicated

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her ruse in hushed tones. "Actually, I've been testing this bally branch, an' I don't think it'll stand up to much. Now, here's what we do, chaps. Keep an eye on those clods while y'do this. Move together slowly, so as we're hunched together, like three peas in a bloomin' pod. Good, that's the ticket!"

Orkwil whispered eagerly, "What d'you plan on doin'?"

Rangval kicked the young hedgehog's paw lightly. "Give over now, an' lissen to the brainy beauty. Go on, marm, ye've got the floor, or should I say the branch."

The haremaid continued, "Righto, grip the branch tightly now, get your chins well settled on it. Good, when I count to three, give a great leap upward, an' lean down hard on the branch as you come down. I think this confounded branch will break under our combined weight."

With his chin anchored firmly on the branch, Rangval spoke through his clenched teeth. "Ye'll pardon me askin', marm, but wot happens if it don't?"

Orkwil growled. "Then we'll just bounce up'n'down 'til it does. Wot then, miss?"

"Then you two take the broken ends an' set about 'em. Rangval, you take the stoat, Orkwil, you tackle the smallest of the two weasels. Leave the one they call Ruglat to me, I owe him one or two good 'uns! Ready? Right chaps, here goes. One ... two ... three. Jump!"

The vermin heard the crack, and saw the three prisoners leap in the air again. Ruglat grabbed his spear, bounding upright. "Ahoy, wot's goin' on dere?" He and his fellow guards came running. There was another crack as Maudie shouted exultantly.

"One more'll do it, buckoes! One, two, three, jump!"