David Gemmell - Wolf in Shadow

'Can you not tell me where to look?'

'No, for I do not know what you seek!'

'I want to find God.'

Ruth pressed his hand gently. 'Do you think he hides from you?'

'That's not what I meant. I have tried to live in a way that does his will. You understand? I have nothing, I want nothing. And yet… I am not content.'

'I will tell you something, Jon. Even were you to read all these books, and know all the secrets of the world, still you would not be content. For you see yourself as Batik saw you: God's gardener, weeding the land, but never fast enough, or fully enough, or completely enough.'

'Do you say it is wrong to defend the weak?'

'I am not a judge.'

'Then what are you? What is this place?'

'I told you last night. There are no angels here, Jon. We are people.'

'You keep saying "We", but I see no one else.'

'There are four hundred people here, but they do not wish to be seen. It is their choice.'

'Is this a dream?' he asked dully.

'No. Believe me.'

'I do believe you, Ruth. I believe everything you say — and it helps me not at all. Outside there are men hunting me, and the woman I love is in terrible danger. There is a man I am pledged to destroy — a man that I know I hate — yet here that hatred seems such a small thing.'

'You speak of the man who calls himself Abaddon?'

'Yes.'

'An empty man.'

'His warriors butchered Karitas and his people — women, children.'

'And now you will try to kill him?'

'Yes. As the Lord of Hosts told Joshua to kill the unholy.'

Ruth released his hand and leaned back. 'You speak of the destruction of Ai and the thirty-two cities. "And so it was that all who fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand, even all the men ofAi. For Joshua drew not his hand back. . until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of Ai."'

'Yes, the very Book that Abaddon quoted to me. He said he had based all his methods on the atrocities of the people of Israel.'

'This hurt you, Jon — as it was intended to do.'

'How could it not hurt me? He was right. If I had lived in those days, and seen an invading army killing women and children, I would have fought against them with all my might. What was the difference between the children of Ai and the children of Karitas' village?'

'None,' said Ruth.

'Then Abaddon was right.'

'That is for you to decide.'

'I need to know what you think, Ruth. For I know there is no evil in you. Tell me.'

'I cannot walk your path, Jon, and I would not presume to tell you what was right five thousand years ago. I oppose Abaddon in a different way. He serves the Prince of Lies, the Lord of Deceit.

Here we answer that with the truth of Love — with Karitas, Jon.'

'Love does not turn aside bullets and knives.'

'No.'

'Then what good is it?'

'It turns hearts and minds.'

'Among the Hellborn?'

'We have more than two hundred converts among the Hellborn, despite the burnings and the killings. And the numbers grow daily.'

'How do you reach these converts?'

'My people go from here to live among the Hellborn.'

'By choice?'

'Yes.'

'And they are killed?'

'Many of them have died. Others will die.'

'But with all your power, you could destroy Abaddon and save their lives.'

That is part of the truth, Jon. True power comes only when one learns not to use it. It is one of the Mysteries. But now the hour is past, and you must leave on your journey.'

'But I have learned nothing.'

Time will tell. The boy, Selah, will remain here with us.'

'Does he desire this?'

'Yes. You may see him for your farewells.'

'Without him, Batik and I would have passed you by just like the Zealots?'

'Yes.'

'Because no evil may come here?'

'I am afraid so.'

Then I have learned something.'

'Use your knowledge well.'

Shannow followed Ruth back to his room and there lay his clothes, fresh and clean. He dressed and made to leave, but the grey-haired woman stopped him.

'You have forgotten your guns, Jon Shannow.'

They lay on the floor where he had left them and he bent to lift the belt. As he touched it, his harmony vanished. He swung the belt around his waist and walked through the door. Batik waited by the horses, and Selah stood by him. The boy was dressed now in a robe of white and he smiled as Shannow approached.

'I must stay,' he said. 'Forgive me.'

There is nothing to forgive, lad. You will be safe here.'

He mounted swiftly and rode from the buildings, Batik beside him. After a while he looked back, and the plain was empty.

The world is a strange place,' said Batik.

'Where did you go?'

'I stayed with the woman Ruth.'

'What did she tell you?'

'Probably less than she told you. I tell you this, though — I wish we had never found the place.'

'Amen to that,' said Shannow.

The two men skirted a great lake edged with pine forests, and the ground beyond the water rose into a section of rock hills. Shannow drew rein and scanned the area.

'If they are there, you wouldn't see them,' Batik pointed out.

Shannow moved the gelding forward and they rode with care to the crest of the hill. Below them the last section of the plain stretched to the foothills of the mountain range. There was no sign of the Zealots.

'You know their methods,' said Shannow. 'What would they have done once they lost us?'

They're not used to losing trails, Shannow. They would have possessed an eagle or a hawk and quartered the land looking for a sign. Since they couldn't see the buildings they would have then, perhaps, split up into their own sections and spread out for a search.'

Then where are they?'

'Damned if I know.'

'I don't like the idea of heading out into open ground.'

'No. Let's just sit here on the skyline until they spot us!'

Shannow grinned and urged the gelding down the hill. They rode for an hour over the undulating plain, discovering deep gulleys that scored the ground as if giant trowels had scooped away the earth. In one of these gulleys they came across a huge, curved bone some fifteen feet in length.

Shannow dismounted and left the gelding grazing. The bone was at least eight inches in diameter; Batik joined him and the two men lifted it.

'I wouldn't have wanted to meet the owner of this while he walked,' said the Hellborn. They dropped the bone and searched the ground. Jutting from the earth was a second bone and then Batik found a third, just showing in the tall grass ten paces to the right.

'It looks to be part of a rib-cage,' said Shannow. Thirty paces ahead Batik found an even larger section, with teeth attached. When the two men dug it clear, the bone was shaped like a colossal V.

'Have you ever seen anything with a mouth that big?' asked Batik. 'Or heard of such a thing?'

'Selah said there were monsters here; he said his father had seen them.'

Batik looked back. 'It must be thirty feet from head to rib-cage. Its legs must have been enormous.' They searched for some time, but found no evidence of such limbs.

'Maybe wolves took them,' suggested Batik.

Shannow shook his head. The leg bones would have been twice the thickness of the ribs; they must be here.'

'It's mostly buried — maybe the legs are way below ground.'

'No. Look at the curve of the bone jutting from the grass. The creature died on its back, otherwise we would find the vertebrae on the surface.'

'One of life's mysteries,' said Batik. 'Let's move on.'

Shannow dusted the dirt from his hands and mounted the gelding.

'I hate mysteries,' he said, staring down at the remains. 'There should be four legs. I wish I had time to examine it.'

'If wishes were fishes, poor men wouldn't starve,' said Batik. 'Let's go.'