Edward Whittemore - Nile Shadows

And Joe? Why had she thought of him tonight? Or did she always think of him at this time of the year especially. . remembering their long-ago trip to the Sinai and their month together in a tiny oasis on the Gulf of Aqaba. Brilliant waters and sands that burned and the stunning sunsets of the desert bursting over them, and the breezes of the all-healing sea, the eternal stillness of dawn in the beginning of love. .

Yes, that must have been why she had thought of Joe tonight. It was the time of the year and Stern leaving once more as Joe had left so often when he worked for Stern long ago in Jerusalem. . some coincidence of little things in her mind. The tricks of memory mixing the years together as she sat up late on her narrow balcony, gazing out over the great restless city and thinking of many things but above all of Stern.

The voice, the eyes, the incessant touching. . could it really be that he was finally coming apart like the world itself? Stern with his lifelong dream of a great peaceful new nation in the Middle East the vision shaken in the monstrous slaughter of the First World War only to be shattered in the madness of the Second World War. Nothing left for Stern now because no one wanted to hear of his hopeless dreams, not the Arabs and not the Jews. . no one. And yet Stern had known all of that for years, so why did he go on doing what he did? Why did he struggle endlessly when there was no end for what he sought?

In the darkness Maud suddenly laughed at herself, laughing at her own musings.

Why does he? . . but why do any of us? Why do we go on trying when what we hope for will always be beyond us? When we can never more than touch the lives of others in passing? When even our own life must forever be tentative and incomplete and out of reach, no more than a shadow of what we long for?

So perhaps it wasn't that hard in the end to understand why people felt so strongly about Stern, even men like the waiters in her little square, chance acquaintances who knew almost nothing about him. Quite simply, they saw in Stern something they wished they had been able to see in themselves. A refusal to accept the pathetic limits of life, a defiance to the pathetic failures of hope. .

We have to be more, he used to say. It's no longer enough to be what we were. We're dreaming creatures who have learned to reach beyond ourselves, unlike any other animal, who can therefore decide what we will become. And no matter how it terrifies us, there's no other way for us to be now. .

.

And the great dark head thrown back as the mysterious smile came over his face.

. . so it isn't true any longer that we can just create ourselves. Now we must. Our childhood as a race is over and there's no going back, no escape into barbarism, no way to lose ourselves in the mindlessness of our animal past. Now we have to be free in order to be at all. The child within us prefers its instinctual cage, and the wars of this century are the final tantrums of our childhood's end, but the wars can't go on and on and we all sense that. Our killing toys have become too clever and our killing fields have become the entire earth, and now we either have to put aside our childish ways or refuse to, and in refusing, renounce life. I mean destroy ourselves utterly. .

Oh yes, she thought. Stern and his invincible dreams and the legions of little people who seize hope from the fires that go on consuming him in the dark places of his soul, Stern with his alcohol and his morphine and the crumbling defiance of his vision. . Tired, he had said. Exhausted, he had said.

From her little balcony Maud gazed out at the soft lights of the restless city, thinking of the wilderness not many miles away where great armies were slaughtering each other across the barren sands, as ferocious as blind animals ripping and clawing in the night.

Poor Stern, she thought, poor all of us. And have we really become like him. . too grand a dream to survive?

— 9-

Menelik

Joe awoke in his tiny room in the Hotel Babylon on a Sunday morning, having been lost in fever since Friday night. Liffy was still sitting at the table beside him, keeping watch, as he had been for most of that time. While Joe recounted the strange tale of his trip to the Monastery, Liffy squirmed uncomfortably and his face grew more and more pinched with pain. Finally he opened his mouth and let fly with a thunderous clap of gas, followed by an explosive barrage of gurgles and sighs. He smiled weakly, patting his stomach.

How's that, Joe? The Bletch, you say? Well it's ominous all right but I can't say it surprises me particularly, only because nothing having to do with war surprises me. An all-seeing one-eyed Bletch in charge of the Monastery? It's madness, that's all. It's all madness and I try not to think about it. .

Liffy's stomach went on rumbling noisily. Joe asked him if he had ever heard of the two women known as the Sisters, whom Bletchley had mentioned.

Heard of them certainly, said Liffy, but that's no help to you. Anyone who's spent any time in Cairo has heard of those social lionesses of yesteryear, the two of them so old and famous it's rumored they might once have been on intimate terms with the Sphinx back before he was turned to stone, as so often happens with good ideas. But that was yesteryear and now the fabled Sisters live in seclusion in a houseboat on the Nile, watching time go by, a counterpart to the Sphinx in the desert. . But what, pray, does it all amount to? Has Bletchley suddenly gone philosophical on us? Just lost his grip and decided that the darkest hour of a dark war is the time to do some serious brooding over the enigma of the Nile and the Sphinx? Somehow it seems unlikely.

Joe nodded.

It does, all right, but Bletchley has a way of not appearing to say much when in fact he's saying a great deal. Now the last thing he mentioned at the Monastery was old Menelik and the Sisters, almost in the same breath, but why? And what's the connection between them, and what's that got to do with Stern today?

Liffy grew thoughtful.

Today, he muttered. The here and the now. . That's always a confusing matter, isn't it, because who knows what's here or now in someone else's mind?. .

Abruptly Liffy smiled, whistled.

Wait, don't move. When you and I saw Stern in the eye of the Sphinx, it was in a lookout old Menelik had fashioned for himself in the last century. But that wasn't the only secret place that was dear to the old sage's heart, was it? There's also his crypt right here in Cairo beside the Nile, that ancient mausoleum beneath a public garden where he lived his last years. Now what about that, Joe?

Joe rubbed his eyes and gazed at the bottle of gin on the table.

It sounds fine to me. What about it?

Ah well. Today, Ahmad uses that crypt as his secret workshop, the place where he keeps his printing press and his engraving tools and so forth. I'll get to that. But first, didn't Bletchley make some comment when he mentioned old Menelik and the Sisters? Some attribute they had in common? You alluded to it.

. what was it exactly?

Joe frowned.

You mean the fact that old Menelik was also something of a society figure in his day?

Liffy's hand shot out and he pointed at Joe.

Precisely. And who, by chance, just happens to be the expert on all Cairo social matters having to do with yesteryear?. . Who, you say? Why Ahmad, of course. Ahmad, none other. The society pages of thirty-year-old newspapers are his specialty. . So then. What Bletchley seems to be saying is that to find out the truth about Stern, you must first find out the truth about old Menelik and the Sisters. And the key to that must be an excursion into Ahmad's past, because it is Ahmad who holds the key to Menelik's secret crypt today. Of course. Who else? This is Ahmad's clandestine workshop we're talking about, his underground truth.