Louise Welsh - Naming the Bones

He asked, ‘Did Lyn call you back?’

‘Yes.’ Jack stared at a line of photographs and he might have been checking they were straight. ‘She’s going to let me come to the birth. It’s a start.’

‘The baby isn’t due for three months. Maybe things will have moved on by then.’

‘Maybe.’ Jack didn’t look convinced.

‘Is she coming tomorrow?’

‘I don’t think so. Her own opening’s at the end of the week, there’ll still be things to prepare. It’s a while since she’s exhibited. She never had time when she was working at that place.’ He glanced at Murray. ‘Did she send you an invite?’

‘I can give it a miss if you like.’

‘No, go. Put in a good word for me.’

This was how they were with each other these days — polite, considerate — not like brothers at all, it sometimes seemed. Murray supposed it was a consequence of their sharing his small apartment. There was too much of a danger that in the cramped space their usual banter might descend into acrimony. But it was more than that. They had talked a lot in the weeks after — about their parents, Lyn, Cressida, Murray’s strange adventure — and now it seemed there was nothing much left to say. It didn’t matter. There was time.

He said, ‘Do you fancy a pint?’

‘Maybe later, I’ve still got a few things to do here.’ Jack put a hand on Murray’s arm and nodded towards the young curator. ‘Why don’t you ask Aliah? She’s big into books and I happened to let slip you’re a doctor of English literature.’

‘Ach, I don’t know, Jack. I’m meeting the university press tomorrow.’

‘You don’t have to get wellied.’

‘All the same, it took a while to set this up.’

Jack shook his head.

‘Amazing you can be sure the poems were Lunan’s.’

‘Surely it’s the same with visual art? You can tell who made a work even if they didn’t sign it.’

‘Nah,’ Jack laughed. ‘The art world’s full of frauds, but most of them take the money and run, unlike your professor. Imagine buying up second-hand editions for all those years, trying to suppress the work in case someone clicked that it belonged to Archie. Does Baine’s wife know her husband was a poetry thief?’

‘Yes.’ Murray looked away. He tried to avoid thinking of Rachel these days.

He’d phoned her at home after his return and been met with the shy English tones of her mother, who’d thanked him for his concern and promised to pass on his condolences. His letter had taken days to write. It said nothing and remained unanswered. It was a Sunday morning in the third week of spring term when Murray noticed that the door to Rachel’s office was ajar. He’d hesitated for a beat, then knocked softly and pushed it wide.

For a second he thought the woman filling the cardboard carton with books from the tall shelves that edged the room was Rachel. Then she turned and he saw that although she had the same slight build and gleaming hair, she was a little older, her features different.

‘I’m sorry.’ There was an apologetic tremor to his voice. ‘I thought Dr Houghton might have dropped by.’

The woman glanced towards the gloomy corner where a neglected cheese plant drooped, its wilting leaves blocking the light from the window. Rachel straightened up from behind the desk where she had been crouched, a book destined for the box she was packing still clutched in her hand. She was dressed casually in jeans and a rough-knit sweater that looked several sizes too large. Murray realised it had probably belonged to Fergus.

‘Murray.’

Her eyes looked bigger than he remembered. Their lids had a bruised look. The sense of guilt that had shadowed him since the final night on the island took on a darker hue. He stood awkwardly on the threshold, not quite able to bring himself to enter the room.

‘I saw your door was open.’

‘I’m collecting the last of my stuff.’

The other woman glared at him.

‘A car’s on its way for us.’

Rachel dropped the book she was holding into a box and said, ‘Maybe you could go and check whether it’s there, please, Jenny.’

It was more of an order than a request. The older woman paused. For a moment Murray thought she was about to refuse, but then she let out a sigh and pushed past him without a word.

Rachel said, ‘You may as well shut the door. Who knows who else might be lurking here on a Sunday morning.’

Murray closed it gently, hearing the soft click of the latch as it sank home.

‘Maybe the rest of the department have a life.’

Rachel turned away, lifting more books from the shelf and fitting them neatly into the box.

‘Thanks for your letter. I’m sorry I didn’t get time to answer it.’

‘No one mentioned you were leaving.’

‘No, I’m afraid I’ve been a bit indecisive lately. I only posted my resignation today.’

Murray nodded, not daring to speak for a moment, then asked, ‘Where will you go?’

‘My sister has a house near Fontainebleau. She and her husband have persuaded me to stay with them for a while.’

Her voice was devoid of inflection. It gave her words a vague, robotic quality.

‘Will you come back?’

‘To Glasgow?’ Her eyes met his for a moment. ‘I doubt it.’

He wanted to ask if he could write to her, but instead said, ‘How are you?’

‘As well as can be expected.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Yes, everyone is. It was a great loss. To me, if not to literature.’

Once again the flatness in her voice rendered everything insincere. He watched as she added more volumes to the box, then said, ‘I was on Lismore at the same time as Fergus.’

He waited for Rachel to ask what had happened, unsure of what he would tell her. But she merely nodded.

‘I was going to leave him. I told him before he left for the island. The photographs he sent you were the last straw. Well,’ she gave a small smile, ‘not the photos themselves, the fact that he sent them to you.’

‘He never mentioned you were leaving.’

‘Why would he?’ Rachel slid another stack of books from the shelf and set them in the box at her feet. She turned back to Murray. ‘I couldn’t help wondering if it had anything to do with what happened.’

He felt stupidly out of his depth, standing by the door, his ears straining for the return of her sister.

‘What?’

‘The fact that I was going to leave him. You knew Fergus. He wasn’t a clumsy man. He was graceful, cautious despite his recklessness.’

‘Fergus was the least suicidal person I can think of.’

‘Perhaps. But he was distracted. Maybe, just for a moment, he forgot to be careful.’

‘I was told you’d tried to kill yourself.’

‘Did you believe it?’

Murray nodded, and for the first time Rachel’s voice took on some colour.

‘You should have known better. I may occasionally be unwise, but I’m rarely stupid.’

Murray faltered. The door behind him opened and Rachel’s sister said, ‘Ralph’s downstairs, parking the van.’

Murray asked, ‘Can I help?’

‘No.’ Her voice was curt. ‘We’ll manage, thank you.’

He turned to go, but Rachel called him back.

‘Murray, remember — take good care of yourself.’

‘You too.’ He gave her a last smile and stepped back into the familiar darkness of the department corridor.

Jack said, ‘You did what you set out to do. You resurrected Archie Lunan. Two posthumous books in the same year, that’s bound to make a splash. Remember you said you’d let me have a look at the sci-fi novel as soon as you’d made a copy.’

‘Sure. Shall I photocopy the poems for you too?’

Jack shrugged. ‘If you like.’

It was the answer he’d anticipated, and Murray smiled in spite of himself.