Caleb Crain - Necessary Errors

In most of the men in a gay bar there is a greater responsiveness than is usual in the world outside, and though most of them make it a piece of strategy to restrain their response, and though the elements composing it are more often subtle than not — a shift of weight, an extra blink of the eyes, an effort not to look at something that naturally draws attention — its presence is palpable; the room vibrates with it. It was therefore exceptional that the man indicated by Luboš gave no sign that he was aware that Jacob and Luboš were discussing him. Jacob did not at first appreciate this absence fully; he merely took it as an opportunity to study the man, angular but otherwise nondescript, clean-shaven, about fifty. He was not Czech. Many of the Czechs in the bar wore one or two items of Western clothing, and though the items were, in themselves, cheap, at least to an American eye, in context they nonetheless served as badges of something higher, a wish for color or fineness. This man, however, was dressed entirely in such items, and so there was nothing for them to contrast with, and they appeared merely to be what they were, shoddy clothes, without a brand, loosely sewn together from fabric that wouldn’t have seemed out of place on office furniture. You couldn’t find such clothes in a mall; you could only buy them on a certain kind of city street, where stores go regularly in and out of business.

The man’s presence in the room was like a spot cut out of a map.

— Who is he? Jacob asked.

“Businessman,” said Luboš quietly, in English. Jacob wanted to take Luboš away, immediately. He didn’t want to see the man, any more than the man wanted to be seen, because he compromised the picture that Jacob was composing, even if he was no more than an employer. — He’s French, Luboš added, speaking in Czech again.

Jacob had finished his beer, but he pretended there were still a few drops left and raised his bottle again. For some reason neither he nor Luboš seemed to be able to say anything further. As Jacob watched, Luboš’s face relaxed into a fine indifference, as if he were already wishing Jacob farewell. Jacob studied hungrily the features that went into this diplomatic attitude, but he could not think of a way to open them again.

“Dance?” Jacob asked in English.

— I can’t, Luboš answered. — I must stay here, because my friend does not speak Czech.

This sounded final, at least for the evening. — Do you have a telephone?

— No.

— I am staying with a family, and they have a telephone, Jacob volunteered. He took the number out of his wallet and copied it over on a slip of paper borrowed from the bartender.

— I will call, Luboš said. Jacob had no idea whether he would.

“You are leaving,” Ota inferred, when Jacob appeared at his table. “And now you know Luboš. Is problem.”

“Is the problem Luboš or my meeting him?”

Ota smiled, showing his teeth. “No, no. Forget it. It is good to meet you.” He held Jacob’s hand in both of his when they shook. “I will see you here again.”

The attendant, Ivan, surrendered Jacob’s raincoat easily. At the top of the stairs, the street looked almost exactly as it had when Jacob had arrived. It was slightly darker; the pub that he had mistaken for T-Club was now closed. It was as if the aboveground world didn’t believe in the one he had just been visiting. He walked around the corner to wait for a night tram.

* * *

It was with the feeling of having swum several lengths of a pool underwater and at last emerged into air that Jacob knocked at Mel and Rafe’s apartment the next evening. “Jacob, darling, welcome,” Melinda greeted him at the door. She was wearing a black velvet gown, which showed her off — an English beauty with black hair, slender features, bad posture, and a classic complexion, three drops of red wine in a glass of whole milk. “Are we shaking hands, then?” she continued, and kissed him.

“I’m underdressed.”

“Oh no, darling. My mother posted this off to me, on account of the revolution, she said, and I don’t foresee any occasions more formal, so I thought I should improve the opportunity. It was her mother’s, as it happens.”

“It’s gorgeous.”

“This is my favorite part of it,” interjected Rafe, advancing, and he traced the V of the dress as it exposed the pale, spine-dimpled skin of her back, lightly brushed by the loose tresses of her hair.

Rafe had a boyish face, which he disguised with boxy glasses and flyaway hair. “You and Annie are the first ones here.” He beckoned Jacob into the small, yellow apartment. “I’m amazed we don’t have Kaspar yet. He usually shows up at three in the afternoon when he knows something’s on.” Kaspar was an East German dissident, or had been until recently, when those categories collapsed. Mel and Rafe seemed sometimes to have adopted him, though he was a decade their senior. “To take a bath,” Rafe explained. “We have a lovely bathtub. Have you seen it before?” The tub was at the end of their narrow kitchen, and Jacob discovered Annie sitting at a small table in front of it. They waved at each other; then Jacob leaned over and gave her a kiss, which seemed to give her a mild startle. “It’s not very private,” Rafe continued, “especially if this isn’t your house.”

“Kaspar is without any shame,” Melinda said. “It’s quite refreshing. I’ll be keeping myself demurely in the other room, a novel in hand, and he’ll call to me, while soaking, and demand that I brew him tea.”

“Well, not demand ,” Rafe qualified.

“No, he doesn’t demand, does he. Plead in his engaging, Kaspar-like way, would I mind, could I possibly allow myself to be troubled to make him some tea, which I must then do, of course, eyes schoolgirlishly averted.”

“It’s very sexy, her schoolgirl thing,” Rafe said. “Staropramen, slivovitz, or some wine from Slovenia that happens to be quite good?”

“His informants put him on to it,” Melinda explained.

“I’ll try the wine,” said Jacob. The kitchen’s top shelf was devoted to empty bottles, no two alike, and their number was a kind of boast of well-being, of openness to experiment.

An empty cup and saucer were in front of Annie, and she was staring at them while Mel and Rafe were speaking. When Jacob sat down across from her and asked what she had been up to, she seemed to shake something out of her eyes, or to dust something off of herself, a mood perhaps. “I did the wash this morning. We have machines in the , you know. It’s quite convenient.”

“My landlords let me use theirs, but I’m not sure they’re happy about it. I think the mother and daughter keep it a secret from Mr. Stehlík.”

She nodded in the way of a person not closely listening. “It’s very considerately managed, the . It’s a great luxury for there to be a machine that one has an undisputed right to. I’m very slow about the wash, as a result. I savor it, really. I spend the whole morning.”

“And that was your day.”

“I felt a little melancholy, so I came by early, and Melinda had me on her hands instead of Kaspar. We had a good chat.” She straightened herself in her chair and met Jacob’s gaze.

“You don’t have to say, if you don’t want.”

“Oh, it’s quite tiresome, really,” she said. She claimed that it wasn’t worth going into. She had come to Prague looking for adventure, and she’d found a great deal of that, as much as she wanted, anyway. “But one would like a spot of romance as well. Did you find any, last night? Romance, I mean.”