Tore Renberg - See You Tomorrow

On top of all that there’s Jan Inge, and he’s not strong but he’s the one who runs everything, without him none of them are anything, and Jan Inge loves them all. If he knew about this he wouldn’t go get the shotgun and blast somebody with it, he’d burn down the whole house. Set fire to everything and let everybody die, including himself.

And all these people, they work together. And none of them know she’s pregnant. So what’s she going to do? Sit and wait, see what kind of kid comes out, if it has Korea eyes or ADHD eyes?

‘What do I feel?’ she whispers in a low voice while she listens to Rudi making a racket down in the basement, while she puts on her shoes and opens the front door on the bright, clear September day.

‘In love?’ she says in a low voice as she comes out on to the street. She takes out a bag of Fisherman’s Friend, needs something to get rid of the taste of vomit. Surely she won’t be throwing up every morning from now on? It was probably the sight and smell of Jani stuffing his face with those eggs. He’s way too fat now. He needs to go on a bloody diet, that brother of mine.

Am I in love?

In love with Tong?

At the same time as I love Rudi?

Cecilie glances down at her stomach, gives it a rub and whispers: ‘Don’t you worry about it. Mummy will sort it out. Somehow or other. But right now we need fags, a cinnamon bun and skincare.’

Cecilie walks up to Mix on Hillevågsveien every day and buys twenty Marlboro Lights. She’s tried to bring it under twenty a day but seeing as how she likes smoking so much she’s just not able. She’s set a limit at twenty, which she maintains by smoking precisely one pack each day. She’s pleased with having made the switch from ordinary Marlboro to Marlboro Light, that’s a step in the right direction.

After she’s bought the fags, she usually goes into Romsøes’ Bakery next to the Mattress Master and buys a cinnamon bun. Then she crosses the street, passes Kvaleberg School, cuts over the playground by the old German bunker, wanders over the waste ground, out on to Flintegata, down to the bend in the road by the corn silos and along the street towards the sea where she sits down and looks out over the fjord, towards the heights of Li and Storhaug and at the water in Hillevågsvannet. She smokes two cigarettes, one before and one after eating.

And thinks.

Just thinks.

For years this has been what Cecilie’s liked best about her life. Getting out for a walk, buying cigarettes and cinnamon buns, sitting down by the fjord and thinking. To avoid being at home, to escape listening to Rudi´s prattle. And she still likes it. But now a lot has changed.

She began to notice them pretty much around the same time she started sleeping with Tong. Women in high heels and fancy clothes. They had handbags with gold fastenings. They started appearing in Hillevågsveien. They came in and out of a building across the road from Mix . They looked stylish and pretty. They looked like they came from leafy Eiganes or somewhere.

Mariero Beauty, it said in the window, even though strictly speaking it wasn’t in Mariero but Hillevåg. Spa, it said. Universal Contour Wrap, it said. Classic Skincare, it said. And the women in the high heels and the gold clasps on their handbags, they went in and out of there. Looking radiant, she thought.

One night, after they’d watched Evil Dead, she looked at Rudi with her softest expression and said in her most mellow voice, ‘Rudi boy, baby, I was wondering if I could maybe go down to that skincare place?’ Rudi’s eyes widened: ‘What?’ At first he was in a huff and then he grew angry. What the fuck did she want to doll herself up for? Cecilie thought about how right his family were, about how it wasn’t strange they didn’t want anything to do with him. That greedy brother of his with the psycho wife out in Sandnes. She should have just done it. Should have just gone down to the basement, fetched the axe and planted it in his back while he was asleep. But Cecilie isn’t stupid, so later that night, after she had sucked him off and taken it so far down her throat that she nearly puked, she made it clear to Rudi that it was him she wanted to look good for, then Rudi nodded his approval over and over. After a while he began to smile. Then he began singing the opening lines of ‘Dream On’: ‘Every time that I look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer.’ Eventually he said: ‘I get what you’re saying. You’re knocking on forty. You feel clapped out. Okay, baby, you’ll get five hundred kroner, once a month. All sweet. On the house.’

Now she’s walking along. Pregnant. On her way to the skincare clinic. To beautify herself. For who? Meandyou, Chessi, says Rudi. I’ll do anything for you, says Tong, and he’ll be out on Friday, and tonight she’s going to visit him in Åna for the last time.

Cecilie halts. She brings her hand to her stomach. She’ll need the car tonight. Rudi’s heading out on a job, meeting that sweet Pål guy, the one with the nice dog. That’ll piss him off no end, he hates public transport. But she needs to have the car. It’s too much stress trying to get to Åna without a car.

She whips out her mobile, writes a quick text: ‘Visiting Tong tonight. Need the car. XX. At the skincare place now.’

Cecilie puts the phone back in her jacket pocket, sets it to mute. She arrives at Hillevågsveien. She walks over the pedestrian crossing, into Mix , smiles to Geggi and says, ‘Twenty Marlboro Light, please,’ and he says, ‘The day you quit smoking is the day this place goes out of business,’ and she says, ‘No danger of that, Geggi, I need my fags.’

Cecilie walks down the street to Romsøes, buys a cinnamon bun from the woman who works there, the one who talks about all kinds of things in a way that makes them sound amazing. Then she walks out into the light, heading for Mariero Beauty, with a feeling that there’s going to be a lot of change in a very short space of time.

So much to think about.

A nursery in the basement.

A dog, maybe.

But what if the baby has Korea eyes?

Then there won’t be any nursery.

And there won’t be any dog.

Then the whole house will go up in flames.

‘It’s going to be okay,’ she whispers to her stomach as she opens the door to Mariero Beauty. ‘I’m your mummy and I’m going to look after you forever.’

All she wants to do is throw herself into his arms, take me away from here, I can’t stand it any more, and that’s almost what she does when she sees Daniel driving into the schoolyard. She feels a sensation in her body, like a lead weight plunging down through it, but she tells herself she’s a good girl, that she needs to practise restraint, but she can’t manage: I’ve no control over myself.

Sandra makes Malene promise not to say a word, sweet Malene who feels like a friend all of a sudden, poor Malene who doesn’t know what’s going on with her dad, and she runs towards Daniel.

He dismounts and pulls his helmet off. Daniel looks flustered. His limbs seem uneasy, he rubs his fingertips against each another and he has a worried look in his eyes.

You know what people say about him.

Sandra wants to say something nice to lighten the atmosphere, to make them both smile, but she’s tongue-tied. Is it time for her to hear the truth — what they whisper about him? Something to do with his parents. Something mental. So mental it’s fucked up his head. Daniel Moi has killed someone.

She’s never seen him like this before, as though he’s present but he’s not. Everything about him seems strange. She has the sudden feeling that everything she’s doing is dangerous, that her decision to ignore what he’s gone through is dangerous, and that there’s truth to the rumours about him.