Jewel Ann - Idle Bloom

“So spill, what happened?”

I hold up two fingers to make a V.

“Seriously? That’s a problem?”

I shrug. “Apparently.”

“What’s a problem?” Annabelle asks.

Both of our eyes widen and Alex giggles. “Nothing, there’s this guy that Flower likes but he’s being weird about her … height.”

I roll my eyes.

“Viv, you’re a beautiful young woman. I’d love to have your long legs, sweetie. I’m sure you just intimidate him, which means he’s not the one for you.”

Alex nods. “Yes, he’s just intimidated by your height . Those long legs of yours and the way they form a perfect V.” She giggles some more.

Annabelle smacks Alex’s butt. “Why are you acting so goofy today? Hop off and set the table.”

Alex hops down and we both carry the plates and silverware into the dining room.

“He really dumped you because you’re a virgin?” she whispers.

“ Dumped is a little extreme, but yes, he decided we should be neighbors or friends because of the age difference and him not having what I want. Which is total code for I’m a virgin, especially given the fact it was the last conversation we had before he decided to … well, yes, dump me.”

“Ahem.” Annabelle clears her throat as she and Mark stand a few feet behind us with their hands full of serving dishes.

Great! The knowledge of my virginity just keeps spreading like a virus. I need to get rid of it before it goes any further.

“You asked Chance out?” Alex’s screech bounces off the walls of my bedroom as I gather some spare clothes.

“That’s what I said.” I laugh.

“Yeah, but … why? Is it to make Oliver jealous?”

“No, definitely not that.” I plop on my bed. “If I tell you, can you keep it to yourself?”

“Of course. You know me.” Alex flips her hair back like my question is ridiculous.

“Sure I can. That’s why Sean knows everything I’ve ever told you.”

“Not everything .”

“Mmm hmm, whatever.” I grimace as I take in a deep breath. “I’m just using Chance to lose my virginity.”

“What? Flower, are you serious?” Alex sits down next to me.

I nod. “I’m not doing it to get Oliver back. Obviously if that were the case I wouldn’t choose his brother. It’s just that Oliver made me believe that maybe I’m not destined to be an eternal virgin, and if that’s the case I want to know that when the right guy comes along I’m not dealing with this virgin issue again.”

Alex giggles. “I love the way you’re referring to it as the ‘virgin issue,’ like a yeast infection or something.”

“Well, if you would have seen the way Oliver looked at me when I told him, it might as well have been a yeast infection or an STD for that matter.”

“Are you sure Chance is the best choice? I didn’t think you were interested.”

“I’m not. That’s what makes him ideal. He’s a total player and one-night stands are his specialty. He’s good looking and relatively nice, even if his kindness is often misplaced as inappropriate advances.”

Alex picks at her bottom lip. “But … don’t you want your first time to be special?”

“Was yours?”

She shrugs. “No, but …”

“But what?”

“I don’t know.” She laughs. “I just said it because I thought it was the right thing to say. You know, like talking someone off the edge of a cliff.”

I chuckle. “Thanks, but I’m twenty-one, not fifteen.”

“Does he know?”

“Chance?”

Alex nods.

“I don’t think so. Not unless Oliver told him. I just asked him out and basically alluded to the fact that he was going to get laid and it would be a one-time deal. I didn’t say ‘Hey, can I interest you in dinner, a movie, and my virginity?’”

“You should have.”

We both chuckle.

“What about your back?”

“That’s another reason I picked Chance. Something tells me that if I wear the right skirt or dress, sans panties, he’s the type of guy who can happily get the job done without removing all our clothes. I’m thinking a button down, open in the front bra, and knee length skirt.”

“Only my brainy business friend would approach losing her virginity like a strategic business transaction.”

“So help me, God, if you tell Kai I will murder you right after I tell your parents about our little housing and work arrangement.”

“Me––ow, put your claws away. Save the catfight for all the women who are going to hate that you’re officially putting yourself back on the market.”

I shove her off the bed. “Shut up. I’m just getting rid of my yeast infection , nothing more.”

She stands back up with a goofy grin. “Oh, by the way … my parents are leaving tonight. My dad has to get back for a meeting and I’m going to Sean’s as soon as they leave. So no need to pack more stuff.” She gestures to my bag. “You’ll be here by yourself to bask in your non-virgin glow. Unless you stay the night at Chance’s.”

“Yeah, not happening.”

Oliver

Another self-diagnosis. I’m reverting back to childish ways of discarding a toy and deciding I want it again when my younger brother claims it for his own. The difference is I don’t want Vivian, I need her. Not because I want to. I don’t. The last thing I ever wanted was to need someone again.

“Where should I take Viv to dinner tonight?” Chance asks as we load up the truck.

He’s managed to go the past two days without mentioning his date, until now.

“I don’t know. Where do you usually go … oh, that’s right, you usually just have meaningless sex and send them off with cab fare and a gift card to Panera.”

“I’ll have you know I give them a Charlie Card for the subway or bus because cab fare is ridiculously expensive and the gift card is to 7-Eleven, not Panera.” We both get in the truck and he adjusts his baseball cap with his familiar dumb-shit grin smeared across his face.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’d rather be an idiot taking Viv back to my place tonight than a nerd going home by myself.”

“Whatever.” I sigh looking out the window. I should tell him Vivian is my neighbor, the girl I was seeing, the virgin, but I can’t. He wouldn’t understand why I broke things off with her, and he wouldn’t understand why I need her. I can’t even explain it to myself. Maybe he’ll get sick. Maybe she’ll get cold feet. Maybe I’ll lose the last bit of my sanity sitting alone in my house imagining them together.

Most likely I’ll get drunk and pass out because my mind has nowhere to go that isn’t painful. I’m barely holding it together knowing my parents are in Portland. Everywhere my thoughts travel, there is a road block. I could find a detour and deal with each problem one at a time, but it’s easier to just idle until I run out of gas, stalled in the middle of nowhere, completely alone.

“What would you think about swapping vehicles for tonight?” Chance asks, pulling up to the curb in front of my house.

I look across the street and dream of Vivian stepping out of her door, Chance making the connection, and maybe their date tonight getting cancelled. No such luck.

“Don’t you think she’d wonder why you’re driving my car?”

“How would she know it’s yours? Do you have the title taped to the dash?”

“Why would she think you drive a BMW?”

“Duh, because I’m a successful business owner. It would only make sense that I have a non-work car.”

I open my door. “Then why don’t you?”

Chance’s eyes widen and he juts his head toward me. “Because I’m not that successful, but she doesn’t need to know that.”