Omar Musa - Here Come the Dogs

‘Where you been, ya poof?’ He laughs and hands Jimmy two more drinks, while he sips a water.

‘Oi. Heaps of nice ones here, brother. Take your pick. Aw, to be single again, ay?’

‘Yeah, man. Already got my eye on one. Chick from the travel agency, ay. Check her out.’

They lean over the balcony. The spot where she was dancing is now empty and soon fills with other bodies.

‘Aw shit. She was just there, man.’

‘Yeh, right. Does she even exist?’

They clink glasses so hard that Jimmy’s glass breaks. Aleks takes him by the shoulders and looks him in the eye. ‘Brother, don’t ever let them tell you that you’re nothing. You’re worth something, all right? I’m here for ya.’

They hug, then Aleks’ shoulders slacken and he yells, ‘Another drink for Jimmy!’

‘Hold on. Needa piss.’

Jimmy heads to the bathroom, bloated. The line is long but moves quickly. He takes a long slash and sees vomit in the urinal already. On top of the trough are half-finished beers and mixed drinks — some of the glasses are filled with piss. There’s a bloke stripped to the waist resting on his elbows over the basin, hair hanging in sour, black bourbon-and-coke vomit.

‘You all right, mate?’

He waves Jimmy away with a limp hand.

Jimmy lurches down a hallway and into the stairwell. A door closes behind him. The music is momentarily muted and he is by himself. It’s dank and humid and he feels very alone. There’s a door at the bottom of the stairs, and flaring behind it are lights and strafing strobes. He spits against the wall and a bit gets on his shirt so he wipes at it and pushes the door open. The music hits him hard and he immediately puts a hand in the air. It’s auto-tuned bullshit but he doesn’t care and torpedoes into the crowd, dancing and bobbing his head. He bumps into a big black dude who spills Coke on his shoes. Sorry, mate. He says nothing but pushes Jimmy forward and he stumbles further into the furrow of bodies. A Tongan bloke his brother knows appears in front of him, leering, and pushes another drink into his hand and starts talking in his ear. He can’t hear a word and the voice over the speakers is saying ‘MOVE, MOTHERFUCKER, MOVE,’ but instead he rests an elbow on the bar, looking again for Hailee. He turns back and sees the Tongan’s waiting for an answer and he doesn’t really know what to say so he yells, ‘For sure’, which seems to satisfy him. He grabs a half-finished drink from a table and drains it. There’s dry ice now and people’s faces appear out of the smoke, like triangular masks, inebriated phantoms. He dances by himself near the DJ booth and ends up in a circle of lads who put their arms around his shoulders, jump up and down to the music like they’ve won a championship game. He tries to catch a pretty blonde’s eye. She turns away. He can’t quite hit the beat with his hips and knees so he stands still and bobs his head. With one hand he types a text to Hailee: where u? Smoke is dissipating and he thinks he sees Solomon dancing with a brunette. He cannonballs through the crowd and hears a domino of expletives as he bounces off people. He snatches a glance of Hailee through waving arms and pushes through, but nah it’s not even her so he steadies himself against the bar and grabs some ice from a glass and presses it to his forehead. Aleks appears by his side, hands him another drink and says, ‘One for the road buddy, we gotta go soon.’ Jimmy shoots down the liquor, gags, calms himself, and then texts again. Where u? im at bar. He feels queasy in the bathroom and glass crunches underfoot. He throws up in the sink and it’s full now. There’s a used condom in there. He feels a bit better, but. Aleks is waiting for him and he must be stumbling because Aleks catches Jimmy under the arm and begins to guide him through the crowd. He’s about to go up the stairs when he sees Hailee, sitting with a group on a couch. It’s a bit dark but when his eyes adjust he sees that she’s with that smarmy cunt from the cafe. ‘Nah, Aleks, that’s her, bra. I gotta go talk to her.’ ‘You’re too. Ah, okay. I’ll be having a ciggie outside. Come up ASAP. We gotta go.’ Jimmy buys another shot and a bourbon and everything is tilting. He sits on the couch opposite Hailee and smiles. Her friends go silent, looking at him expectantly, ammo and gossip in their bleached teeth. ‘Hey.’ ‘Hey.’ She looks confused and scratches the back of her head. ‘This is Greg.’ ‘Hey, man.’ Jimmy feels confused. ‘Big night?’ ‘Not really. I’m driving.’ ‘Aw, sweet.’ ‘You?’ ‘Nah not driving. Oh, big night? Yer. Yer, I’m, um, I’m here with mates.’ ‘Oh, cool. Where are they?’ Greg sniggers. ‘What? So. big night then?’ ‘No. I’m driving.’ Fuck. ‘Yeh, of course. Sorry.’ Music too loud in here. The others turn back to their conversations. Big screen playing the latest Lil’ Wayne and Drake song. Diamond teeth, palm trees and cars. When did Drake get so big? ‘Hey, I’ve got big plans you know!’ Greg and Hailee look at each other and then back at Jimmy, grinning. ‘Yeh, I wanna —’ His mouth not forming the vowels. Hailee’s hand on Greg’s knee. ‘Cool. Have a good one then, guys. Good to meet you, bro.’ Jimmy stands up and looks back at her and she’s smiling in a way he can’t quite pin down and he’s furious but glad to be walking up the stairs away away away. He’s outside in the alley sharing a cigarette and someone tells a joke and then he’s inhaling sweet weed smoke, the tip of the joint glowing like a cat’s eye in the dark and he stares back at it and blows the smoke. He’s back in the club. Bar chick looking at him dubiously but pouring another one and a chaser. Hailee. He’ll find her again and do better this time. Pissing and then sick again. He falls against the wall and somebody has him by the collar and is helping him up, left foot, right foot, dragging him and he’s saying thanks mate sorry but his feet aren’t working and he throws up again next to the bouncers and stumbles forward, slipping in the sick, gets balance and then falls again and wishes for nothing else but to sleep. The club line upside down. Then baubles of lights above and a certain type of darkness and he can hear himself breathing but it’s from afar, maybe down a long hallway. ‘This guy is fucked! He your mate?’ And someone is pulling him up again and pushing him forward on his unwilling feet and he gains lucidity for a second to see blonde hair go by and he says Hailee but he’s not sure cos it could be anyone. Where’s Aleks? ‘I’m not taking him in this state. No way. He’ll throw up in the cab. Ah, for fuck’s sake.’

* * *

Sitting.

Oh.

So.

Still.

Still fucked up but everything’s silent now.

He’s at his mum’s place somehow,

in Solomon’s room.

Solomon’s not there.

Jimmy listens to himself breathing

as he looks out the window.

The carpark is lit by lamplight.

It is never dark.

He sits watching, feeling as if he is on the rim of the world.

The carpark was once a paddock,

dark and calm.

There were apple trees

and a broken wall the boys scrawled

their first tags on.

The night reels back and forth

in his mind,

on repeat.

Gonna try to stay up till dawn.

Her skin is frost –

like we’ve never met,

like this is the first time.

She bites my bottom lip gently

and soon there’s warmth.

We are trying to get a hold with our eyes,

but each of us is slippery with shadow.

The Manuka honey moisturiser

she wears is overpowering.

I’ve ended up at Jimmy’s house somehow,

but he’s not here.

She moves her hands upwards