Gregory Roberts - The Mountain Shadow

‘What were you going to do, if I did something crazy?’

‘Smooth it over with the authorities, and get you out of the country and back to Bombay as quick as possible.’

‘That’s it?’

‘I swear. And I don’t know any more.’

‘Okay. Okay. I’m sorry for that crack, about spitting your teeth out. I felt like I was walking into a trap for a minute or two there.’

‘ You are not in danger,’ he said comfortingly. ‘But do not go directly to your house when you return.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Just report to the Company as soon as you return.’

‘Does this have something to do with how the mission was compromised?’

‘I don’t know. Sanjay was very specific about reporting to him. Very specific. But he didn’t explain.’

My flight was called. We shook hands again, and he slipped away through the crowds.

I took my seat on the plane, and had two drinks before take-off. I’d done the job. It was over. It was my last mission for the Sanjay Company. I was free, and my heart, the fool in that castle in the sky, sang all the way to thirty thousand feet.

I arrived in Bombay late, but Leopold’s was still open, and I knew Didier would probably be there. I wanted a report. The tall, thin airport contact had told me to go directly to the Company, which was unusual. I had a standing appointment with Sanjay, twenty-four hours after I returned from any mission. It was a mandatory cooling-off period, in case I was being followed, and Sanjay never varied that routine. But nothing about the job was usual policy, and none of it made sense. Before I went to my apartment, or Sanjay, I wanted Didier to tell me everything that had happened while I’d been away, and where Lisa was staying.

And Didier gave me a report, but not there.

We took a taxi in solemn silence. Didier answered every question with a raised hand. We stopped at a quiet place, with a view of the shrine at Haji Ali.

‘Lisa is dead,’ he told me, beside the windy sea, ‘from an overdose of drugs.’

‘What? What are you saying?’

‘She is gone, Lin.’

‘From drugs? What drugs?’

‘Rohypnol,’ Didier replied sadly.

‘No. No.’

‘Yes. Yes.’

‘It’s not possible.’

How could she be dead , I thought, and me not feel it, not know it somehow, not sense it?

‘It is a fact, my friend. She is no more.’

Splinters of lost time stabbed at me. All the things I should’ve said and should’ve done with Lisa, all the minutes I didn’t use to cherish her, everything stabbed me in the chest. I wasn’t there, with her, at the end.

‘It can’t be true.’

‘Sadly, it is true, Lin.’

I felt my knees wanting to run, or give way. A world without Lisa. Didier put an arm around me. We rested against the promenade wall.

A force of life drained away from me into the air. Atoms of love separated from the Source, because the world was turning too fast to hold them. The sky was hiding behind black cloaks of cloud, and the city-light on the water was the ocean crying. Something inside me was dying, and something else, a ghost, was trying to free itself.

I choked a breath, slowing my frantic heart, and faced my friend.

‘Her family?’

‘They were here,’ he said. ‘Very nice people.’

‘Did you talk to them?’

‘I did, and they talked to me, until they found out that I was your friend, as well as Lisa’s. I am sorry to tell you, Lin, but they blame you , in part, for Lisa’s death.’

‘Me?’

‘I spoke to them about you, for you, and for you and Lisa together, but they did not believe me. They do not know you, so it is easier for them to blame a stranger than to know the truth. They left the city yesterday, with the body of our sad, sweet Lisa.’

‘She’s gone? They took her home?’

‘She’s gone, Lin. I am so sorry. I am desolate.’

Cars passed us in swarms between traffic signals, leaving the wide boulevard open and then empty again. All along the sea wall people sat alone, in couples or in families, most of them gazing at the Haji Ali shrine, floating on the sea and lit for the soul.

‘What happened? Tell me everything you know.’

‘You are sure that you are ready, my friend? Could we get drunk first?’

‘Let me have it.’

‘Could I get drunk first?’

‘Didier, come on.’

‘I loved her, too, you know,’ he said, taking a sip from his flask. ‘And I’ve been through quite an ordeal, these last few days, without you.’

He put the flask away, took his brass cigarette case from his pocket, and selected a joint. Smoking peacefully for a few moments, he offered it to me.

‘I’m good.’

‘You’re good?’ he doubted, offering the joint again.

‘I’m not good, but I’m okay. I’m… not-good-okay. Tell me what happened.’

‘It was the night after you left. I -’

‘ The night after? That’s five days ago.’

‘I tried everything to find you, Lin. The Sanjay Company would not say a word, and I could not find Abdullah. I think that wherever he is, he still does not know, as you did not.’

Abdullah , my heart said. Where are you?

‘He’ll be hurt,’ I said. ‘He liked Lisa, and she always liked him.’

‘Very much so. She was his Rakhi sister.’

‘His Rakhi sister? She never told me that. And neither did he.’

A Rakhi is a simple bracelet that a girl can tie on a boy’s wrist, indicating that from that day onwards he must behave as her brother, and defend her staunchly. The bracelet is a symbol of the new brother’s victory, whenever he fights for her honour.

‘I was her Rakhi brother too, Lin.’

‘When did that happen?’

I had no idea that Lisa even participated in the Rakhi ceremony, let alone that she’d chosen Abdullah and Didier as Rakhi brothers.

‘And it is my fault that she died,’ he said quietly. ‘I failed, in my duty to protect her, while you were away.’

He smoked for a while, refusing tears. He looked at me once, and started to speak, but when our eyes met he turned away. We both knew it was true: I’d left her in his care, and he’d promised to watch over her.

A street sweeper scraped his broom against the kerb. He looked up at me, and nodded amiably. I watched him swish and step, swish and step: a bayside boulevard, measured in sweeps of a broom.

‘She pulled a prank on me,’ Didier said. ‘And it was not fair of her to do such a thing, because I trusted her.’

‘Go on.’

‘We… we were watching a selection of excellent French films, which I had chosen for her personally, when she suddenly developed a headache. She retired early to bed, and sent me out to buy a certain medicine. When I returned, I discovered that I had been tricked. I found a note, saying that she was attending a party, and would return at dawn.’

He sighed, shaking his head, as tears fell.

‘Where did she go?’

‘I learned that she was at a party for Bollywood movie stars, somewhere in Bandra. You know how many parties there are in Juhu and Bandra every night, and how late those parties run. I did not expect her to return before dawn, so I decided to remain awake, during the night, with Gemini, who never sleeps, and wait for her to call me. I left messages everywhere, including with your watchman.’

‘You’re saying what, Didier? You were supposed to keep her safe, and she’s dead, and I don’t get it, so far.’

‘You are right, Lin, to condemn me.’

Who am I, to condemn anyone? I thought. And Lisa had played a lot of tricks on me, too. A few times she’d left me wondering for a long time where she was, and what she was doing.