Gregory Roberts - The Mountain Shadow

‘Oh, yeah. That’s Singh. He kinda runs the place. Him and Diva together. He’s got a schnozz on him, that guy. If your main job is looking down your nose at people, it helps to have a long one, I guess.’

‘He also has a short list, to go with that long nose.’

‘That’s… that’s because we had to put a limit on who gets in here, Lin. You wouldn’t believe how it’s been, since people started hearing about how I’ve got all this money.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘They’re hittin’ on us, day and night. The hotel had to double its security staff on this floor to cope. And people still managed to get up here. One of them was banging on the door, asking for money, while I was taking a dump.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘I haven’t been on the street for three days. People were crawlin’ outta the shadows, man, all of them with their hands out for money.’

I recalled that the Zodiac Georges had themselves emerged from a shoal of shadows over the years, and always brandishing the shell of an upturned palm.

‘Uh-huh.’

‘But don’t worry, Lin,’ Scorpio added hastily. ‘You’ll always be on the short list.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘No, I mean it, man. You always did right by us. And I’ll never forget it. Hey! Speaking of which, do you… do you need any -’

‘No, I’m good,’ I smiled. ‘Thanks anyway.’

‘Okay. Okay. Let’s go find Gemini. I want to tell him about the new security arrangements.’

We found the Londoner in an annex to the suite, designed for use as a guest’s temporary business office. Gemini George had covered the large desk with a tablecloth, and had converted the office into a gambling den.

He was playing poker with a selection of off-duty service personnel from the hotel. The litter of several meals, drinks and snacks indicated that the game had been running for a while.

‘Hey, Scorp! Hey, Lin!’ Gemini smiled happily, as we entered. ‘Pull up a chair. The game’s just hotting up.’

‘Too hot for me, Gemini.’

Gemini George was a skilful cheat, but he never took large sums of money off people, and he sometimes deliberately lost hands that he could’ve won. For him, the thrill was in not being detected, no matter how he played the hand.

‘Come on, Lin, push your luck.’

‘I prefer my luck to do the pushing. I’ll watch a couple of hands.’

‘Suit yourself,’ he said, winking at me and throwing a chip on the table to raise a bet. ‘Scorpio, did you get our guest a drink?’

‘I’m sorry, Lin.’

He whirled on the hotel staff, playing cards.

‘C’mon, you guys! You’re supposed to be working in this hotel. Fetch our guest a drink. Get him a… what, Lin?’

‘I’m good, Scorpio.’

‘No, please, have something.’

‘Okay. A fresh lime soda, no ice.’

One of the players wearing room service livery threw his cards into the pot, and left the table to get the juice.

There was a shout, coming from the main door of the suite. As we looked up, Didier entered the office, dragging the major-domo by the length of his prominent nose.

‘This imbecile insists that my name does not appear on the list of permitted guests,’ Didier huffed and puffed.

‘What an outrage,’ I said. ‘Like, say, pulling someone’s nose, for no reason.’

‘No reason? When I explained that such an oversight is quite impossible, because my name appears on every list, from Interpol to the Bombay Cricket Club, even though I abhor the game of cricket, he actually tried to shut the door in my face.’

‘Can I suggest, Didier, that you let go of his face?’

‘Oh, Lin!’ Didier protested, squeezing the man’s nose harder in his closed fist.

The major-domo squealed.

‘He’s only doing his job, Didier.’

‘It is his job to welcome me, Lin, not to exclude me.’

‘I quit this job!’ the major-domo quacked.

‘Another thing,’ I tried, ‘is that you don’t know where that nose you’re squeezing has been.’

‘You’re right,’ Didier agreed, his lip curling in distaste as he released the major-domo’s nose. ‘Where can I wash my hands?’

‘Through there,’ Scorpio said, nodding through the doorway. ‘Second door on the right.’

Didier glowered at the major-domo, and left the room. The major-domo looked at me. I have no idea why people look at me when I have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

‘Might be a good idea to put Didier on your short list, Scorpio,’ I said, reaching out to pick up a small bundle of notes from the pile of winnings in front of Gemini George.

‘But, Lin,’ Scorpio whined. ‘Didier grabbed my major-domo by the nose.’

‘You’re lucky it was only your man’s nose he got hold of.’

‘Damn right about that!’ Gemini laughed. ‘Singh! Put Mr Didier Levy on the short list, right away.’

‘I quit this job,’ Singh mumbled again, clutching at his nose.

‘That’s your right,’ I said, handing him the money I’d taken from the table. ‘But if you do, you’ll get drummed out of the Guild of Major-Domos. If you’ll accept our sincere apology, on behalf of our friend, and this money for your trouble, we can put this behind us.’

The man held his nose with one hand, fondled the notes with the other, and then wagged his head, moving back to his position near the door.

‘Are you sure it’s major- domos ?’ Gemini asked mischievously. ‘Isn’t it majors -domo?’

‘Say, Lin,’ Scorpio remarked, brightening suddenly. ‘D’ya think… maybe… you could stay on with us here for a while? We got plenty of room. We’re thinking of taking the whole floor, and you’d be a real help in getting the hang of this being rich thing.’

‘Great idea,’ Gemini agreed. ‘Stay here, Lin. Ask Lisa to move in, too. Liven up the place.’

‘Nice offer, guys.’

‘Is that a no ?’ Scorpio asked.

‘You’ve got Divya on the case,’ I said. ‘From what I can see, she’s doing a pretty good job.’

‘She scares the crap outta me,’ Scorpio complained.

‘ Everyone scares the crap outta you,’ Gemini commented. ‘That’s one of the reasons why we love you. What are you doin’ here, anyway, Scorp? You never come in here. You hate poker.’

‘I don’t hate poker.’

‘Okay then, Maverick, what’s up?’

‘It’s serious.’

‘It can’t be more serious than the next hand, Scorp. Lin just gave away all my winnings to your majors-domo, because Didier pulled his nose.’

‘Quite rightly,’ Didier added, rejoining us.

‘Can’t argue there,’ Gemini agreed. ‘I’ve wanted to do it myself, occasionally, but I thought Singh would hit me. Now, gentlemen, I intend to win back all me previous winnings, so let’s play.’

‘I mean it, Gemini,’ Scorpio said. ‘It’s serious stuff.’

‘I’m playin’ against Didier. He’s a shark. He’ll gut me, if I so much as wink. How can it be more serious than that , Scorpio?’

‘I wanted to talk to you about the new security arrangements.’

‘The what?’

‘The new security arrangements.’

‘It’s a five-star hotel,’ Gemini replied. ‘We’re safe as ’ouses, Scorp.’

‘No, we’re totally and completely unsafe ,’ Scorpio said. ‘A kidnapper could hide in a food trolley, or even disguise himself as a concierge. Then we’re finished. Everybody trusts the concierge. We’re vulnerable to attack here, Gemini.’

‘Attack? What are you, Scorp, an evil warlord?’

‘We’re vulnerable. I mean it, Gemini.’

‘Well, if it’s so important, get it off your chest, then. Go on.’