Sheng Keyi - Death Fugue

Yuyue was the only one in the hospital not dressed in a hazmat suit. Unafraid of death, she spoke to the patients just like she always had. She patted Suitang’s head, telling her not to worry, it was important to believe that she would not die. There was a man waiting for her. This sort of talk did nothing for Suitang, who said with a hint of hatred in her words that she had not thought Yuan Mengliu was still alive. A week later she recovered miraculously, and received a red pacesetter medal as a result. She was given two days’ leave of absence from the hospital and after promising not to disclose any information, was allowed to go outside.

Mengliu waited for her in the beech grove. He felt as if they knew each other from another life. She wore a black down jacket and her hair was pulled back in a very high bun, revealing her full forehead. Her brown plaid scarf covered her sexy white neck. She did not wear a hat, unwilling to hide her pretty hair. Her mouth chomped constantly on chewing gum.

When he asked her why she had come to Swan Valley, she said that her plane had been hijacked. The other hostages were dead. She was the only one who had been rescued, but she had been brought against her will to the hospital to help deal with the epidemic. She said the hostages could have all been rescued, but neither the police nor the hijackers had any intention of leaving witnesses behind. She did not consider herself rescued, since the police and hijackers were in it together, and she was the person they wanted.

‘But you’re just an anaesthetist…Damn those human traffickers!’ Mengliu, unable to explain the complex emotion he felt in a few words, swore bitterly. He had already reawakened to her unique charms, and recovered his feelings from the past. It felt like he had been apart from Suitang for less than a year, but she seemed to stand decades away, blurring the concept of time for him. ‘Suitang, don’t go back to the hospital. You’ll die in vain…’

‘I’m immune. I won’t die. It seems you have been very happy here,’ she said, looking at him contemptuously. ‘It seems that what you are best at is playing hide-and-seek. Actually, you needn’t hide. You know I won’t cling to you. You know I don’t like to beg.’

‘You…it’s not that I wanted to stay here. I mean…I don’t know how to explain it. I was knocked out by a huge wave while on a boat, then when I woke up I was in Swan Valley.’ Even as he said it, Mengliu found his own words unbelievable. He laughed ruefully. ‘I’m telling you the truth…What happened after the incident with Jia Wan? Did you get into any trouble?’

‘Nothing happened. The insurance company investigated, and that was it. The funeral for that scumbag was very grand, with writers and poets coming from all over the country to attend the memorial service. There was an awards ceremony, and the deceased was granted the nation’s highest poetry prize.’ She looked out at the sky above the woods, then spat silently. ‘No one was more qualified for this award than Hei Chun and Bai Qiu. And you — if you had continued to write poetry.’

Mengliu thought that if the poetry prize was being devalued like this, poets didn’t really matter. He wasn’t concerned with poetry but with the Jia Wan affair. It had ended. He suddenly felt very light. He turned a gracious eye on the landscape around him.

The forest after a snowfall. A girl in black. A bough covered with ice on its north side. A pristine blue sky. A refreshing wind. Yes, he could remain calm. During his conversation with Suitang he kept recalling that the time he and Yuyue had decided on for their raid on the nursing home was only three days away, and he wasn’t going to spend those days talking about poetry or the dead, he would have to focus on perfecting their plan. Of course, if he wanted to arrange a reliable network of agents, he would need to recruit Esteban, Juli or Darae. There was no way to reveal all the ins and outs of it to Suitang now. He could only warn her that the place was not what it seemed.

‘I know you have already obtained Swan Valley’s certificate of citizenship.’ Suitang spat out her chewing gum, and took a small bit of ice from the tree and sucked on it like it was candy. ‘How could you escape without letting me know? I want to ask you a question. If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine, but only tell the truth if you do. To you, am I really just a shadow of Qizi?’

‘Of course not.’ Mengliu knew this was the moment for some hypocrisy, for sweet, kind words. Just like when a girl asked him in bed whether he would marry her, and he would always say that if he were not still waiting for his first love, he would marry. These sorts of words were useful for maintaining a girl’s self-respect and confidence. ‘You are you. You are not like her,’ he said.

Suitang’s mouth melted into a smile, and she quickly asked him about his relationship with Yuyue, and how many women he had been with in Swan Valley. Finally she asked whether he had written any poems for them.

‘There were no women, and no poems.’

He felt her voice piercing his defences, every word was a confrontation. She thought that when she had failed to get the large amount of money from Jia Wan’s will he had abandoned her, and so she had every right to criticise him.

He kept an apologetic tone. ‘I often thought of you, but I could not get back. This damned place!’

It seemed that his story was full of holes. She wouldn’t stop bickering with him, interrogating him. She didn’t want anything from him, but she didn’t want to be played for a fool either. She had felt like slapping him the moment she saw him, but instead she had acted indifferent. It was not because they were in the same boat again and she had to put away her personal grudges. It was more because when Yuyue had first told her he was here, she really was overjoyed, and when she saw him, her heart was filled with warmth and happiness. But she was afraid of losing face, so she had pretended to be cold, hoping to win back a little self-respect in his eyes.

It was as if she were reciting a tongue-twister, drawing out the minute details of her rich emotions.

Of course, he understood, so he kept speaking in low tones, allowing her plenty of space to vent her feelings, wanting nothing more than to play his role once her performance was complete. At last, in good time, he caught hold of three fingers on one of her hands and pulled her to him saying, ‘If you keep crying out here, your face will turn to ice. If you want to come back to my fireside and continue crying, that would be fine.’

So they returned to his house to continue their conversation.

She was surprised to find him living alone in such a large house. As she looked around, she said that only a wealthy man could live this way, a normal surgeon’s salary wouldn’t pay for more than the bathroom. If men did not sell their souls for their professions and women did not sell their bodies, what would become of the world? She rambled on. Who would dig out a three-room underground house, who would turn a scrapped vehicle into a mobile camper, who would fake a divorce for the sake of a house. She talked a lot, and energetically, and quickly forgot her tears. She said, ‘You must have had a windfall, or you’re being kept by a rich woman. You’re living in such luxury, no wonder you don’t want to leave.’

‘My material comforts were not less there than here. At first, I didn’t want to go back. I was attracted by the freedom they enjoyed here. In our art back home we wouldn’t be allowed to paint a moustache on our leaders. Their art allowed them to strip their dead leader naked. But I know now that their freedom is only superficial.’

The house was nice and warm. They sat cross-legged on the carpet. For a while, they almost forgot that they were living abroad. Her wounded feelings over Jia Wan had apparently healed, and her recent illness had had almost no effect on her. She was healthy and young, like fresh fruit on a tree. He could see that she was excited, that everything in Swan Valley seemed fresh and lovely, and that she did not intend to leave. He unceremoniously poured cold water on that prospect, telling her truthfully all that had happened to him, including Rania’s death, the letter from the person in black, his conversation with the robot, and his doubts about the nursing home. He also summarised his own temptations when faced with beautiful women, but he didn’t think that terribly important right now.