Sheng Keyi - Death Fugue

‘Juli…what a coincidence. You’re here too.’ He ran his hand over his hair at the same time as he realised that his gun was no longer there, and felt a timidity that came from knowing he was unarmed. ‘I heard noise here, so…What book are you reading?’ He held his hands behind his back, and bent his body to look at its cover.

She closed the book, and he saw its title, The Gulag Archipelago . He sat down beside her. She read aloud, ‘“June 3, radio stations in Novacherkassk broadcast the dialogue between Mikoyan and Kozlov. Kozlov did not weep. They made no further promises to identify the perpetrators amongst those in power. As they spoke, they only mentioned that the incident had been incited by enemies, who would be severely punished. Mikoyan said that the Soviet forces had not authorised the use of dumdums, so those using dumdums were certainly enemies. All those injured had not been accounted for, and none had come back. On the contrary, the families of the victims were sent to Siberia. Those others who were implicated, those who were booked, or who had been photographed, all faced the same fate. Those who participated in the marches were arrested and put through a series of trials…”’

‘Hey, Juli, you looked really beautiful when you were reading, like a bird singing.’ Mengliu interrupted cautiously, settling on the point to sweet-talk her. His feelings returned to being pure and simple. ‘I remember the first time I saw your face in the crowd. You were like a lonely century plant, your long hair fluttering. You could not have known my feelings at that moment — just when I thought I would never see another human again, I saw you.’ He looked at her intently. Her face was damp, her lips parted as if in surprise.

She closed the book again and put it in her pocket. Just the right size, the pocket looked like it had been made especially for holding a book. ‘Yes, you dared to go with me then, not afraid that I was some monster who would eat you up in the middle of the night,’ she said, stretching her hands along her skirt.

He continued teasing a little. Feeling that she had already got up onto his wagon, his own speech became a bit more presumptuous. ‘I wanted to be eaten by you. The best is if I could watch with my own eyes as you ate me…’

She did not seem to understand the lewd direction of his conversation, but said that he was lucky, since the Swanese were not cannibals. They were silent a moment, and he tried to think of a way to lead her a step closer to his meaning. ‘Have you seen a wild lotus? The other day I wanted to pick one and bring it back for you, but it was very strange. As soon as I touched it, the petals scattered.’ He shook his head with regret. ‘I think they are the most beautiful flowers in the world. It was just like a folk tale, something seen by very few people. I was lucky.’

Juli grew flowers in her garden, and she recognised many varieties, but she knew nothing about wild lotuses. This ignorance inevitably made her feel uneasy. ‘What colour was it? What flower was it most similar to?’

He pondered for a moment, then said, ‘White, or pink, and the petals were thin as a grain of rice. But up close, it looked very different …It’s difficult to explain, but it was amazing.’

She struggled to picture what the wild lotuses might be like, but gave up. ‘No, I have to see what this exotic flower really looks like.’ She jumped off the chair. ‘Take me there now.’

He liked the way she leapt up, like a wayward girl. ‘What reward will you give me?’

‘Are you taking the opportunity to blackmail me?’

‘Would a hug be too much to ask?’

She looked at him, acquiescing.

He stood up, his arms in a wide circle, like a gambler about to pull in the chips he had just won. She snapped into his embrace, and he raised the gun again. Their embrace grew tighter, neither releasing the other. Everything around them grew quiet, as if immersed in the pleasure of their embrace. Her body was soft, and he pressed against the fullness of it. The parts that were bony made him think she would break if he exerted just a little strength. But when he lowered his head to kiss her, a terrifying scream sounded overhead. A vulture was circling above them at a low altitude like a model aircraft. Their embrace came to a sudden end.

He led her deeper into the forest. They began their walk apart. But after ten minutes, they were clasping each other’s hands. He had no idea where they should go. He was looking for a comfortable patch of grass where he could lay Juli down and show her what a wild lotus really was. She seemed to be very patient, and didn’t ask him about their destination. There wasn’t any sunlight along the way. The trees were wet, and when the cold fog dripped down her neck, she cried out.

‘Tired? Rest here.’ He pointed to a fallen tree. He felt this place was all right, concealed enough, and completely safe. ‘I seem to have taken a wrong turn. I remember it was near the river…’

He braced his feet and sat down on the trunk. Juli looked at him, but said nothing. He reached out and pulled her towards him. She stood between his legs. ‘Have you seen that bit of hazel wood before?’ He took her hand, looking at her wheat-coloured fingers and the white crescent moons in her fingernails. ‘I forgot which hillside it was on. There are so many bushes.’

Her buttocks leaned against his thighs, and he naturally put a steady hand around her waist. Her chest was at the height of his mouth. His passion ignited again, and he buried his face in her cleavage, his body burning. He grasped her. Juli was like a plastic doll which emitted a strange sound when he squeezed. At that moment, as if he had pressed too strongly, the doll popped out of his grip. She looked like a deer standing still there outside his legs, her hair mussed. She said, ‘I still want to see the wild lotus!’

She was full of an unfathomable vivacity today. He felt that he was a penis, stuck in the ground and unable to move. ‘I have one more condition.’ He reached for the hand tucked into her pink jacket sleeve. ‘I want you to kiss me for a minute.’

He also had a puzzling waywardness about him, as if they were two innocent childhood friends.

‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Just for a minute.’

She stared at him, not making a sound.

‘Okay then, I’ll kiss you.’ As he spoke, he stood up, feeling surprised at how free-flowing his performance was, whatever he said. There was no monitor, no alarm. He got to kiss a real woman, then broke off to breathe, but she did not release him. Feeling she was on board now, his restless hand began daring moves. He decided to take her right there and then.

A crow cawed twice, quite rudely. As if she had heard an alarm, Juli suddenly released Mengliu. She could have been waking from a dream. She tidied herself quickly.

‘No, it’s not safe here.’ She covered her face, leaving only her eyes revealed. ‘Nearby there should be a rubbish dump. The people who go to dispose of things will pass by and see us.’

Mengliu remembered that Shanlai had also mentioned the rubbish dump. Right now he wasn’t interested in figuring out why they chose the forest as a disposal site. His body was about to explode, and that was the only urgent consideration.

They renewed their search for the wild lotuses. He clutched her hand firmly, his nose sniffing out a more secluded spot. She followed closely, like a runaway. Sometimes they climbed a slope, sometimes they moved on at a trot. He felt that with a woman like Juli, he needed to be clearer in his intentions, since she did not understand his hints. She was an elegant woman, and also infinitely spiritual, a vestal virgin. Of course, whether she was really a virgin he had no way of knowing.