Oonya Kempadoo - All Decent Animals

* * *

Ata returns to Alan’s dragon smoke filling Fraser’s apartment. Alan almost lives on the veranda now, trying to focus on the frog’s racket, when the fits come. “It’s dangerous now, Ata. He’s strong when he’s like that, and only Vernon, bloody amazing Vernon, can restrain him. Hasn’t left his side in days.”

“I’ll stay tonight, you need some rest,” she tells Alan.

“You’re not looking so hot yourself, darling. You don’t have to,” Helen offered.

“Everybody’s exhausted. I want to. You go.”

Just then, Fraser starts up again. Ata rushes in, then out, trying not to look.

* * *

Late that night, early in the morning, she tries to sleep, on that same settee. Vernon is coiled on the chair by Fraser’s bedside, the nurses whispering in the kitchen. Eventually Ata dozes, but wakes in a commotion. Vernon pelts out straight onto the veranda floor, bawling.

Gone.

Sure as her eyes were open and the smoke-weight vanished from the air, even as she runs into the room screaming at the nurses, “What are you doing?” they are tying him up. “Don’t do that, stop! Stop!”

“We have to do this before he stiffens.” They ignore her and continue wrapping his legs straight, his jaw … so that he immediately looks like a dead person. Not Fraser. Not the turtle.

She calms a little. This is how they keep his dignity — practical, cruel …

“He went peaceful in he sleep,” they tell her.

Roge, this may not be the book you wanted, but I hope it helps to preserve some of the ridiculous and wonderful memories of you.

* * *

And now that I understand why people dedicate books posthumously, this is also in memory of my mother, who first taught me that love lives beyond life.

Thank You

* * *

To Andy Taitt for edits and honesty. To Jeremy Taylor for generous notes, insight, and encouragement. To Jesse Coleman at FSG. Thanks to Roger England for space to write, and to my friends and sisters who understood my need to write this book. And gratitude to my love, Andy Grant, for fierce strength and an extra heart.

*Caricom Single Market Economy.

*John Newel Lewis, Ajoupa: Architecture of the Caribbean, Trinidad’s Heritage (1983), p. 29.

†V. S. Naipaul, The Loss of El Dorado: A Colonial History (1969).

*Roberto Calasso, The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony (1993).

*Roberto Calasso, The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony (1993).

*Paul Auster, City of Glass (1985).

*V. S. Naipaul, The Loss of El Dorado (1969), p. 174.

*V. S. Naipaul, The Loss of El Dorado (1969), p. 192.

*V. S. Naipaul, The Loss of El Dorado (1969), p. 51.