Ben Rice - Pobby and Dingan

Well, Kellyanne had chosen the songs, and first we sang the Australian National Anthem, “Australians all let us rejoice for we are young and free,” and all that, and then Fingers Bill played a Cat Stevens song on his guitar and those who didn’t know the words sort of just hummed it, and it went “Oooh baby it’s a wide world,” or something like that. And Kellyanne had chosen it because it was Pobby and Dingan’s favourite song. And it was quite amazing hearing all these people singing together. And I wouldn’t say it was too tuneful or anything like that. But it was loud as hell and I reckon the emus out on the Moree Road didn’t have no trouble hearing it.

Well, then the preacher coughed and took out a piece of paper and said: “I would now like to say a few words about the deceased.” And this is how his speech went:

People of Lightning Ridge, g-day. We have come together here today to celebrate the lives of Pobby and Dingan, two close mates of Kellyanne Williamson. They have brought much pleasure to our hearts and what a sad loss it is to say our final goodbyes to them — whom many of us never even saw, but only felt. We recall with pleasure Dingan’s calm pacifist nature, her opal bellybutton and her pretty face, and many of us will remember Pobby’s limp and his generous heart, and let us give thanks for their lives, which, whatever anyone says, they most certainly lived.

Well, people were sniffing and taking out handkerchiefs already. And even some of those real legend, tough miners were weeping onto the backs of their hands, and taking out rags covered in dirt to blow their noses into. The preacher raised his hand and pointed out at the crowd. He turned up the volume on his voice:

And there are some of you here today who have not believed! You have not believed in the invisible, because it does not shine forth from the earth and sell for thousands of dollars! And there are many of you here who have not believed in Pobby and Dingan. But God believes in them. And he believes in you. Yup. He sure believes in everyone here. Oh, yes, indeedee. And we are invisible. We are invisible and transparent and shallow and yet God believes in us. And God believes in Pobby and Dingan and he is in every single one of those lollies they sucked and was with them on the school bus, and when they played rigaragaroo and when they danced in the lightning, and even, I tell you, when they went missing so tragically out at the Wyoming claim, where Kellyanne and her brother Ashmol and their honest dad Rex Williamson went looking for them. God was with Pobby and Dingan and is still with them in heaven. Amen.

Well, thank God the preacher didn’t go on for too long after that! He just said some things about Kellyanne and what a brave girl she was and he said I was a plucky kid for sticking up for Pobby and Dingan and fighting for them to have a proper burial. And there was more clapping and my dad slapped me on the back so hard he almost knocked my teeth out. And then the preacher gave himself a more serious look and shouted out something about how if anyone had any reason why Pobby and Dingan should not be buried in the cemetery for them to step forward and say it now. And there was a long silence and I held my breath. And during the silence I was looking around at all these people trying to fix them with my eyes so they wouldn’t budge. But then a bloke called Andy Floom stepped forward and everyone turned and looked at him. And the preacher said, “Well, Andy Floom, speak up!” But Andy Floom, who was a few stubbies short of a six-pack, looked confused and said: “What? Oh, sorry everyone, I was just, like, stepping forward to squash a spider.” And people started laughing everywhere. And the preacher said okay, now he’d go on with the burial.

So me and Dad and Mum and a few others got down and lifted the coffins into the grave and Kellyanne watched us silently and totally wide-eyed. And only when we had the coffins all lined up in the dark hole did the preacher say, “Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,” and tears start glimmering down her face. And then I pushed Kellyanne forward in her wheelchair and she placed in the grave a whole pack of Cherry Ripes and Violet Crumbles, a couple of books and things. And Mum put in some flowers and then we stood in silence while two miners shovelled in some soil like they did when they filled in a mine shaft that wasn’t being used no more. And when the coffins were covered and buried the preacher led a prayer, and after that everybody started walking slowly home, sniffing into their sleeves. And I walked out last, with my dad resting his hand on my shoulder. And on the way out someone stopped us at the gate. It was Old Sid and he was holding out his fists and swaying in the road and shouting: “Come on, Rex Williamson! Come and fight me, you fucking ratter! You’re not going to get away with this! Turning the whole of the Ridge against me, you piece of shit! You ever come trespassing on my claim again and I’ll, I’ll, I’ll k-kill. .!” But then some kids ran up to him and started shouting, “Lizard eater! Lizard eater! Old Sid is a lizard eater!” and Sid turned away and we watched them hounding him back up the road as he swiped at them with drunk arms.

Dad and I caught up Mum and Kellyanne on the road. Well, Mum was suddenly smiling and singing out that it was about time we menfolk got back to mining, because she reckoned it wouldn’t be too long before we found something. And me and Dad looked at each other and couldn’t believe those words came out of her mouth. And as we came up to them, Mum turned the wheelchair around to show us that Kellyanne was smiling too. And Kellyanne Williamson smiled for the rest of her life.

But her life was short. A week later the whole population of Lightning Ridge came out to the cemetery again. My sister Kellyanne Williamson was buried with her imaginary friends, in the same grave, in the same place where millions of years ago there had been sea and creatures swimming cheerfully around. And she took with her some Violet Crumbles, in case Pobby and Dingan had run out.

And although in the end everyone believed that Pobby and Dingan had really lived and were really dead, nobody at the Ridge could quite believe the funeral of Kellyanne Williamson was actually happening. And I, Ashmol, still can’t believe that it did. I just can’t. I can’t believe it at all. Even now, one year later, it feels like she’s still totally alive. And I find myself lying awake talking to her all the time. And I talk to her at school and when I am walking down Opal Street, and Humph and I when we are out at the Moozeum talk to her together, and you will still see today if you go to Lightning Ridge people pause in the middle of doing whatever they are doing to stop and talk to Kellyanne Williamson just as they still pause to talk to Pobby and Dingan and to opal in their dreams. And the rest of the world thinks we are all total nutters, but they can go and talk to their backsides for all I care. Because they are all just fruit loops who don’t know what it is to believe in something which is hard to see, or to keep looking for something which is totally hard to find.

Thanks to Helen and Joe Stratford, Ridge rockhounds. And to the brilliant friends who read drafts: Rich Ager, Lucy Chandler, Helena Echlin, Ben Richardson, Tim Robinson, David Shelley, Philip Traill.

Two publications were a source of information: The Australian Geographic and the pamphlet Miner’s Tales from the Black Opal Country by Rusty Bowen (1997).

Ben Rice lives in London. This is his first book.